Subject: Cooking with Xenu (fluff)
From: Tanith@Tyrr

Xenu enters, stage left, dressed like Julia Child. "Hello! Today we are learning the basics of cooking with evil cult leaders. They are very tasty when they are nice and plump, like L. Ron Hubbard."

Julia-Xenu remarks, "I am really happy to see some of the best posters of RFC being featured in alt.religion.scientology. Sheldon's wonderful .sig line. Mary F's recipes. And so much more. Now it is time to thank the Scientologists for taking nummy recipes from rec.food.cooking instead of using very boring racist posts so they can mail bomb and censor the news group where we like to talk about them.

Thank yoo-uu, David Miscavidge!"

(Julia-Xenu puts on a big white apron and rubs his tentacled hands together) "Now we are going to roast up a cult leader. It is important to truss them up securely before roasting, or else they might struggle and spoil the lovely glaze we like to put on them before they go into the oven. Watch how I make this beautiful glaze with some soy sauce, honey and garlic. Mmm-mmm, it's delicious!"

(Julia-Xenu brushes some savory meat glaze on a middle aged, net-censoring lawyer who is trussed up as neatly as a Thanksgiving turkey. She tries to give him the Death Stare, but the tentacled space alien in an apron is not impressed.) "Now we make Kobrin Surprise. To make this dish, you need one evil Scientology cult lawyer, some delicious meat glaze, and a lot of strong rope."

(Julia-Xenu smiles as he looks straight into the camera.) "Yes, it is true that I am only a fiction of L. Ron Hubbard's overactive imagination, but then again, so are all the Operating Thetan doctrines that tell you that you can achieve supernatural powers by paying for auditing that is supposed to remove the ghosts of evil dead space aliens like me from hanging onto your body. Anyhow, now we are going to eat Helena's brain."

(Deftly, Julia-Xenu opens the top of the lawyer's skull, and his smile changes to a look of dismay.) "Oh dear, sometimes these kitchen disasters do happen. We seem to be missing an ingredient. Cut!

Cut!"

Bon appetit,

Tanith Tyrr http://www.xenu.net/

-- Insane nut rant at http://www.linkline.com/personal/frice "Commodore Rimjob" is available at http://crimjob.tripod.com Why did the Scientologist cross the road? - mimus To slug Bob Minton. - Shydavid (See http://www.BobMinton.ORG/

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