I’m telling you right now this is absolutely the last May 9th event I will ever attend. They are completely boring and a waste of everyone’s time. My husband threatened to divorce me if I forced him to go to another May 9th event. ;->

The evening started out nice enough with dinner at this really excellent Italian restaurant. I went with the Chicken Marsala, and the hubby opted for the Veal Piccata. Please no replies about the poor little cows. My husband likes veal and no amount of horror stories will change his mind. We each had a couple of glass of wine, and we finished up with tiramisu.

It was scrumptious!

We always plan it to get to the event just before it starts otherwise you are forced to speak with one of the many regges that want to make an appointment with you to "brief" you or some other reason. I managed to avoid them this time but poor hubby got caught unprepared and so made an appointment that he will conveniently forget all about. In the C of S this is now considered an "overt" and Scientologists are questioned (sec checked) on "lying" about going to events and making appointments with the regges that they have no intention of keeping. Thank Goodness we don’t have to deal with that crap any more.

The event starts and guess who’s not there. Yep! DM is a no show again.

That was probably the most interesting thing about the event. The fact that DM chose not to MC it. I really did think he would be there because at the LRH Birthday Event he said, "See you on May 9," but Miscavige wasn't there to be seen.

Personally I don’t blame him for not showing up as this event really sucked.

For those not familiar with the Int Events held in Scientology I will give you a bit of data. The May 9th Event is held at Flag each year. This year it happened to be actually held on May 9th and then edited video copies of the event are sent out to the outer orgs to be seen on May 17th.

I am posting my report on May 18th in order to keep OSA guessing. Did I see it at Flag? LA? Or one on those little orgs?

The Dianetics Event is held to celebrate the release of Dianetics the Modern Science of Mental Health which was released to mankind <gak> on May 9, 1950.

These events are a colossal waste of time, money and resources but that really doesn’t matter much to the Int Management guys because they are way more interested in forcing the Scientology public to listen to all their PR and Indoctrination crap. These events are actually held to ensure that "Keeping the Scientology Indoc Working" stays strong.

There is no evidence that these events affect stats in a positive way, yet they continue to be held and the staff are continually hounded to get a rather resistive public to these events.

The PR line to get public to this event was that "something absolutely monumental is being released at the May 9th event".

HA!

The public was also told, "that after May 9th – the reactive mind doesn’t have a chance!! The facts are that anyone will be able to get rid of it due to the magnitude of what’s being released."

Ya right, sure.

So what was this "monumental" release? It was the same crap that was released at the last May 9th event, only this time it was released on DVD! Ooooooo. Ahhhhhh. On DVD! Wow!

The fucking C of S acts like they are on the cutting edge of technology by putting their crap on DVD. But the facts of the matter are that they are years behind everyone else.

They provided NO stats of last year’s Super Dooper Plan on getting people co auditing on Dianetics. They failed to tell us if this exact same plan that they had last year got more people on the bridge or not. But yet they think that this tired old plan of theirs is going to bust open the floodgates and people will be stepping on to The Bridge just because they put this stupid thing on DVD.

Give me a fucking break!

So who MC’d this event. It was none other than the King of Buffoonery, Heber Jentzch.

Heber sounded like he'd been honing his delivery for weeks. In fact all of these guys are beginning to sound so "polished" that the only upgrade left will be to replace them with computer-animated characters or even better with Looney Tunes!

Without a doubt Heber would be Foghorn Leghorn as seen here:

http://images.google.com/images?q=Foghorn+Leghorn&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF- 8&hl=en&btnG=Google+Search

Foghorn is a blustering big mouth Toon that thinks he is so very important but he always manages to get his ass kicked by the Farmyard dog.

You have to remember Foghorn Leghorn. He spoke with a pompous southern accent (Heber does not have a southern accent)

"Listen up now, ah say, listen up here! We are kicking some psych ass! These boys just ain’t that bright!"

DM wasn’t there but he is definitely Marvin the Martian. You remember him, he was that little Martian in the Roman Centurion outfit, with a kilt that looked more like a tutu.

http://images.google.com/images?q=marvin+the+martian&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF- 8&hl=en

Rinder was there and didn't mention a single SP, just good Dianetic news and more unprecedented expansion. I wondered if he'd been rotated off OSA for a while or if he walks this theetie-weetie road every May 9th. I’d replace Rinder with Goofy.

http://images.google.com/images?q=goofy&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en

ED Int was there and sounded even more responsible and determined than ever. I'd replace him with Daffy Duck but the hubby thinks he should be replaced with Peppy Le Pew because of his French accent.

http://images.google.com/images?q=daffy+duck&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en

http://images.google.com/images?q=Pepe+Le+Pew&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF- 8&hl=en&btnG=Google+Search

Ray Mithoff was there and was funny for the first three or so of his announcements because he didn't have the patter/cadence/tone level/whatever quite right, and so the audience wasn't quite ready to applaud when he'd finish announcing something. He finally got the standard event patter together and the announcement/applause /rhythm was restored.

I thought that Ray should be replaced with Elmer Fudd but the hubby voted for Mr. Peabody.

http://images.google.com/images?q=elmer+Fudd&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF- 8&hl=en&btnG=Google+Search

http://images.google.com/images?q=Mr.+Peabody&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF- 8&hl=en&btnG=Google+Search

There was lots of expansion news and awards were given out for upstats.

The only stat I remember is that of off-planet aliens routed onto a major Earth conspiracy -- it's in affluence. Oops sorry, I think that is actually the new stat for ars.

--

Cerridwen

"Critical thinking demands we question the unproven, not that we meekly accept it." Diane Richardson

For News on Scientology go to: http://www.scientologywatch.org For Stats on Scientology go to: http://www.truthaboutscientology.com/stats.htm

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