It was the 24th of July, 1998.
Until that day I was auditing as a staff in my middle-sized class V org.
Until that day I blindly accepted Scientology rules and forgot my own goals because I was thinking that I, as a staff member, was freeing Mankind.
But that day was different.
The day before I made a Clear and I was glad. He was a very nice guy and I was happy for him. Not only, 2 day before I knew a girl and I immediatly felt in love with her.. I didn't know how to reach her but despite that I was happy. She entered in my future plans.
So I take my liberty day on 24th July 1998 and I decided to do an excursion going to the mountain.
I drove my car for about 40 miles out the city and then I covered the little byroad that climbed on the mountain.
I reached a col (about 1000 ft. altitude) and then I left my car and climbed few rocks with my auditor-feet.
That day was the first time after 4 years as a staff member life that I decided to have a little holiday (one day).
There was a wonderful landscape and the air was thin and bracing.
I compared that sensation of freedom to my tiny auditing room.
After 9 years of Scientology schedule and handlings for stats, stats , stats I felt again my energies coming back.
In that moment I understood that staff members were too often being on sacrifice and that there was no real reason for that.
In that moment I also understood that the price of the Church were sensless and I remembered that during 10 years of Scientology I saw only rich people going up the Bridge to OT.
I remembered that publics (and even staff members that went to get auditing in higher Orgs...) were usually getting loans after loans "to go on the Bridge" ... and that, compared to the freedom I felt only for being on the top of that col, became sensless to me too.
I realized it was a trap.
I decided I wanted to go free.
When I came back to the city I was changed.
I had again my freedom dreams coming alive.
Then that girl became my girlfriend ( unfortunately only for a while).
I remained in the staff but things became different because I was changed.
After that day I had rough times as a staff member because I had my doubts growing ... but in the end of 1999 I did the last step and I blew the org.
It happened in December 1999 ... but it all started on July the 24th, 1998.
I'll never forget that day.
After the blow I arranged with OSA my sit and remained officially in good standing with the Church. But I did it only because I still have good friends that are Scientologists and I don't want to have them to disconnect from me.
My new life started on 1998 July the 24th.
The voice of truth