Scene: an office. Clam puppet behind the desk. Phone rings.

RING! RING!

"Hello, Church of Scientology."

"Hi, this is Pete Benson from Alcor. May I speak to David Miscavige, please?"

"David...uhh...what?"

"Is Mr. Miscavige available?"

"Who IS this?"

"Pete Benson, from Alcor. I need to speak to Mr. Miscavige."

"Mr. Miscavige isn't here. He's never here."

"Well, do you have a number I can reach him at?"

"Mr. Miscavige is never available. Who is this?"

"Look, it's very important that I speak with him, or get a message to him."

"What is this concerning?"

"I represent Alcor. I'm calling regarding the continued preservation of, let me see here...a Mr. L. Ron Hubbard. We have not received a check for his continued maintenance this month. He has been in our care since 1986, and payment has always been on time. I'm calling to enquire if you no longer require our services regarding Mr. Hubbard."

"Uhhh...I don't really... let me get someone else who can talk to you."

(put on hold, caller listens to Apollo Allstars for five minutes"

"Hello, this is Benetta. How can I help you?"

"Benetta, this is Pete Benson from Alcor. We are storing a Mr. L. Ron Hubbard and the check is late. I need to speak to a David Miscavige immediately."

"Look, you. I don't know WHO you are, or WHAT you're trying to pull here, but you do NOT give me orders! You speak to Mr. Miscavige when HE wants to talk to you. Get it?"

"Okay, fine, lady. You just tell Mr. Miscavige that, if we don't get a check by the end of the working day Friday, his friend L. Ron Hubbard is going to bear a really close resemblance to a snowball in hell! Get it?"

<click!>

--
Barb
Chaplain, ARSCC
http://members.cox.net/bwarr1/index.htm

"$cientology sees the world this way: One man with a picket sign:

terrorism. Five thousand people dead in a deliberate inferno: business opportunity.

$cientology oozes _under_ terrorists to hide." - Chris Leithiser

Go Back