This hilarious article about National Boss Day also mentions the L. Ron Hubbard cult :) ===== Give bosses a hand - and sugar cubes Gazette
17.10.2000
By Rich Tosches Yesterday was National Boss Day, when we said thanks to the men and women who have made us, the regular workers, everything that we are today:

Scared pieces of meat.

Although I love my boss, especially the way he smiles when he calls me thought-challenged, hyper-compensated, non-essential personnel in a permanent state of lethargy.

(He's a lot better than my last boss, who called me stupid, overpaid, worthless and lazy.)

Anyway, in honor of the special day, I'd now like to share memories of the truly exceptional bosses I've had, defined as: "The ones who paid for the dry cleaning after wiping their feet on me."

I decided on journalism after a summer in a steel foundry in Massachusetts. My boss at the factory couldn't hear well and was stupid. Today, of course, after 20 years as a writer, my bosses are merely stupid.

Except for my first newspaper boss - my dad. He was a newspaper editor and taught me important lessons about getting the facts, writing clearly and hiding office supplies in your pockets as you leave each night.

Another actual boss, at United Press International in Los Angeles, was Stew, the Day Editor. He picked me up in his van for my first day of work promptly at 8 a.m. Then - I'm not kidding - he stopped at a liquor store and bought a six-pack of Schlitz beer "for the ride."

Stew's management style was an open-door policy which meant you could talk to him anytime - even when he was kneeling in front of the toilet.

Then there was the bureau manager, an older guy named John, who - and here I paraphrase Will Rogers - never met anyone he did like.

True story: During my first week, I took a call from a Scientologist - the L. Ron Hubbard cult. I gave the phone to John and said: "It's for you, sir."

He listened to the caller for 10 seconds, stuck the phone inside a metal wastebasket and began smashing it back and forth against the sides. Then he hung up and loped back into his office.

Today this technique is used by the Springs police public information officers - where they're in a good mood.

Back to my bosses.

There was also Lon at the Los Angeles Times in 1988 who tried to assign me a story already printed in that day's paper.

Lon actually said: "Oh, sorry. I haven't read the paper yet."

(I guess that explains why Lon later assigned a reporter to another big story - the Lindbergh baby was missing.)

But now I work at the Gazette, and on National Boss Day I went to my current editor and said "Thank you," which he acknowledged with a nod.

Then I asked if I could get him some coffee, and how many lumps of sugar he wanted.

He nodded again.

Then stomped his foot twice.

--
Tilman Hausherr [KoX, SP5.55] Entheta * Enturbulation * Entertainment
tilman@berlin.snafu.de http://www.xenu.de

Resistance is futile. You will be enturbulated. Xenu always prevails.

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