Anonymous asked this question on 3/31/2000:
My son was in his home studying at his desk (junior in college) when the front door burst open and another student (known to him from fraternity) ran in and started beating him. He ran out when he realized there was a girl sitting at the next desk screaming. He went outside and slashed the tires on my son's car. My husband and I called this boy's father who said he would talk with his son and said he would assure us this would never happen again. I called this boy(age 21) who admitted he was wrong, mishandled his anger, didn't offer to apologize or talk things over and refused to see a therapist. I called the father and told him he had two choices: His son would see a therapist of our choice and follow a prescribed treatment plan or I would be going to the District Attorney to file charges. (The father responded that I was being unreasonable and that "boys will be boys"). I don't know if this kid is more than a product of poor parenting skills, no ability to handle his anger, and in denial about his drug and alcohol abuse which I believe contributed to his irrationality. The father agreed to talk it over with his son, but told me I was blowing it up out of proportion. I want to know if this kid is more than a hothead and has a mentally unbalanced state that could lead to further attacks.
d_ottr gave this response on 3/31/2000:
My suggestion is to proceed with charges, and request that the District Attorney make the request for counselling. The DA has much more leverage, and the offender will have an opportunity to still get the help he needs. The DA could then stipulate that the record be expunged upon succesful completion of the court-required counselling, or the charges could also be dropped in lieu of counselling. It seems you want to keep this out of the court system, however the kid's father is stonewalling you, so you still have to do what you need to do. If this kid gets away with it this time, he will no doubt victimize someone else later (quite possibly your son again).
The average rating for this answer is 5.