Scientology: Losing The Religion Part One
Phineas Pfogg Over the years, I have met a number of people, people who have looked into the seemingly implausible things being taught by the Church of Scientology, the huge sums of money they charge, people who cannot possibly comprehend how intelligent people can get caught up into it. To best understand this, one must understand that there are different types of people on this earth. If you are such a person wondering these things, then to understand this you will have to, for a moment, jump into the skin of someone who is different than you, cut from a different cloth than you, and, such a cloth, perhaps, as that I was cut from during those years that I was swept up by the church.

Once upon a time, during the year 1966, I was a young boy of fifteen, my mother was away on business, and so I was staying with two of her friends, friends who happened to be Scientologists.

"What is OT?", I asked Wanda, curious about the cryptic acronym I was seeing everywhere in church literature laying around the house. She had already given me the basics of Scientology and Dianetics, but the banal descriptions they offered me didn't catch my attention much, that is, until she answered this question. "An OT is someone who, if they wanted a hamburger, could make one appear out of thin air, like magic", Wanda replied, sincerely.

My eyes opened wide with amazement.

For a typical young man whose universe was laden with visions of superheroes, that was an irresistable concept, and I was hooked. After this, I lost interest in my high school academics, and proceeded to get poor grades. Of course, why should I bother with such a trivial pursuit as education, I reasoned, when all of this will become useless and moot once I acquire my OT powers as promised by Scientology? In the summer of 1968, I dropped out of high school and moved to L.A to join Scientology staff at the church located on 9th street. I found myself working most of the time with little time off, and the pay was not enough to live on.

I did this for awhile and later I joined the Sea Org at Celebrity Centre. We worked and worked and worked. I remember sometimes, during the few moments I took off, just in order to bath and do laundry, looking out of the bathroom window, at all of the trees in the yard, hearing the birds singing, the tranquility of it, such a feeling that was very desirable yet so distant from the business of daily Sea Org life. I felt guilty because I knew, as Scientology had taught me, that we were at war, and the war was serious, i.e., if we didn't work as hard as we could, even though life wasn't comfortable, nor was the pay much, there might someday be no hope for mankind, and even such a luxury as enjoying a few moments of serenity was too much, and that I had better get back to work, lest I commit an overt, and have to explain myself to the Ethics Department.

The mental conditioning was total, and if you had approached me at the time and informed me of the silliness of my efforts and beliefs, I would have just thought that you didn't understand the depth of Scientology, the powerful truths it afforded, and that Hubbard was, indeed, the true savior for mankind.

How is it that a perfectly intelligent and sensible human being would get swept up and completely taken over by such an organization?

If you, the reader of this essay, have never been overwhelmed and taken by a cult, good for you, and if you really want to understand how this phenomenon is possible, you must understand that there are people who live life with a huge void in their being, one that yearns to be filled.

Not everyone, myself included, believes that the cosmology and belief structure given in the Bible makes sense.

If not the Bible, then what? What is the meaning to life? Why are we here?

What is the nature of spirit? Does it exist? We are we going? Is there a God? Is there destiny? Christianity may neatly fill this void for some, but there are number of people who are disatisfied with it, and such people are ripe for cults.

No one with any common sense would believe that it is possible to create something out of thin air. But there are those, myself included, who grew up in a fantasy world, a world of comic books, superheroes, a world of daydreams, the world of a young boy who was fascinated by supernatural things, occult things, and even though I was a fairly bright boy, when I was told that this was possible, that omnipotent powers were attainable, my desire to believe it was so strong that this overpowered whatever common sense that I had. Common sense didn't really have a chance, and I imagine a similar phenomena must exist in the minds of many who buy into the belief system afforded by the Scientology cult.

But it wasn't merely the alleged attainability of omnipotent powers, the Scientology books exuded an aura of science and authenticity. Perhaps they wouldn't have fooled someone really studied in science, but they fooled the mind of one fifteen year old. The books then (not anymore, of course) had a more clinical look to them. Today, the jacket covers for the books smack of manipulative imagery, the volcano, etc, but back then they looked like real college textbooks.

Scientology is about indoctrination and control. You are fed a gradual serving of logic, stuff that actually seems to make sense, plausible, and it is presented in such a way that you interact with it, the courses, learning the auditing, auditing others. It is a dynamic which grabs you and seems to lift you and you get caught up in a whirlwind of energy and that energy feels good. It is a phenomenon which I label as the 'group grope' syndrome, which is a bit of a put down, I admit. But I have learned that there is a similar phenomenon which occurs with many cults; a large group of people united for a cause, the collective energy of which becomes a drug, and if you are a simple person with a burning void, and the ideology fits neatly into your style of beingness, you can easily become hooked. At this point you are not reachable by those who may be looking from the outside who are trying to awaken you to the truth of your condition. It is hopeless, you are lost. But you think it is they who are lost, those that haven't learned of the spiritual "technology"

offered by the church.

Hubbard was a very clever man. Scientology has many built in control points.

These are bits of doctrine which come into play to reign in those who might be thinking critically about the church. Mechanisms such as the doctrine of Conditions Formulas, which, on the service, seem logical. But the clencher is the condition of "doubt" which, if you are so unfortunate to have been assigned this, you will be punished, or have to endure a rather humiliating experience. The idea is that if you reach a state of mind, a doubtful state of mind, this state of mind, in Scientology, is a negative thing such that an official document is issued publicly in the Scientology community declaring you to be in a "Condition Of Doubt", and that in order to work your way out of this condition you will be assigned to the "RPF" (Rehabilitation Project Force, a Scientology-style amends-project, where you where dirty clothes, eat leftovers, and are generally humiliated), was one of the watershed events, since it happened to me, that cause me to break ranks with the church.

A whole book can be written about the atrocities imposed on individuals who endure the RPF. Do an internet search on Rehabilitation Project Force, and you will find a wellspring of documents on the subject.

I left Scientology after achieving a grade four release. I never went on to clear and OT, nor did I have any clue about the sci fi aspects of the upper levels. I only found out about such things two years ago after I finally bought my first computer. None of the serious issues raised on the contemporary scene and on the internet are addressed here (part one of this essay) because when I left Scientology, I did not know about them. I left the church after after I made a thorough reassessment of my spirituality.

And so I was thinking about those things which made me decide to leave way back in 1975 and decided to make a list of them. So for those teetering on leaving, perhaps those who may be contemplating it, but can't find the concepts to fully support that decision, although what I am presenting here may or may not help, there may be some out there who are similarly constructed and so to them I present the mental processes I went through which gave me the conviction to leave, as it allowed me to realize that I as doing, for myself at least, the right thing.

If you ask a Scientologist why anyone would leave Scientology, he will report the Hubbard doctrine which states that the only reasons someone leaves Scientology is because of misunderstood words or concepts in the study of Scientology, or crimes committed against Scientology. Piffle. Here are my reasons, and please note that some of my reasonings incorporate my own spirituality, with which you the reader of this essay may or may not be in accordance, but that is okay, this is just a report on my particular mental processes.

Why I left the church in 1975

1. I realized the preposterousness of the idea that, out of billions of years of evolution, physical and spiritual, our ultimate spiritual fruition depends on the work of one man.

2. I realized that many major upward shifts in human consciousness can be or probably are preceded by doubt about the status quo, and a good example of this was the Renaissance, and therefore the policy regarding the "condition of doubt" in Scientology is merely a device to keep Scientologists from leaving, but the ultimate effect is to deny an individual nature's own tool for consciousness raising.
3. I realized the preposterousness of the idea that our ultimate spiritual fruition must be purchased.

4. I realized the preposterousness of the 'life is a dwindling spiral' doctrine.

5. I realized that books by Hubbard like DMSMH are written nowhere near the objective standard required of Scientific texts, and are therefore not science.
6. I realized that the Scientology doctrine of the emotional "Tone Scale" is flawed, and emotion is not on a vertical plane. There are only pleasant emotions and unpleasant emotions, and highly intelligent beings can exhibit any emotion, just as extremely stupid beings, and so although there may seem to be a correlation between the consciousness plane and tone, there is no real correlation between emotional tone and a vertical scale of consciousness. Now a Scientologist may point out that the doctrine of the Tone Scale mentions nothing about being correlated to awareness level, but the very fact that it is placed in a vertical scale suggests this. Even if we exclude the Scientological correlation inferred by me, emotion does not exist on a vertical plane, it exists only a subjective horizontal plane and on one end you have pleasant emotion, and on the other you have unpleasant. and there are some items on the Tone scale wich are not 'tones' or emotional states, among which is death, which is merely a biological event, and another is action, which is a measure of energy, belonging to a different scale, another is 'needing bodies', and this one is peculiar, but it is not a 'tone' but could be an pathological obsession. This realization of the flaws in the Tone Scale doctrine made me want to explore other Scientology falsehoods, since this was a clear-cut erroneous doctrine, there must be others.

7. I realized that the truth of spiritual growth is nothing like the Scientology model, where one achieves (allegedly) clearly defined levels which are displayed in a ladder-like fashion. In my universe, the better model is nature, which is that of seeds sprouting, branching out, achieving fruition, but gradually, in stages perhaps, but in fits and starts, etc, and that spirit is not something apart from nature, and so must be in accordance with this. I like the nature model because we are, indeed, like seeds in a cosmological garden, and when the time comes, our spiritual fruition is inevitable, and that, like nature's organic seeds, we, as spirit is our natural heritage, and that Scientology's cosmology is the antithesis of this.

8. I realized that the doctrine that states that life is basically a game is false. That life is a game is only as such in the mind, it is a state of mind, i.e., a mental projection placed on reality, but not reality itself.
9. I realized that The Factors (an pseudo-axiomatic book by Hubbard, which describe the origins of the universe, all of which are "humbly tendered as a gift to mankind"), which to my very young state of mind, ( I was only fifteen when I got in) seemed very profound and impressive. But as I got older, they became tired sounding, and I realized that the truth was that Hubbard was merely playing on emotions since they had a 'Genesis' style, and so as to give Scientology more of a religious slant.
10. I realized that the doctrine which states that 'the highest purpose in the universe is the creation of an effect' is false. Philosophizing about life's highest purpose is one thing, but claiming it as a self-evident truth throws into question the intellect of the doctrine's source. Moreover, in my view, life is so infinitely vast, and our minds or so infinitely small compared to it, it would be supreme arrogance to assume what the highest purpose of the universe is, if, indeed, there is a 'highest purpose', which I sincerely doubt.
11. I realized that it is better to go through life influenced by many different sources, not one source, and to do so is dangerous in spiritual terms.

12. I realized that Scientologists, as a whole, tend to think and act alike, and that this was not a good thing.
13. I realized that no significant body of knowledge has ever been accomplished by one man.

14. I realized that the doctrine which states: "The supreme test of a 'thetan' i.e., spiritual being, is to make things go right" is false. In my universe, that factor which slows down our achieving the ultimate truth, and probably the most difficult thing to do in this world, is to let go, because the ultimate fruition of the soul cannot happen until the *thetan can let go of everything.

The nirvana described by Zen is the antithesis of *OT, and, the Zen view is closer to the truth, as I see it.

With OT, you have a disembodied being who can impose with impunity his will upon the universe.

That concept appeals only to one's sense of greed, and it does not appeal to the selfless self, it does not appeal to any concept of beauty and wholesomeness. The Zen nirvana is far more harmonious with nature, and can be achieve without introspection and paying anyone money, and, I believe is permanent, though Scientology will claim that it isn't. And so, in my (perhaps weird, I know, I'm dealing with my own beliefs here) world, the supreme test of a 'thetan' is to let go. I make this assertion simply because it is clingingness which slows spiritual growth, and "making things go right"

reinforces clingingness.

15. I realized that if there was, indeed, anything like the reactive mind, nature allowed it, and there must be a good reason for it, and it cannot be the reason that we are not achieving spiritual fruition, for the idea itself that there is something within us that is preventing us from raising our consciousness is false.

16. I realized that the anti-eval policy as preached by the church was not conducive to spiritual, mental, and emotional health, simply because it denies the individual nature's own tool for 'mirroring'. For example, if one acts like a jerk, and many of the person's friends indicate this to the person acting like a jerk, that person, when he or she learns that people are merely "reflecting" his foolish behaviour, he or she can learn and improve from this reflection. However, in Scientology, this would be considered as "evaluating"

for that person, and they would limit that person to discover himself through "auditing". But the flaw in this is likelihood that the *preclear will not list this *in session as an item that needs to be addressed. And so the individual is forced to live in a Scientological greenhouse, where *entheta is to be avoided at all costs. But this is not natural, this is an artificial environment.

Take the model of the greenhouse plant. A plant grown in the greenhouse will not survive in the wild as well as the plant which is hardened in the wild, and so the same is true for people, and because of this, Scientologists are harmed as individuals because of Scientology's own greenhouse effect as promulgated with the anti-eval (anti-evaluation) policy.
17. After having served in the Sea Org, I realized that the Scientology stated goal of "clearing the planet" (getting everyone in the world into Scientology) was not a spiritually beneficial goal in light of the fact that it is a flawed doctrine, i.e., flawed because it is an impossible goal, and to garner others into an impossible goal creates an environment of oppression.

18. I realized that forcing people to disconnect from family members was an antisocial policy.
19. I realized that auditing was dangerous in that preclears are in the hands of highly indoctrinated and unqualified persons, and should not be trusted with one's personal thoughts.
20. I realized that to abandon Scientology is not, in itself, an insane act, nor is it necessarily because of misunderstood words, nor criminal acts, though it could, but the act of abandonment could easily be brought about by disillusionment. And so the Scientology line in this regard is false.

21. I realized that the doctrine which states that Scientology always works when the 'tech' is applied to a certain standard is false. I realized that the assumption of "keeping tech in" to exclude the possibility of tech contribution by anyone other than Hubbard himself, is a view which, especially to the scientific community, is the zenith of arrogance.
22. I decided I would create for myself my own personal policy which was to never surrender my own spiritual growth to anyone.

23. I realized that the essence of Scientology, i.e., the 'auditing' has much in common with hypnosis, so much so that I realized it was, contrary to its assertions, hypnosis, and the basis of the Dianetics and Scientology technique was introspection, and at the hands of unqualified persons, introspection could be dangerous.

24. I realized that in the nine years I considered myself to be a Scientologist, Hubbard had not made one major public appearence. Whatever the reason was, there was no excuse. Recently, I discovered that during those years Hubbard never made a public appearance he was being sought under indictment by the FBI.


And so there are probably more things I could place on this list, these are the major factors which were brewing in my conciousness at the time, and they are still true, to me anyway, today.
If you are a Scientologist and you are thinking about leaving, know that there is a life outside of Scientology, and that you can do it. Leaving Scientology after achieving the conviction that it was the right thing to do, was like lifting a great burdon from my soul. I talked to the ethics officer about this, and he told me that all I really wanted to do was to be "comfortable", and then referred me to get word-cleared. That was the best he could offer me. That answer made me realize that this individual was not capable of giving an answer originating from his own conciousness, there was no answer welling up in his being to give to me, only a mental search in his memory banks for the relevant Hubbard policy which addresses my concern, and this served further to seal my conviction that I was making a breakthrough, that leaving was essential to my spiritual and emotional (and financial) health, simply because I did not want myself to become like the machine who called himself an 'ethics officer'.

If you are leaving Scientology, stay away, I repeat, avoid Scientology Ethics Department. They do not have your best interest in mind, only the furthering of the Scientology agenda, which is to continue to make you a slave to their ideology, all under the banner of imparting you with "total freedom".

"Total Freedom" is the major point of control.
I realised that the best Scientology can do is turn individuals into machines.

They may become energetic machines, but machines nevertheless.
A machine has no life, it is a dead thing.
Scientology is a machine.
This is why I am not a Scientologist, nor can I ever become one again.

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