sbragen asked this question on 4/4/2000:

This is the story:

About 20 years ago, a woman I worked with was verbally harrassing me because I had slighted her.

I had inadvertently discovered a family secret. I found that her family was mafia, but I kept what I knew a secret. She never knew that I knew.

Because of this fact, I never wanted to become overly friendly or involved with her, but did so because I wanted to "keep the peace" in the office and to remain on her "good side". I was often afraid to annoy her.

She has since admitted that I was correct and that her family is in the mafia, but claims it is "just a business".

At that time, she was constantly troublesome at work, verbally fighting with an Hispanic woman, calling her a spic and general harrassment.

She complained daily about "the mexican" and made up stories about other people within the organization. I would get a daily headache because of it.

Although she assumed we were "best friends" I never thought of her that way. I did tell her, however, of personal confidential problems that I had. That, however, was a big mistake.

One day, she asked me if I would cut her boyfriend's hair. I invited them over to my home. I was informed by the police chief of my hometown (through his daughter, whom I was friendly with) that it would be best not to associate with this person, and invite her into my neighborhood. I lived in a sheltered suburb of Chicago.

Consequently, when I moved to a different office, I figured this was my chance to change gears and stop associating with her.

She took offense, felt I slighted her, and started making up stories about me. She told people that I took drugs, stole money from work, fooled around with all the guys at work, was a prostitute and blah, blah, blah.

I was actually propositioned by a fellow employee who was a salesman. He asked if I would go out with a client of his for him.

When I asked him who had told him I would do this, he gave me the name of this woman. I was sometimes afraid at times of getting physically hurt or beat because of this woman's lies.

Once I heard her making up stories about me when I walked into the washroom and caught her in the act. However, I was afraid of her and said nothing.

Anything she could say to make me look bad she would say. (all untrue, I might add, I was actually kind of a goody two shoes!)

I complained about her to my boss, her boss, and to personnel, but they told me to ignore it. They did nothing about her harrassment and they did nothing for the hispanic woman!

I wound up quitting my job because of this and for political reasons, but mostly I quit because of the character defamation.

And then, lo and behold, several years later, guess what? We both wind up living in the same town!! I felt sick when I found out she was here!

Well, once again she starts the same old baloney, calling me a criminal, prostitute, whore, pretty much everything imaginable - blah, blah and blah.

Unfortunately, this woman comes across as "authoritative", "knowledgeable" and "important". They do not know her background as I do. People DO actually believe her lies and I was afraid of her.

Once again, she had defamed my character and reputation. I spoke with a lawyer about suing her for defamation of character, but I felt that I could not win the case. I was also afraid of her "connections". The lawyer said I could send her a "cease and desist" letter. I didn't do it.

Because of this harrassment, I have now got myself in serious trouble with the police.

Because of my anger, I telephone harrassed her many times and sent her silly cards that told her what I thought of her. I did not sign my name.

This happened between January and October of 1994. The calls were just hang up calls, I have never threatened her in any way. However, she called the police because she felt threatened.

Apparently, they have evidence that I was the one making the calls because they told her that they know "I had something to do with the calls". They would like to interview me, but they have no probable cause because I have done nothing illegal since 1994.

Now, of course, I really am a criminal! This woman would like me to either move out of town or be arrested.

I know the cops are harrassing me though I basically am a good person. Now I am now the one getting strange phone calls and strange mail.

I am really upset about this and I am dead serious! Can you give me some advice about this situation? I really do not feel that I am not a paranoid personality but this situation is making me paranoid!

I went to the police station to see if there was a complaint filed against me and they said no. I have asked them if there was anything on my license plate that would cause them to harrass me and they say no. There is no warrant for my arrest. What is going on? Who should I talk to or what can I do about this situation?

Thank you for any advice or help you can offer me!

cruzmsl gave this response on 4/4/2000:

How long has it been since you recieved these calls and letters? In my opinion, I would highly suggest you just blow it all off. I know it seems easier said than done but if you don't then it can escalate to a new level that you might not be prepared for. What you might want to do is, each letter you recieve from that person is give it back to the mailman and tell him that you are not accepting that particular letter, after a while of the person recieving the returned letters, she will assume you have changed addresses and the letters should stop. It might take a while, but it will work. After that, you might want to obtain a P.O. Box and have your mail delivered there for a while, that way when your new fowarding address is to the p.o. box expires after 30 days therefore not letting "new mail that isn't recognized" to obtain your address without your consent. After time passes, and you have not recieved any bogus mail, you can then have your mail delivered normally. As for the phone, you might want to block the phone call from making calls to your house. If it is really bad then they have spresd your number around town and you will be forced to change your number. If everything fails, then you might want to try and rekindle the relationship just to "let her win" and stop having contact with her. If theres anymore, please ask. Ed

sbragen asked this follow-up question on 4/4/2000:

Thank you for getting back to me so quickly, I appreciate it.

I have been receiving "strange" calls and "strange" mail since 1994 when this all happened. I have been trying to ignore it, but a lot of it seems to be very blatant. The "strange" calls I am receiving either are "out of area" or tend to relate to something I have said or done within the last few days. A typical instance will be such as I purchase curtains and I will get a flyer or an advertisement in the mail pertaining to buying curtains.

This leads me to believe that "someone" is watching me. I don't believe that anyone would be interested in my business. Who else would bother watching me besides the police. I actually lead quite a boring life!

The calls also tend to be either repeated hang-up calls or related to something I did and/or within the last couple of days.

The mail tends to be of the junk mail variety, from no one in particular.

Once, and get this, I was at the pool and in the hot tub were handcuffs attached from the faucet to the ladder! This cannot be a coincidence! Come on!

I am afraid to contact her because I know she will say I tried to harrass her once again though I have had no contact with her since '94.

At this point, I want her "to win" just to end this crazy situation. Should I talk to the police about this once again? What are the statute of limitation for this kind of crime in Illinois? Once again, thanks for your input!

cruzmsl gave this response on 4/4/2000:

Quite boring? Sounds like it has some spice to it. Well you can always be an expert here, I know if I was married with children I would be a non-attentive daddy..haa haa...ohhh where were we? The statute of limitation should be 3 years, so I think your in the safe. You can go to the police, but be sure to speak to an investigator specializing in your problem, failing to do this can lead to a unresolved and problematic situation. Do you even know where shes at? well let me know. Ed P.S. Handcuffs? is this a public pool or private?

sbragen asked this follow-up question on 4/11/2000:

Hello again:

Actually my life is boring and and the only spice might be stinkweed!

Yes, I do know where the woman still lives - same place, same station.

i.e. handcuffs? a public pool.

There is also something that I did fail to mention regarding this case that in retrospect, I think may be pertinent.

My husband and I do not do drugs, "push" drugs or drink to excess. As a matter of fact, my husband is VERY naive about the subject of drugs.

I, however, when I was young in the '60's and '70's saw several people I knew become involved with, and even die of drug overdoses. I generally kept them at an arm's distance.

As far as I am aware of, alcoholism/drug abuse was not involved in either of our families history. I am an only child and only my mom is still alive.

Like I said I was a goody two shoes. The chief of police's nickname for me was "America's Sweetheart" as in what is America's sweetheart doing hanging around with the mob?

However, my son was arrested at 17 for drug paraphenalia in 1998.

He was arrested once again for burglary in 1999 at 18, and is a now a convicted felon.

A bunch of kids broke into cars along a street and stole things. I believe that he/they did this to sell the items for drug money, although we are well off and live in an affluent suburb of Chicago. Back to the subject, my son received S.W.A.T duty for this crime which he has not totally completed at this time.

He recently violated his probation and is now in the county jail for 45 days.

The fun and "spice" as you so poignantly mentioned never ends!

He violated his probation by having three positive THC tests, and also for ignoring his probation officer when he was ordered to come in for a another test. He has been through court-ordered counseling, has been through D.A.R.E. at school, and as parents, we basically set a good example. He should know better by now. Many of his friends parents, however, do have drinking problems from what I understand.

I have spoken to the P.O. about my son even though he is 19 and considered an adult. He will be 20 in May.

His P.O. told me that he has seen an improvement in my son and that he is straightening out.

However, the judge told my son next time it will be the state pen for him.

I am certain by means of "women's intuition" that he has been recently involved with pushing drugs. He had the windows on his car tinted and I believe that he did this to avoid anyone observing drugs or whatever in his car.

Spice huh? It get's better!

I am hoping that this little stint in the county jail will finally wake him up.

Fortunately/unfortunately(?) this county jail is "like a country club" and may not be harsh enough.

I have failed as a parent to impress on him how serious this drug issue is; either taking and/or pushing drugs and my husband does not back me up because he cannot "see" what I "see".

I know I may sound harsh, but I do not know what else to do, and feel that jail time is for the best. I cannot seem to straighten him out, so I pray the government can.

However, on the day of his court date, I got a "strange" call once again. On my caller I.D. was United States Government Can Company!!

Ha, Ha!! - Get it? I believe the police were informing me that my son was going to the U.S Government can/jail!! Pretty clever - don't you think? What a bunch of merry pranksters!! If I wasn't so upset, I would find it hilarious myself!!

I called U.S. Government Can Company to see who had called. Why, no one had called me, of course! I must be mistaken! Right!

A coincidence, I think not. I may be naive, but I'm not stupid!

I find myself pondering whether my SON is the target of this investigation - not myself. I now believe that they are surveilling me to find out the extent of my knowledge.

Unless the police think, of course, that because I was involved in one criminal act, that I might be involved in others. i.e. and that my husband/I are involved in drug related activities.

Don't you think this would be great for a tv mini series? Too bad its actually happening to me.

Am I making sense now that you know the additional story involved?

WHAT should I do? I know you find this bullshit hilarious and it probably is, but I am "dazed and confused" and its not from any of them "funny" cigarettes!

Thank you, once again for all your help and input!!!

cruzmsl gave this response on 5/1/2000:

good luck Ed

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