http://www.lightbody.net/~clightbo/archives/2003_12.html

it's over a year old...but I enjoy these slice of life stories from the bloggers and I don't think this one has been posted to ars.

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Scientology

Tonight I went to a bar called "The Cat and the Fiddle" in Hollywood. It's conveniently located next to a bunch of Scientology recruiting centers, so if you get too drunk you might end up joining a religion based on science-fiction novels. I guess worse things have happened when people got drunk.

I used to work in a building across the street, on a show called Rendez-View, which was like Politically Incorrect meets Blind Date, with a healthy dose of "why the fuck am I watching this?" thrown in for good measure. Our floor was mostly comprised of people working for the show. But we shared the far end of the floor with the Hubbard School of Administration. Hubbard as in "L. Ron". As in scientology. Women used to literally run down the hall toward the bathroom like they hadn't peed since second grade, carrying a big old Bob Cratchity chain with them. It was so bizzare that we assumed it must have been some weird Scientology ritual. Turns out, it was.

See, we discovered from a "Debunking Scientology" website that the foundation for this "religion" is that each of us carry what are called "Body Thetans". What are these, you might ask. Well, of course, they are the microscopic, bacteria-like ghosts of a dead alien culture that once inhabited the Earth, having landed here in what looked remarkably like DC-8 aircraft. I'm not making any of this up. Certain of these aliens were punished by having to run everywhere they went. So, of course, the body chemistry of the women in my building was made up largely of the Thetans of those particular dead alien ghosts. It makes perfect sense when you think about it.

Anyway, you don't find out about the whole alien aspect of scientology until you've been indoctrinated so far into Scientology that you have been essentially brainwashed and would believe that Britney Spears was really singing on The Grammys. The racket works like this. They tell you that Thetans are essentially "bad energy". And you need to go to Scientology centers and pay them money to help counsel them out of you. Session after session fail and you pay more and more money and are slowly told more and more about these Thetans and how important it is for them to get out of your body. By the time you have donated enough money for them to open a solid-gold wing of the Hubbard School of Administration, you'll believe whatever they tell you. Even that DC-8s came from outer space and colonized Earth with an alien culture, whose ghosts are part of your body chemistry and are largely the reason your girlfriend is cheating on you.

Anyway, The Cat and The Fiddle has nothing to do with Scientology as far as I can tell. But they do have a trough in the men's room.

Posted by clightbo at 01:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

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