THE KNIGHTS OF XENU, AND CHURCH OF XENOLOGY (by Jerry Ladd) The Knights of Xenu is kind of like the Knights of Columbus - from the Catholic Church. The Knights (KoX) are members in the Church of Xenology; and we believe it _IS_ the Followers of Phatmanotoo (FOP$) that's spreading all this Xenophobia around.
The Knights spiritually willed Xenu out of his Prison in a mountain at the end of a cul de sac in Shadow Hills, CA in 1989.
This property was owned by several OT VIII's and transferred to a car leasing company, with an address giving as the Cedars Complex on Fountain Av. in Hollywood. Guess who Xenu's captors have been for these 75,000,000 years?
Yes, Xenu is FREE at last! Now he will tell the true story of what happened 75,000,000 years ago--the real E-vil culprit is Phatmanotoo, that we at KoX just refer to as "Phatmanotoo", "The Phatard", or "the Fat Man".
Xenu was like the Moor in Othello; Phatmanotoo was like E-VIL Iago. Phatmanotoo said Xenu dropped the nuclear bombs in the volcanos, when in fact it was Phatmanotoo - the Fat Man, as a scheme to make a lot of money.
75,000,000 years ago the e-vil Phatmanotoo - with the head of red-haired, bass-lipped man, and the body of a manattoui, slithered up the side of a volcano, on the planet Gushishitiki, and dropped in an atom bomb; because, Xenu had given "The Phatard" an 'F' in a Nuclear Science class, at what was then called "George Washington University". (There is a similar institution today - 75,000,000 years later!!!) Why do we refer to Phatmanotoo as "The Phatard" ? The word comes from the _ancient_ Greek verb "Phatar": 'To fatten, as with food, the work of slaves, and money-laundered currencies of all nations'; and "Bastard": 'any irregular, inferior, or counterfeit thing.' For his high crimes, Phatmanotoo went through various cycles, as ants, slugs, vultures, sharks, etc.; until he found a pregnant woman in Nebraska in the early 1900's. The rest is history.
The spiritual message of the Church of Xenu is FREE. Xenu is a kind, charitable spirit who believes giving is more blessed that taking. The Knights of Xenu, are the messengers of the Church of Xenu--their mission is to set the record straight. It is a loosely organized group: Anyone who helps set the record straight may call themselves Knights of Xenu, and members of the Church of Xenu. And, of course, as Church members, they may not be frivolously sued for their religious activities, or beliefs.
By definition, anyone who is opposed to oppression, or the victimization of persons; animals, and all creatures, are Xenologists. (What do the FOP$ have as a membership? Maybe, 50,000 at best? 9999^99/10,0000^99 (or better), of the galactic universe are Xenologists! And have been - even before the beginning of time. Wow! Is there any wonder that there is _so much_ ALPHA - ("entheta" to the FOP$) - out there!
If Phatmanotoo, was ruled in court to be "a virtual pathological liar", (Judge Breckenridge, Armstrong Decision), then wouldn't "entheta" really be the truth? The Knights of Xenu are by definition - and viewed with hatred by FOP$ (Followers of Phatmanotoo) - to be "entheta". What FOP$ call entheta, is our basic, whole religious beliefs system. We believe entheta to be "Alpha" - Truth, the beginning or first of everything. The Cosmos cannot truly be fair to nature and spirits, unless that which is first and beginning, is the TRUTH.
AND NOT HALF-TRUTH!!!
Our spiritual beings are referred to as "Alphians". Xenu was the first Alphian. These are the basic tenets of the Church of Xenology, Xenologists, and messengered by the Knights of Xenu, (KoX). The FOP$ crazy ideas - "The Fopi$$ity" (Their whole, and total belief system) is "Enalpha".
Now, lets all join in to set the record straight, and rewrite the history of Xenu correctly. All good men inherently know the History - it comes to them through divine inspiration. LET IT FLOW!
BTW, They will speak against us Xenologists, and we will "turn the other cheek". However, the FOP$ have said they are not a "turn-the-other-cheek religion". If, fact they may take ACTION, and commit ACTS of religious hatred directed at the Knights and Xenologists. For Example they may inflict mayhem upon us by the use of a private investigator dirtier-than-dung, with absolutely no conscience at all. This would be an ACT of religious hatred, and is quite illegal.
Join us. Affix (KoX) to your signature. Think of it as a cross to repel blood-sucking-vampires-that-prey-on-the-weak. (And, catch Tom Cruise as "Lestat" the vampire - coming soon to a theatre near you.)
Welcome all yea Knights!
CO XMO B1, Knights of Xenu (KoX) Jerry Ladd (Xenologist [a "religion"] since 1989) "Everything must go." - Wild Palms