Newsday wrote an article talking about all the UFO-believing religions, but forgot that Scientology is the most fascinating UFO religion of all!

<http://www.newsday.com/news/yahoo/ny-p2top23106377jan29,0,4292995.story>

Those other religions (Heaven's Gate, Raelians, Aetherius Society, Urantia) talk of there being UFOs observing and visiting us, but only Scientology believes that WE OURSELVES are alien beings and are brainwashed so we don't realize it! Now come on, that's the most interesting UFO theory of all!

You and I are alien beings. We were living on our own planets somewhere in a group of 76 nearby ones, hanging around minding our own business.

Vastly powerful, immortal, with full control over matter, energy, space and time, we existed under the rule of the interplanetary leader named Xenu.

Xenu was about to be unelected, and he decided to go out big time, while solving the huge overpopulation problem simultaneously. One day, you and I get called in for a tax audit. When we come in, we get kidnapped! Shot up, froxen, boxed up, loaded onto space planes, we are shipped to a desolate prision planet, known then as Teegeeak, (sp?) now called Earth.

Chained together by electronic ribbons, placed at volcanos, we are rocked and socked by electricity and H-Bomb dropped into the volcanos, exploding them and blowing our minds.

Zonked, dazed and confused, our minds are refilled with visions of Xenu's choosing by being forced to watch huge ultra-realistic 3D movies for weeks on end, ala Clockwork Orange. Evil cruel images abound, images of mortality, limited lifetimes, needing bodies, surgery, crucifixion and torture, and all the worst trappings of miserable humanity. Yecch!

Our past existence, our godlike powers are all subsumed, forgotten. We think we are mortal, sickly, ugly bags of mostly water, human or worse.

Our real selves are incorporeal. But we think we need bodies, so many of us hooked onto some of the native creatures of the planet - human bodies. We took over those animals, and think we ARE the humans. But it's a cruel trap. Our meat bodies die, and after a relatively short regrooving session on Mars, Venus or other reimplantation station, we come back to occupy another body. Lifetime after lifetime, we lead false lives, the real us dormant and miserable, our minds tormented and abberated by the ALIEN MIND IMPLANTS of Xenu called R6 or Incident II.

What a catastrophe.

Our minds are not our own. They are reactive to things we don't understand. We react like clockwork to R6. The design of our towns, our clothes, our houses, our movie theaters, our airplanes all echo images implanted in us by that bastard Xenu. Bits and pieces of things from R6 seep into our heads, our very culture.

For example, one time, about 600BC, some guy picked up on a few chunks of R6, perhaps by watching some madmen or somethng. Visions of an everyman being crucified, tortured, it got all mixed up, it got misunderstood, and long story short, it turned into the story of Jesus Christ. It's funny. The entirety of Roman Catholicism is a delusion, it's totally bogus! Oh, there may have been a Jesus, maybe he was a great teacher, a good guy, but the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of Man saviour? Gimme a break! It's Xenu, you poor slobs! Misunderstood chunks of Xenu's R6, abberating your brain, misleading you stoopids!

There's the truth. It's awesome. And terrible. Is there no answer to this?

Enter L. Ron Hubbard. Thank Goodness! As a natural lifelong genius, one of the great minds of all time, he was able to slowly unravel this amazing history. Doing so was even more dangerous than you think. R6 itself is booby trapped. For example, you think the story I just told you is bullshit, don't you. That's R6! It turns you away from the truth!

And if you get too far into unravelling the truth, bad images kick in, you feel sick, you feel wrong, you don't want to continue, you refuse to believe. But somehow, Hubbard made it through. Ever see that movie, Forbidden Planet? Dr. Morbius finds a fearsomely strong mind booster device left by an ancient, powerful past civilization. Everyone who tries the mind booster dies from its overpowering, uh, power. But Dr.

Morbius gives it a shot and though he barely makes it, makes it he does, and he learns the amazing and terrible secrets of the Krell. It's like that. Dr. Hubbard was able to handle the challenge of unravelling the truth about this planet, the catastrophe that put us into our current pathetic state.

And, bliss! LRH was able to figure out how to undo it! HE learned the Xenu sorty, and more.

There's six billion humans on Earth, but hundreds of billions of us were kidnapped and brought here. Some of us glommed on to humans, but where's the rest? Well, some of us got so zapped we think we are animals, human body parts, even thoughts themselves like sicknesses or concepts. And since we tend to cluster into groups, many of them have hooked into each of us! You are not a human. You are an incorporeal being, a soul if you will, that thinks it needs a body. But you are not alone. Other beings of lesser ambitions are also hooked into you, thinking they are your arm, your lung, your lung cancer, your bad eyesight... And all these other voices ring in your mind, abberating you further. Let's face it, you're a mess!

What to do? LRH came up with the answer, a way to clear our minds of insane reactions, and of the other ALIEN BEINGS infesting us. Once you get your own self cleared of the effects of R6 and other mental implants, you need to exorcise those other guys, those "body thetans"

infesting you. It's a long process. LRH founded an organization to handle this, and developed an device that helps diagnose, treat, cure, and prevent further intrusion of these forces ripping at you. You feel better, you feel healthy, you feel immortal, your godlike powers can ultimately reemerge, you can finally get back to the real you, get back yout TOTAL FREEDOM from implants, regain your power over matter, energy, space and time.

It's a great goal, clearing the planet, all beings on this planet, undoing the catastrophe that has chained us for so long. A noble goal.

How can you get clear of the yoke? Join Scientology. Purchase a basic course that shows you the barest beginning, the "engrams" thoughts in your childhood that affect you in unexpected ways today. Much later, you can buy courses that show you you have past lives, and thoughts in those can be cleared too. Much later after that, you can, with a little more cash, learn the terrible and awesome story of Xenu and how to exircize those body thetans. Much later, you can, for another wad of gelt, learn how to exorcize those other thetans that were sleeping the first time around. And later, for a vast flow of moolah, you can learn how to get those other ones that were missed. And after that... well, you'll find out.

You see, there is a hitch. I told you about the booby traps in our ALIEN MIND IMPLANT. You just don't believe this crap I told you above. That's the trap! So how does a person get convinced they need these procedures to free them? Well, it turns out the best way, in fact the only way, is to trick you. To lie to you. No Scientologist is EVER, EVER going to hit you with the truth, the story of Xenu, right off. No, you are asked to participate in a little pop psychology, not a religion or anything, but a science, a modern science of mental health. You must be prepared, you must be given the truth on a gradient a tiny chunk at a time. It's part of LRH's genius, the technique of tricking and lying to people to save them, to save this very planet. It's the only way. But it's a just cause, saving hundreds of billions of beings. The most just cause of all. And as a creed of the Scientologist says, you must never fear to hurt another in a just cause.

So come on, Newsday, you must agree that Scientology is the most interesting UFO religion of all!

-- LYING IS A SCIENTOLOGY SACRAMENT ASK THEM ABOUT XENU Mike O'Connor <http://www.leptonicsystems.com/>

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