Today on Howard Stern's show, Lisa Marie Presley was a guest. They were talking about Lisa Marie's recent appearances on various shows like David Letterman, then Robin Quivers asked if she would be on Kirstie Alley's "Fat Actress" show any time soon. Howard asked why she would be doing that and Robin said "Because she's having all of her Scientology friends do it!". Howard said he'd forgotten about Lisa Marie being a Scieno and asked if she was going to bail out of that, and Lisa Marie said, "Hell, no!". Then Howard said if he ever dated Lisa Marie there'd be no way he'd go to the Celebrity Centre with her, and how his current girlfriend used to go church every Sunday before she started dating Howard but not any more because Howard won't go to church. Then Howard mentioned that Elvis didn't approve of Scientology, which Lisa Marie didn't seem to believe.

Then Howard asked how often she went to the Celebrity Centre and Lisa Marie said whenever she could, and he asked if she hung out with Travolta, and Lisa Marie said, yes, he was a friend, but that she also had friends who weren't Scienos. Robin said that practically all of the guests on "Fat Actress" were Scienos, and Lisa Marie said Kid Rock wasn't. Then Howard asked Lisa Marie that when she was at the clay table, did she ever look over and see Tom Cruise or Travolta.

Then Artie Lange said that he's seen the Celebrity Centre in L.A. and how it's gorgeous, like a five-star hotel. Howard wondered how they could get that kind of money to have a swanky place like that and said he should start his own religion after his radio career is done and make a bunch of money.

Then Howard mentioned Jenna Elfman and how she recently announced that her current mission is "to clear the planet of body thetans". Lisa Marie said "She did not!" Howard insisted it was true and asked Lisa Marie what Jenna meant. Lisa Marie said she had no idea. Howard asked her "What are body thetans?" while Fred Norris started playing weird, spacy "Twilight Zone" sound effects. Lisa Marie again said she had no idea. Robin then said, "Didn't she say they were aliens that had invaded the planet?" Then Artie joked that he thought she said her job was to clear the planet of good sitcoms.

Then they changed the subject.

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