While looking at Scientology's links to the Gambino Mafia Family I ran into this amusing comment:

http://www.dailyprobe.com/arcs/121701/index.shtml

Scientologists Refuse to Hand Over Travolta

HOLLYWOOD, CA (DPI) - Despite the demands of President George Bush following the cable television release of the potent terror attack known as Battlefield Earth, the "Church" Scientology denied America's request to turn over John Travolta. Spokesman Zachary Zacks said, "Mr. Travolta is present within our compound but we don't know his specific location."

Later, Zacks said, "Wait, we do know his location but we aren't telling you." Still later, Zacks added, "We don't know his location again. And I can lie without blinking because I'm clear." President Bush warned "The producers of crappy movies will face our might, as will the psuedo-religions who harbor these makers of crappy movies. Crap-doers everywhere must be brought to justice."

(Reported by... er, John Smith)

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