I have been reading up on Scientology on the internet and cannot believe how much it dredges up the memories of my childhood in the org. i can understand people committing suicide so they could escape the horrors of the cult. My family of 10 had to slip away gradually and in the middle of the night with only a carload of kids and dirty laundry, everything else had to be left behind. My parents were persuaded to sent their pre-teen children away to the Sea Org in Clearwater, Florida and Manhatten, NY to work 12 hour days with little or no schooling (outside of Scientology classes) and no official adult guardian. At this time I was witness to the horrible treatment of staff members who were being repremanded for something or another.

One girl, only a year older than me, was living at the Sea Org in Manhattan. As punishment for not keeping her quarters clean, she was sent to live in the basement of this 7 story building.

A 14 year old, made to spend dark nights in a rat infested basement on a mattress. Images like that don't ever leave you.

Meanwhile, back at our home org, my younger sibling was trained in Dianetics auditing and was providing services at the age of 11.My parents were working 6-7 days per week, 15 hours per day, for as little as $50 per week, which only allowed them to keep five children in a one bedroom dilapitated apartment (with no stove, washer or dryer) for the period of one year.

My mother was in fact reprimanded for even asking (through the proper channels as policy deemed acceptable) for one day off each week to relax with her children and attend to the significant amount of laundry that a family of 7 will produce in one week. We children were largely unsupervised, did not attend school for two years, either working in the org or keeping the younger siblings at home while our parents worked.

We were paid, of course, but the org does not have a pay scale that uses minimum wage. As a non-profit organization, they manage to pay the staff according to what the org is bringing in each week, which was seldom enough to eat on. After I began to rebel against the church in favor of my public school atmosphere, I was put in a exit-program requiring me to write all the things I had ever done that were against the church (the thinking being that I would not want to leave unless I had committed these "overt acts"). Keep in mind that I was only 13 years old. I went home without telling anyone (big no-no).

The church then strongly urged my parents to send me to live with my anti-Scientology grandmother in a neighboring city.

Rather than send me away once again, they woke the four of us up on their one day off and instructed us to pack our things, we would be moving across the country. We arrived at our destination three states away to join my older brother and uncle, who had left the church month's earlier. They did not even know we were coming. The church called and tried to get us back, and we refused. when my parents returned to the apartment to retrieve the remainder of our belongings, they found it ransacked with only a few valuables left. We were all then declared "suppressive" and deemed evil and can not return without a major apology and repayment for all services receieved as staff members. the ironic thing is that I and my siblings, ranging in age from 2 to 13, had no say in the decision to leave, but we too were declared supressive, forever.

I wish I could find a support group that deals with the post-traumatic stress of Scientology. No one else in my life, aside from the family that lived it, understands. Even I know how unbelievable it sounds when I explain it. This organization is a money-hungry, brainwashing dictatorship. Active Scientologists will go to great lengths to be sure no one bad mouths them because they don't want to face the truth and admit they fell for it too. I dare any Scientologist or representative thereof to defend themselves against my experiences. There are more like me out there who have a story to tell and when we all get together and unite, we will make a difference.

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