I was over $40,000 in debt for Scientology, and I realized that they were going to keep coming after me for everything I had until I was bankrupt.

I was being regged almost daily, sometimes in groups. No one seemed to be getting the fact that I couldn't pay. When I would explain that paying another $25,000 on credit cards would then put me $65,000 in debt, and that I would certainly go bankrupt, it was brushed aside as another "bank" consideration.

I was told on more than one occasion that I had probably gone bankrupt in many past lifetimes. What I was too aberrated to see was that *this* lifetime I had LRH tech to go bankrupt over. What I wasn't looking at was that this lifetime was worth the bankruptcy because of the supreme importance of one fact:

LRH tech would make me immortal. This lifetime, my *eternity* was at stake.

I had written knowledge reports about this to my course supervisor, to my registrars, and to some people at Int Management. I explained politely, citing all the correct references, that the practice of pressuring Scientologists to use credit cards for their services and getting them to go heavily into debt - to the point of bankruptcy - was squirrel and was against LRH Finance Policy.

My reports, of course, caused eyes to roll: Everyone knew that I was just dramatizing implants that told me that my life and my financial survival was important. What I should be seeing, but couldn't see because I was so aberrated, was that it was *My Bridge* that was most important.

Finally, I felt that if I valued my own life at all, I had to simply disconnect.

I was in the middle of a course at the time.

I received 5 to 10 calls per week for at least a year. One day, I was sitting at my answering machine listening to yet another voice mail left by yet another staff member. It was just another voice mail, like all the others any of us have received over the years. But this time I realized that I was listening to something that I should be looking at.

So I copied down the voice mail verbatim.

It's from my course supervisor:

"OK. Listen. There are five main reasons people blow from course.' "Number 1. Misunderstood words or no material.

Number 2. No help or word clearing method 4 from the super or no super Number 3. Interference from the super that stopped them from getting on.

Number 4. Personal out ethics resulting in a withhold Number 5. Simply booted off for reasons best known to God and registrars.

Like suddenly saying, 'You must now buy M1, etc. thus violating the deliver what we promise rule.'' "So. These are the 5 reasons people blow from course. You are blown and it is one of these reasons. So why don't you call me and tell me which reason it is?' "I read your write up and I think it's completely...whatever. It's like, [Poopsy], you have one of these reasons and you gotta call me. And the worst thing you can do is run away and hide under a rock because this is not the first lifetime that you've had to live through a life just working and taking care of a body lifetime after fuckin' lifetime.. You stay out there and you sit in your godamn house and drive your car and work your job. But if you want to go free you get your butt in here and you get handled.' "And it's like, yeah I got your report. I got it. But you still have to be attached to the org to get out of this mess. You are a thetan! You are not your body. OK? And you need to operate as a thetan. And not a body.' "So, I understand there's problems, and stuff comes up, and there's ya know...whatever... but the worst thing to do is run away and hide under a rock. Which is what you are doing right now. So knock it off and just call.

OK? Bye."

For the first time, I noticed something that actually permeates all of Scientology. After I had become a Scientologist, I started to invalidate life as a human being.

And after I invalidated life as a human being, I didn't see any value in being human!

Then it all opened up before me: Hubbard gets you to invalidate everything in life but Scientology. He gets you to surround yourself with the view that existence as a human is a trap and it has no value.

He then gets you to re-define the "real you" as an absolute ideal state, an infinitely valuable God that's really you.

When you accept Scientology as the solution, and step inside, you turn around and look out at the worthless, aberrated desert-world of being human. You realize that these people are living pointless lives.

You then begin telling yourself that Scientology is the only thing that will get you, and them, off of this hopelessly aberrated planet and out of this degraded state you are in, this graveyard of the long gone, this homo sap hell.

So you pay, and pay, and pay, because every time you look around, you see the same horrible problem - you are a human being!!!

Now you're really trapped. Because you know what?

You are a human being. And there's nothing wrong with it.

Life as a human being is infinite. It's everything.

Scientology is a way to get you to trap yourself by making you invalidate your life.

How do you get out of the trap?

Scientology 0-0880, of course!

You have this one chance in this brief breath of eternity. Tell your sons and their brothers, and their plants, pet lizards and poodles - the work was free.

Keep it so.

I hope you make it, all the way.

Signed, Poopsy Charmicheal

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