When the holidays approach we think back on friends and family. We think about those we have loved and lost, of those with whom we have lost contact, and those we wish were still a part of our life. In the case of scientology, these friends and family members are often lost through the process of disconnection.

How many of you staff members are thinking about the holidays, old friends and family. Would you like to see these people again, but you know you cannot due to so many factors. One, big factor is the lack of funds. You are not paid enough money to live off of, much less enable you to travel home. If you have a friend or family member who will pay for your ticket, are you able to get liberty? Will there be another of those all hands alerts? Also, what about the sec check when you return from liberty? You have to be real careful while you are home not to get into any discussion about the church that may show up in a sec check.

Are there days when you miss your old friends and family but you push those thoughts aside for fear they will show up in session, or during a sec check?

Did you disconnect from them because you were told to? Did you break comm with them because you knew they disagreed with the practice of scientology, and you did not want to get into a discussion that would cause you problems with the church? Either was the end result is the same, you are alone, at the mercy of the cult.

The lure of memories is potent, far more than the church wishes to allow. Thus, they continue to tell you that you are with your own kind. That you are not a prisoner, but they are keeping the wog world away from you for your own well being. Their goal is for you to avoid enturbulation, and upsets that may result in problems with your case. That is false. The object is to keep you from learning the truth about scientology, for to learn the truth is to question, and once you begin to question, you will ultimately leave. Since Hubbard believed one was here for the duration, this is unacceptable behavior, subject to ethics handlings.

Aren’t you tired of ethics? Tired of O/W write-ups and KRs? Do you feel as if rather than saving the planet, and gaining spiritual awareness and regained abilities that you are actually in the midst of an organization gone mad? You are not alone, many of your fellow scientologists feel that way—they are simply too scared to think it, much less express it.

Guess what, a few are expressing their doubts to those to whom they are close.

This includes OTs. Yes, even OTs have their doubts about the direction of the church. But do you know what happens? Ultimately those that remain behind are left alone, alone with their doubts, their fears, and their concerns about how your departure will impact them ethically. Why? Because they know, as you do, that they will also be blamed for your departure, and questioned in detail. The one who escaped may elude scino’s peculiar brand of justice, but the one’s left behind will not.

So, who do you express your doubts to? Well, we know you are not allowed to discuss your case with other than your auditor. But you cannot trust your auditor, can you? How do you tell your auditor that you dislike the direction of the church, that this is not what you thought you were signing up for. How do you tell your auditor you really want to leave, but you have fears of leaving? Can your auditor understand your fears of remaining in the church versus your fears of making your way in the real world?

What if you are married? You cannot discuss your case with your spouse. Stop and think about that for a moment. In the courts communications between a husband and a wife come under the heading of marital privilege, considered sacrosanct. Scientology recognizes no such privilege. In fact, it is virtually prohibited.

So, you are married? What if your spouse will not leave? What do you do?

Divorce? Are their children? Are they to remain with the remaining spouse?

Scientology will think so, regardless of what you feel. In fact, they will do all they can to discredit you as a parent. If you are staff, have your children joined the Sea Org? If so, do you worry about their future? Do you worry that if they ever choose to leave that they have no training for the real world?

And, do you worry that you will never have contact with them again?

Have my questions impinged? I hope so! Doubt is not a crime. It is simply a reasonable response to tyranny. Make a New Year’s resolution to find out the truth. If you are reading this on the net, look at www.xenu.net. Operation Clambake has survived four years of attacks by the cult. This site is extremely valuable and will point you in many directions. Be sure to read Arnie Lerma’s pages, which are especially useful for member with questions about leaving scientology. You will find the pointer to Arnie’s website on www.xenu.net, or go directly to the exit pages at http://www.lermanet.com/exit/.

I strongly urge you to read what you find on these pages as a way to take your first step out of scientology. Feeling nostalgic for the life you had before becoming ensnared by the cult? That life can be yours again. You have only to reach out and have the courage to grasp, and it shall be restored. We are here to help--you need only extend your hand.

Elizabeth Ann Cox
AKA, Bunnyann

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