Straight from the home office in Xenu City These are the TOP 10 suggested improvements for Battlefield Earth (drumroll) #10. Get Issac Hayes to redub all of Travolta's speaking parts #9. Hire Elton John to write one of those "Lion King" style theme songs #8. carefully edit out all those two-frame advertisements for Dianetics #7. One Word: Muppets #6. Retrieve all those dance numbers from the cutting room floor #5. Replace a half-naked Barry Pepper with a half-naked Tia Carerre #4. introduce a cute cartoon animal sidekick #3. "accidentally" switch the film with copies of "The Matrix"

#2. Feauture Length commentary by those MST3K robots And the Number one suggestion for improving Battlefield Earth's video release....

(drumroll) ...Include a handwritten apology from everyone involved...

(band swings into Ray Charles' "born to lose") COBALTatTIGERDENdotCOM I'd really like a New World Order, but ----==============---- I can only afford a slightly used one.

now with 10% real ***************************************** fruit juice! Don't blame me, I voted for Richard Dangerous

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