[Note for non-Brits: this article comes from Private Eye, a long-running British satirical magazine. It relates to Jonathan Aitken, a Cabinet minister in the last Tory administration who in 1999 was jailed for perjury. He has now written a deeply self-serving autobiography called "Pride and Perjury", in which he claims to have now become a born-again Christian and prays for the tarnished souls of his media critics. The article also makes mention of Neil Hamilton, another former Tory MP who was found guilty of accepting bribes from the owner of Harrods, and Jeffery Archer, the novelist and former Tory candidate for Mayor of London, who dropped out of the mayoral race earlier this year after being exposed for telling lies in a 1980s court case.] PRIVATE EYE, 7 April 2000, p. 23 Have You Found Salvation? asks L. Ron Aitken, Chief Minister of the Church of Lientology SINNERS! You too can experience the joys of repentance and forgiveness through the wise words of L. Ronathan Aitken:

"Brothers and sisters! I confess before Almighty God that I too once did wrong - but not really. And I was made to pay the price.

Now I am asking you to pay the price too. Only £99.99, from the Daily Telegraph Book Club. (Surely "Crook Blub"? Ed.) Send now for your copy of my personal testament 'I Am The Way, The Truth and The Lie' by L. Ron Aitken."

[box] Some testimony from fellow Lientologists N. Hamilton writes: "Like L. Ron I was innocent and the media crucified me. But since I discovered L. Ron's path to money and being on television, I am once again happy.

J. Archer writes: "Like L. Ron I did nothing wrong and the media ruined my life. All I did was tell a few lies. But now thanks to the Church of Lientology, I realise I was telling the truth all along.

Now you too can walk with your head held high, thanks to the greatest religious teacher since the Rev. Sun K. Moon.

-- | Chris Owen - chriso@OISPAMNOlutefisk.demon.co.uk | |---------------------------------------------------------------| | THE TRUTH ABOUT L. RON HUBBARD AND THE UNITED STATES NAVY | | http://www.ronthewarhero.org |

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