My experiences as a scientologist and then as a member of the Sea Organization were nightmarish at best. Once I had been lied to and pushed and closed until I eventually agreed to join the Sea Org, the nightmare truly began. Most of what I thought about, on a day to day basis, was how to leave. However, the Sea Org makes it difficult to leave. You have to go on a long "routing-out form" which involves humiliation, long "security checks" and months of being watched and doing "mest" work (slave labour). Once you do get out, beleive me, life feels wonderful. For an organization that preaches that it has the only way to set man free, freedom is not something you ever experience when a member.

Every morning at muster we had to drill the demonic words of Hubbard over and over. "If you do not follow this chance of freedom that we now have, you will be killed and killed and killed." I do not remember the exact quote, but it is to the effect that if you don't follow Scientology, you will go from lifetime to lifetime just getting killed over and over. I thought at the time these people are alll crazy fanatic nutcases. Is this kind of chanting brain washing or not? I felt back in the dark ages.

The level of fanaticism was amazing, utter one word of cricism or counter intention and you were send to ethics, where you would be treated with contempt and made to work through the conditions. Eventually your mindset becomes, that you will be a "believer" and then you will be accepted and all will be ok. But that little voice at the back of your mind says, these people are crazy fanatics.

Thanks to a sane family upbringing and a good education I could no longer suppress my own common sense and had to get out and away. But there are many Sea Org members who themselves become fanatics. Others just kind of slip into a lifetime of apathy and blind obedience. It still continues to blow my mind that this is all done by an organization that claims it is bringing freedom to mankind. If you love your children, don't let them near the Sea Organization

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