+-------------------------------------+ Now we all know that Bookmark-flyer tech is sly (and economical too).

Ghandi tech will get you an A+ in ethics.

Picketing tech is bumpin' street theater.
BUT ! New research PROVES that
-------------------------------- => _NEW_LAUNDROMAT_TECH_ <= (1) --------------------------------
is the fast, safe, *low-risk* plan that you can use yourself ---------------------- to inoculate the body public against the pain and heartbreak of common Hubbardism -> while it cleans your jeans <- -> at the very same time! <-
YES Even if you only lurk!

Even if you're afraid to speak in public!

Even if you've never enslaved a population!
--------------------------------------------- Even if you've never been suppressive before!

---------------------------------------------

H E R E ' S H O W I T W O R K S
New research (2) *proves* that laundromat users ---------------- are the perfect audience for memetic inoculation:

------------------------------------------------ * young -- includes a high proportion of intelligent, idealistic, and impressionable college students.

* bored * are a captive audience -- your targets -> cannot leave the laundromat <- until the end of the spin cycle, or until they run out of quarters.

(Drying times may vary.)

* are already staring at the same tired old flyers about missing cats and firewood for sale on the same old bulletin board.

* are looking for something amusing.
_and_that's_where_New_Laundromat_Tech_comes_in_!

A Perfect Opportunity Yes, *you* *can* reach this unique audience, every time, at low cost and even lower risk, to help stamp out the disease of Hubbardism, whenever and wherever it occurs, and to help prevent the spread of memetic infection.
Just Follow These Simple Steps:

New! Use the Power of the Internet!

1. Simply follow the links below and print out our _Classics Of Suppression_, (_proven_effective_ in years of independent testing).

2. Make copies.

3. Then, apply sensational _NEW_LAUNDROMAT_TECH_ (1).

It's easy!

=> Go to any laundromat, anywhere.

=> Using pushpins, thumbtacks, tape, or old bubble gum, attach one or more items from the Joking and Degrading category to the bulletin board, wall, window, or laundry soap vending machine.

=> Finally, tastefully arrange two or more items from the Substantive Criticism category wherever people sit -- on tables, chairs, on window ledges -- anywhere!
That's it! Now you can sit back and relax while New Laundromat Tech goes to work.
Our Eeeevil Galactic Marcabian Psych Overlords will send _BIG_Minton_Bucks_ _right_to_your_mailbox_! (3)
---------------------------------------------------------------- ANYONE CAN DO IT!
CAN'T USE THE INTERNET?

< then how are you reading this? >

YOU CAN STILL USE NEW LAUNDROMAT TECH !

In the privacy of your own home, neatly print the following message on a blank sheet of ordinary ruled paper:
+----------------------------------------------------------------+ | | | | | Scientology Explained | | --------------------- | | | | Stage 1: Dianetics | | | | Your life is a mess, because bad memories | | ("engrams") are holding you back. | | | | Stage 2: Scientology | | | | Your life is still a mess, because engrams from | | all your past lives are holding you back. | | | | Stage 3: Scientology's Secret Operating Thetan Levels: | | ------ | | Your life is still a mess, because engrams from | | the spirits of billions of dead space aliens, | | stuck all over your body, are holding you back. | | (Shhhh. It's a secret.) | | ------ | | | | "It works for me, and that's what counts. | | Give us cash in large amounts." R. Piskenvaugh | | | | | +----------------------------------------------------------------+ then follow the directions for Joking and Degrading, above.
STILL too much work? DON'T GIVE UP !

Take any denomination of currency from your purse or wallet, and using a ballpoint or other indelible pen, neatly and legibly print www.modemac.com/cos/ in the top margin on the front side, and www.xenu.net in the bottom margin on the back side.
Then *spend* the money, _any_way_you_like_.

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST SUCCESSFULLY USED **> NEW LAUNDROMAT TECH <**
---------------------------------------------------------- New Laundromat Tech Classics of Suppression ----------------------- Please choose:

_at_least_one_ from group A, "Joking and Degrading"

_at_least_two_ from group B, "Substantive Criticism"
Group A: Joking and Degrading ------------------------------ Insane Cult http://www.xs4all.nl/~xemu/flyers/Cult.html Space Alien Scam http://www.xs4all.nl/~xemu/flyers/Scam.html Xenu http://www.xs4all.nl/~xemu/flyers/Xenu.html
Group B: Substantive Criticism ------------------------------- Bogus Science http://wpxx02.toxi.uni-wuerzburg.de/~cowen/essays/radiation.html Bodies in Pawn: Clams, Marcabs, etc.

http://wpxx02.toxi.uni-wuerzburg.de/~cowen/essays/marcabs.html Narconon http://wpxx02.toxi.uni- wuerzburg.de/~cowen/essays/narconon/narconon.html Religion or Intelligence Agency http://www.entheta.net/entheta/go/berlin.html We Remember Lisa http://www.xs4all.nl/~xemu/flyers/Lisa.html Tonja's Story http://www.xs4all.nl/~xemu/flyers/Tonja.html No Christ http://www.xmission.com/~mirele/chrs0f81.pdf Breaking the Law http://www.scientology-lies.com/fliers/breakingthelaw.pdf Hurts People http://www.scientology-lies.com/fliers/scnhurtspeople.pdf Judges http://www.scientology-lies.com/fliers/judges.pdf Costs a Mint http://www.scientology-lies.com/fliers/mint.pdf Learn More http://holysmoke.org/cos/about-scientology.htm Ex-Scientologist Speaks http://www.arscc-atl.com/leaflets/cogs.txt NY Times 1997 http://wpxx02.toxi.uni-wuerzburg.de/~cowen/essays/mytimes.html Delphi Schools http://www.ecentral.com/members/skeller/AEK0100DEL.htm Boston Herald 1998 http://www.bostonherald.com/scientology/ Time Magazine 1991 http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Fishman/time-behar.html L.A. Times 1990 http://www.cs.cmu.edu/People/dst/Library/Shelf/la90/ Readers Digest 1981 http://www.xenu.org/factnet/GEN/FILES/MEDIA01/METHVIN2.TXT L.A. Times 1978 http://www.rpi/net.au/~marina/latimes/index.htm
---------------------------------------------------------------- UNSOLICITED TESTIMONIALS:
"Wow, man. This _is_ some weird shit. Dig: Xenu, man.

Galactic Overlord stuff. UN BE fucking LIEVABLE, man."

Z. Harris La Honda CA "New Laundromat Tech helped clear up my annoying rectal itch."

D.M. Hemet CA "Hey there brothah -- Who you jivin' with that Cosmic Debris?

Hey there brothah -- Don't you waste your time on me."

F. Z. Dental Floss, MT "I'm still dead."

L.R.H Burning in Hell "Who pays you? What are your crimes?"

V. K. Toronto Canada "MOO-haa-haaaaaaa!"

Xenu Las Palmas
----------------------------------------------------------------
MEET DOCTOR SNAV the tireless researcher who developed New Laundromat Tech Lifetime President of Orville K. Snav and Associates, Dr. Orville K. Snav is a contributing editor of the _Wretched_Mess_News_, West Yellowstone, MT.

His many innovations include:

* the original improved buNab #7, (as seen in Popular Photography);

* buNab #5, for those critical between-shave moments;

* zuDirk, the game craze that's sweeping Shopper's Lane * breakthrough long-playing LP record "Music To Watch TV By"

Since 1960, Orville K. Snav and Associates have provided "Aids to Nicer Living"

from our office in the upstairs back bedroom.
------------------------------------------------------------------------ (1) "Laundromat Tech" is an unregistered trademark of Too-Chicken-To-Picket Enterprises, Inc., Teegeack
(2) "Cross-cultural correlation between memetic susceptibility and enforced boredom"

O. Snav et. al., Jour. Marcab. Psych. Enslavement, Stardate 9712.1001.513, Marcab Univ. Press, Sector 9
(3) Prozac will be shipped via Marcabian Ground Transport.

While relativistic effects mean that your shipment will *actually* arrive within minutes, expect *subjective* delays of three to five centuries for delivery.

Offer subject to price and availability.

Eternal batteries not included.

Void where prohibited.

With questions, contact Headquarters and HQ Battery ATTN: Paymaster / Disbursments Fifth Marcabian Expeditionary Force Planet 2, Fomalhaut System Galactic Sector 9
New Laundromat Tech is not connected or affiliated in any way with Blue Laundry Balls ----------- UN-altered DISSEMINATION and REPRODUCTION of this IMPORTANT information is ENCOURAGED.

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