OSA IN HELL, PART 8:
THE PRINCE SET UP
Camera pans in to see DM and RTC reps passed out with flames burning around them. Lying on top of DM is a fax from JT saying "The deal is OFF!"

Flames are a burning and the Devil is roasting marshmallows on Rienders balls..

Mike R wakes up screaming: "what the fuck are you doing??>>?:

Devil: Roasting My Marshmallows on the smallest weakest flammable object around: your balls~ laughing..

DM wakes up, covered in soot, and stands wiping off the soot off his fax.

"DAMN! How can JT fuck me like this? What does he mean..'the deal is off?"

Devil eating a marshmallow smiles and flicks one onto DM saying: "another 'OT celebrity parishioner', Commondooooor? Bwahahahahahahah".

DM cringes and wipes off the marshmallow, shooting dirty look at his RTC "juniors". "I told JT if he would pay to set up Prince for us, we would make him a total star with "Battlefield Gurth".

Devil shoots a smile at the gang. "Like I said before,,,you Scientologists.especially you 'executives' are MADE for HELL!~ This is some of the best material I have had down here in years. I have met some of the slimiest people from Earth.and few come close to you all when it comes to out and out evil. Even I remain amazed at some of the stuff you will pull, and the things you will say.and I am the Devil!"

Enters Ben Shaw..stumbling into Hell with Helena Kobrin hanging onto him screaming "OUCH! Oh Bennnn this is Horrible!! What could we possibly have done to deserve THIS???"

Ben: " Just shut the fuck up, we are near DM and even though in Hell, he keeps logs of whatever is said, and whomever is whining. Don't say a word about us fucking up with Prince!" Panting as flames shoot around him.

DM: Coughing and jumping to avoid the flames says loudly, "Prince? Did I hear Jessie's Name? Is that bastard nailed to the cross yet? Don't even come into here unless you are here to tell me the PI"s are fully paid off with the Sea Org reserves, and all is under control"~ Devil: "Under control? You morons are in Hell and you are still trying to screw with people's lives? You don't get it do you! For every (EVERY) single time you hurt another person, you get 10,000 *years here in HELL. Kicks back his feet and kicks DM in the nuts. Who do you think you are dummy?"

DM: Bends over, holding his tiny nuts,,,,screeches and then coughs but tries to stand up quickly and look assertive. Bending still, he feebly says to Helena (who is laughing) "fuck you bitch!"

Devil: Laughing - I love your "ARC' Hubbard wrote about. You all set such wonderful examples of this, especially with each other".

DM and RTC gang: grumbling, slugging at each other:

DM:"Ok.let's get back to the point. Damn it is hard to hold a conversation with flames shooting out my ass! Can ya turn this shit down? Ok.so what the fuck happened with Prince? Did you effectively pay off the PI's and get them not to talk??

Helena hides behind some piles of soot.

DM: "Helena?"

Helena: coughing.choking.swatting her face.."oh Hell. NO! The damned PI's not only talked,,,,fucking Ben Shaw screwed it up so badly the damned St.

Pete Times wrote the entire <coughing> story up!"

Devil: Stretching out next to Helena, the Devil shoots some more flames at her: "you kids sure are a great team! What was it Flubbard said about teamwork? Fuck the team..win! Guess ya missed there again, huh?

DM: "WHAT??? BEN! Get over here~!

Devil: "Hey pal (flicking another marshmallow in DM's face),.you keep forgetting. You may have been MR. Tyrannical Man running Scientology, but you're in Hell, now. And as things go, you're here for a LONG time pal..so you better get used to NOT runnin the show. Welcome to Slavecamp for Jagg off's. It's a special little Hell we put fellows like you in. Your day is coming soon."

DM: cringes, and shoots snide looks as what used to be his juniors.

RTC reps, Ben Shaw and Helena all hopping about panting,,,,are sort of happy the devil hates DM. Finally they might get away from him, even if they are in HEll.

DM whispers to Mike Riender :" Well, somehow we gotta get a Hell fax to JT to pay him to help screw Jessie Prince. I know we are in Hell, but that cat knows too much! His knowledge could single handedly bring down Scientology if people find out what we REALLY did.and I am (shhhhh.don't say a word..)

counting on some of the fat cats up at Gold to get us outta this joint".

Devil <spits> "whispering? Ohhhhh Deeeee eeemmmmmmm. Mr. Creep of the ceeeeeeeennnnnturyyyyyyyyy. You are in Hell.whispering behind MY back???

Jack: give him the FULL BLAST for 1 hour~~~"

Camera pans out with Jack dragging DM off screeching as flames come shooting out all sides of him..."ouuuuuuuuuuuch call JTTTTTTTTTTT.you mother-fuckers will pay for this if you don't take Prince down. I don't give a shit about the US of A legal system. We can take um downnnnnnn if this jackass will get the Hell fax to him. Remember, lie, steal, cheat! Do whatever you have to.

Get the CW people to think badly of Jessie.for starters." As flames burst out all around them..

Devil sits with feet up on Reinder.."what was that about 'cause over life ol boy? Ya want a marshmallow and a cream soda before you get gassed again?

Shall I recite the Way to Happiness principles to you jerks who made all those Doctors pay for that crap?"

MR cringes.

Camera goes black. Screeching is heard in the background.

To be continued...

Brought to you by Magoo, INC
Magoo was a Scientologist for 30 years. She left last July. Since then this same group who she had loyally supported, and paid over $200,000 to, has declared her what they call a Suppressive Person (or SP). They consider an SP to be worse than the devil.so Magoo has decided to write these skits about the devil. It is a combination of part fiction, mostly based on truth, and the names are the same to give credit where credit is due. Hope you enjoy them!

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