http://home.snafu.de/tilman/mystory/ariane10.txt From: Ariane&Alex JACKSON <106231.2751@compuserve.com>
Date: Sun, 27 Oct 1996 19:21:51 -0500
I wish to explain why I was attracted to the Scientology cult's center in Clearwater, Florida, known as Flag Service Organization, INC., (Flag), the promises that were made, by Hubbard, concerning the benefits to be obtained, the claims concerning the purity of the "technology" and the ease and inevitability with which these benefits would be achieved by myself WHATEVER I DID AND WHATEVER CONDITION I WAS IN.

I will also include some data "proven conclusively" by Hubbard showing that any failure on my part to achieve the promised benefits CANNOT POSSIBLY BE MY FAULT, but is a reflection of, and direct result of, the "lazyness", "dishonesty", "fakery"

(his words) and general incompetence and professional negligence of the Flag staff members responsible for my "auditing". These staff are supposed to be the best on the planet and that's why I paid over $1,000 an hour for the "privilege" of being "audited" by them!

My ex-husband, the late Albert Jaquier, was also "cared for" by these people, received an extremely large number of hours of auditing, gave millions to them, and gave them EVERY opportunity to deliver the promised results. It is obvious from what Albert wrote and his untimely death at the age of 59 that he not only did not achieve the results he had been promised, but he considered he was in fact damaged, and ultimately destroyed, by his experiences.

Albert and I moved to Clearwater to be able to intensively work at receiving the auditing, to be free of distractions, to be able to follow the directions of the staff at Flag and be available on a full-time basis TO ENSURE THAT WE DID ALL WE COULD TO ACHIEVE THE RESULTS. I went all the way to OT8 costing around $470,000, I did L Rundowns, I did almost 2 years of training as an auditor, I audited myself for 1,000 hours on OT7, I gave up the care of my children so I could be more dedicated to Scientology and more. Albert did all the way to OT7, L's, gave millions, gave donations, gave unsecured loans never repaid, and ultimately gave everything he had including his life.

I came to Flag because in Geneva and in Paris, the organizations were not impressive, results were really non-existent, few or downright bad. My ex-husband Jean-Francois Paris was convinced by "auditing" that he was Christ reincarnated and proceeded to go around and "find" his 12 disciples. He used to go to graveyards and speak with the spirits of the dead. He could not keep a job or support our children.

Hubbard admitted that that kind of situation occurs, my explanations in brackets. Because of his excessive use of jargon, it may be difficult to understand. Anyone desiring clarification can contact me and I will try to explain it.

(quote) "...in some local areas [ie. Paris, Geneva etc.] where verbal tech [interpretation and alteration of Hubbard's "sacred scriptures" which supposedly is the only reason Scientology ever fails to produce the spectacular results promised] gets going and ethics is out [ "bad" people are allowed to do "bad"

things] , the quality sags. And there you have NCGs [No Case Gains--People who do not become euphoric and claim to be "better" as a result of Scientology, but have the courage to state the truth that it did not work in their case] and slow pcs [preclear--person being audited] and "failed cases"

[individuals who do not achieve the results promised such as ability to control life and the physical universe with mental power alone, ESP, physical health and freedom from ever being sick, perfect memory, happiness, success in all areas of one's life, prosperity, miracles, total freedom, etc., etc., etc.]."

(end of quote) I was persuaded to come to Flag by what Hubbard wrote about it.

Here are some examples. (quote) "Flag is the top tech [technical--ie auditing] org [organization] of the world and if they can't do it nobody can.

"What you pay for at Flag is the most expert C/Sing [adjudication of what "type" of auditing is done] for the best rundowns [auditing supposedly resolving a specific problem with names like "Prosperity", "Purification", "Happiness", "New Vitality", "Student Booster". The names are surveyed and designed to convey the idea of a promised result] by the best auditors in the world."(end of quote) In promotion Flag is usually described by Hubbard and others with the use of superlatives. (another Hubbard quote) "Flag runs on the basis of results or else so far as their tech stuff is concerned. The words "failed case" do not exist on Flag. Therefore they have rundowns and handlings to untangle the most tangled and get it going again." (end of quote) If the words "failed case" do not exist on Flag, what do they call what happened with Albert and me? Success? (I am sure they have other words they use to describe me now).

We came to Flag because Hubbard PROMISED us results, without any qualifications, reservations or exceptions. The CofS can try to claim full disclosure on places like Paris and Geneva, but when it comes to Flag the claims and promises are without any exclusions. No one ever told Albert and me that the possibility existed that we could come to Flag, give all our time and money, be miserable, divorce, be sick, bankrupt, destitute, suicidal, fight, die, etc. In fact the things that Hubbard promised never occur at Flag are exactly what did occur and worse. Albert was better off before Scientology and so was I. We were better off before coming to Flag.

Some more quotes by Hubbard. After, I will name the staff at Flag involved with Albert and myself. Almost all of these staff are still actively involved at Flag in the same or similar capacities. (quote) "There are no failed cases. There are only failed C/Ses [staff members directing the type of auditing to be done on someone] and auditors.

"In a recent test, this was proven conclusively. A number of no-case-gain, slow-case-gain, sickie and "failed cases" were rounded up. Using well-trained Flag auditors and the most basic of lists [list of reasons for problems in auditing], every one of these cases was soon flying." (end of quote) (another quote) "The source of out-tech [anything other than perfect application of Scientology producing the promised results] is only laziness and dishonesty. Someone who is afraid of work thinks he can PR [speak about how good he is] the C/S and the pc, fumble his way through and succeed out of fakery. That route is failure. And it ends in "failed cases." Don't be a psychologist or psychiatrist. That was their route.

"In the hands of a thoroughly trained and drilled auditor, Scientology works and works splendidly.

"There are no dog cases [person dificult to audit], no "NCGS,"

no failed cases.

"But there are "auditors" who don't study and drill hard enough to become real auditors. And there are C/Ses who don't know their business and who don't keep up their study and are too lazy to FES [list out the errors perpetrated by auditors] or read sessions or cram their auditors."(end of quote) (another quote) "Want to know how lazy your C/Ses and auditors are? How many NCGS and failed cases do you have around? If you have any at all, tech in your area is out."(end of quote) (yet more--quote) "So do not send to find the real who [person responsible for a bad situation] when cases bog or "fail." Don't blame and repair cases. Repair the auditors and C/Ses."(end of quote) Here is the list of the "psychiatrists" and "psychologists" who "C/Sed" and "audited" Albert and me. Actually, according to Hubbard they must have just been pretending to audit and C/S.

If they really had, now we would be "flying". The results were promised, top dollar and more was paid, Hubbard admits Albert and I are blameless, and the results were not delivered.

Hubbard, in that way, indicts the following staff, and the Flag Service Organization, Inc., which received and retained the money, for the "fakery" involved.

Alain Kartuzinsky, Class 12. Audited Albert a great deal.

Richard Reiss, Class 12.

Lisa Rentchler, Class 12. Audited both Albert and me a great deal.

Myriam Stave, Class 12.

Paula Zulli, Class 9.

Peter Buttery, Class 12.

Alan Stave, Class 12.

Malin Gelfan, Class 12.

Nieves Gellie, Class 9.

Sherry Rabey, Class 12.

Susi Tschupp, Class 9.

Jan Norton, Class 9.

Jerome Bloom, Class 12.

John Eastment, Class 12.

Hubbard closed the door on any possibility of excusing the absence of results on Albert and me, or blaming it on us.

According to him, if the staff listed above had not been lazy and dishonest, there would have been no "out-tech" and Albert and I would have been happy, healthy, successful, cause over life, etc., etc.

When I was on staff at Flag in 1992, my job was to look for the errors perpetrated by auditors that resulted in all the problems experienced by OT8s. A fad at that time with Peter Buttery, the C/S, was to look and verify if the person had actually gone Clear before doing all the OT Levels. Yet Hubbard claims if you receive the data of OT3 before you are ready, it will kill you. Buttery was finding OT8s who were, according to him, not Clear. The adjudication of whether someone is Clear or not is done by the C/S and if he says someone is Clear who is not, it is his responsibility. It was when I saw the extent of failures of Scientology to work as evidenced by the number of OT8s with serious problems, that I began to really question the validity of the whole operation.

The above quotes cover absence of results. I will now quote Hubbard on the destructive aspects of badly done auditing, since, according to Hubbard, that is apparently what Albert and I mainly received. My use of this quote is not in any way to be construed as an acceptance or endorsement of Hubbard's views on what he calls "missed withholds" and what he claims are the results of auditors missing withholds on pcs. Neither is it an admission that I have any. I am simply demonstrating that Hubbard admitted that the type of auditing we received was destructive. A missed withhold, according to Hubbard, is something the pc [person being audited] is afraid will be discovered about him, and he thinks may have been discovered.

It is not necessarily deliberately and knowingly concealed by the pc, he may have forgotten it. The E-meter is supposedly used to assist the *pc* to find the missed withholds. Hubbard also exonerates the pc on this point. Even if the pc tries to knowingly, consciously, and deliberately withhold something, it is the auditor's responsibility to "get the withhold", the pc CANNOT be blamed. In his enthusiasm to hype up himself and his "technology", Hubbard painted himself into a corner.

(quote) "As one of the most destructive things an auditor can do is miss a withhold on a pc, and as missing a withhold stems exactly from being inexpert, out-metering [faulty use of E-meter], out-TRs [bad communication by auditor] or mutual out-ruds [auditor and pc share secrets from, problems or upsets with, the rest of the group], and as pcs and staff can blow [leave without permission] and cause a great deal of trouble when withholds have been missed in Sec Checking or Confessionals [both terms mean the action of asking with the meter for actions, thoughts, intentions, etc., that are destructive, embarassing or pose a risk to Scientology], the penalty for missing a withhold on a pc is as follows:" [severe penalty described that includes full restudy of all courses auditor has done].(end of quote) (later in the same issue he says--quote) "If this order is not vigourously enforced, lack of enforcement will end up destroying lives..."(end of quote).

According to Hubbard, the auditors who audited Albert and me MUST have "missed withholds" on us. If they had not we would not have blown, been critical, etc. For the penalty to be applied to a Class 12 would require years of restudy. I wonder how vigourously the order was enforced. Hubbard says missed withholds destroy lives. Albert was critical, proving, according to Hubbard, that he had missed withholds, he was ruined physically, personally and financially, he was audited at Flag days before he died, he is now dead. Is this an example of what Hubbard was referring to?.

Albert and I were not informed that the possibility existed that the auditors would "miss withholds" with the result that our lives would be destroyed. We were told they never do that on Flag.

Another destructive effect that Hubbard admits is produced by bad auditing is called "the sad effect". It is defined by Hubbard as "a state of great sadness, apathy, misery and desire for suicide and death" . From reading Albert's diary it seems likely that he experienced that. I know I did.

On my OT Levels I experienced other very destructive effects, some of which I have still not fully recognised and certainly not recovered from.

The actual levels themselves are part of a whole package which includes the Eligibility steps and "ethics actions". Before each level the person has to be Sec Checked about their actions, thoughts and intentions concerning Scientology and other things. The results of the Sec Check are given to the "Ethics Officer" who then questions the person about what he has done to "repair" the damage he has caused. As the person goes up to higher levels these Ethics "handlings" become more severe.

On OT 1 and OT 2, I was not aware of major changes in my personality. I still knew what I wanted and knew what was right for me and what was true. No one could make me agree with them if I disagreed. I could still think quickly. On OT 3, when I first studied about BT's, I became very angry and I told Albert, my husband at the time, that I did not see how it would help me with the problems I had in my life. Albert told me to shut up or I would get in trouble. While I was auditing myself on OT 3, I reached the point where I thought I had finished after auditing myself for 17 hours, but the C/S did not agree.

Normally, I should have been told within an hour or so that I was finished, but I was made to wait all day, with a bad headache, and I was only allowed to finish because my ex-husband, Albert, who had a lot of money, spoke to the C/S. I returned to Switzerland the next day.

The next time I went to Flag, I thought I would begin OT 4, but I was told I had to go back on OT 3. I disagreed. They put me on "old OT 7" without telling me what it was. [When someone does not find enough BT's on OT 3 he is put on old OT 7 and then back to do more OT 3.] I finished the old OT 7 and was told I had to go back on OT 3. I disagreed. I was sent to see a salesman who told me I should get Class 12 auditing, [which is much more expensive]. The Class 12 auditor made me reread the pack of materials on OT 3 while on the E-meter for about 7 hours at $1,000 an hour. For 10 days they tried to persuade me to do more OT 3 and I continued to say no. So they let me do OT 4. I finished OT 4 and was sure I would begin OT 5. The same Class 12 took me and unexpectedly announced I was going back on OT 3. I just crashed. I cried and could not stop crying. They kept showing me this sentence written by Hubbard that said I was afraid of BT's and that's why I did not want to continue.

In this way I was forced to not only accept the delusions of Hubbard concerning myself and my mind but any correct ideas that I had about myself were destroyed. After that I questioned myself, my sanity, my level of consciousness, my courage, my decisions and my honesty. I no longer could think quickly but had difficulty with decisions and started to ask others what I should do. I felt stupid and shallow and afraid. I started to act the way they had persuaded me I was and stopped acting the way I really was. I never recovered and today I still suffer the effects of this.

Other changes I noticed were that I became more and more withdrawn, afraid to do or say something that would make someone write a report on me and then I would have to go in Ethics. I began to feel incredible violence like I was under great pressure, I would never disagree, I obeyed without question and was no longer able to criticise or even think critical thoughts. I had to look and sound happy all the time so I smiled constantly and said I was good, happy, etc. I was persuaded that I was finding the "true me".

The Eligibility is actually used to modify behaviour and make you pretend that Scientology is working when it is not. After you finish OT 5, for example, you have to act like an OT 5, if you don't it is "out-ethics" and you have to explain to the Ethics Oficer why and then change the way you behave.

I received approximately 200 hours of Sec Checks, on the e-meter, which I paid for. The questions asked are designed to find ANYTHING embarassing or unethical. The auditor doing the Sec Check is ordered to get ALL the details. Questions on sexual activity will include asking what position was used, what EXACTLY was done, was oral sex performed, was sodomy performed, how deeply was the penis inserted, did the man use his fingers, how long did it last, etc., etc. It is not uncommon for a great deal of time to be spent on just ONE sexual experience. Subjects include sex, children, money, Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard, organizations, Scientologists. I was asked if I had ever had a critical thought about Hubbard, had I ever had a destructive intention towards him or Scientology. There is NO part of my life I was not questioned on in great depth.

During my time in Scientology I also lost interest for anything outside of Scientology. I stopped taking care of my children and allowed them to be taken from me. I tried to get them back but the CofS said no and I just accepted it. I lost all self-confidence and became convinced that I could not succeed.

I was also convinced that the goals and purposes that were very important to me were actually not my goals but the goals of BT's and I dropped them. While all this was happening, I was sure I was getting better and when I discovered Scientology was false, it took a very long time to accept and to realise the extent of the damage. I still have not fully realised how much I was damaged. My husband has seen me change personality before his eyes but was unable to discuss it with me because I denied it and refused to consider it. For several years, I have felt that I have remained sane only because of being very careful and with a great deal of effort. In Scientology, I lost all idea of WHO I was and became convinced I was someone/something totally different. Scientology changed my personality into something they could use.

Since my discovery that Scientology is false I have experienced heavy depression, suicidal tendencies, violence, feeling of being betrayed, lied to, used. Feeling that I gave up my children for nothing. No interest in life or living. I was persuaded that non-Scientologists are all stupid, aberrated, etc., and I have lost all my friends because I had no non-Scientology friends while I was in Scientology and my Scientology friends cannot speak to me. Sad because I cannot contact my children and they regard me as evil. Very often I desire to just be alone and have some peace. I cannot show my emotion. It is very difficult to be enthusiastic or have hope for the future. Having said all that, it has made me stronger because it has not destroyed me.

Here is another quote from Hubbard confirming the power the C/S's and auditors have over the person being audited and the effect their actions have on his life.

(quote) "In our hands is his future, his sanity, his immortality.

"It depends on us whether he survives and lives a full life or whether he goes into limbo.

"If we do our duty, when we know and do our jobs, he achieves everything. When we don't, he is gone.

"No priest or fancied idol has ever been endowed with more cause over the beingness of another than a C/S and his auditor.

This isn't my opinion or my feeling about it. It's the way pcs look at it.

"Actually, one can't really state the full actuality of it.

"The pc is justified in trusting us when we keep up-to-date on our tech, know our job, take every care that a good job is done and do our duty." (end of quote).

It is obvious that we trusted these people with our lives and just as obvious that our trust was not justified, was misplaced and was brutally betrayed.

The issues I have quoted from are dated 14 March 1963, 8 August 1971, 26 October 1975, 17 December 1978 and 28 November 1978, are still valid, and contain no exceptions. It can be verified that I have not edited out any provisos, disclaimers or other small print.

When my husband, Alex, and I approached the CofS in Switzerland last December, we informed them of the damage we had experienced in Scientology. We described in detail the lack of promised results, lost years of our lives because we had been persuaded by Hubbard's lies to become involved in Scientology, the time and money we had given, damage, etc. We spoke for an hour and a half and did not even discuss the damage to my son, Michael, from the loss of his father, Albert, and his inheritance. We received a "nice", polite reply from Brian Anderson, OSA Flag, a copy of which follows.

Church of Scientology Flag Service Organization, Inc.

PO Box 31751, Tampa, FL 33631-31751 (813) 461 1282.

Ariane and Alex Jackson January 4, 1995 [Wrong Date] Dear Ariane and Alex, Michel Reveillere, OT8, with whom you were in contact on 9 December, has informed us of the concerns which were relayed to him. We thank you for that. Michel Reveillere noted that the discussion with you took place without any animosity, and I was pleased to hear that.

The way with which your cause was presented by Mr. Lavergnat (and therefore, unfortunately, by you) appears to be blackmail and an attempt to extort funds. You must understand that this is unacceptable and I want to hereby put you on notice directly.

I also want to let you know that we are open for further direct contact with you. The fact that the contact is direct does not prevent you in any way to have assistance by another; but I am asking that this person be impartial.

We fully respect your right to no longer be a part of the Church of Scientology; it is a basic principle of the democracy in which we live.

I look forward to your answer.

Sincerely, [Signed Brian Anderson]
Brian Anderson,
Church of Scientology,
Flag Service Organization We did not answer Mr. Anderson because 3 weeks prior to our receiving this letter the cult had filed a complaint against us for blackmail and extortion and was attempting to have us jailed. Their complaint was thrown out despite the fact they repeatedly appealed it. They only stopped when they used up all their appeals in Geneva and would have had to go to Federal Court.

I challenge the CofS to demonstrate a willingness on their part to take the responsibility they claim that they take and for which they charged $100,000's. Why not start by refunding the money? Then make up for the damage done. Get their members to repay their delinquent debts as they promised. Obviously they (CofS) are incapable of delivering what was promised so how can they keep the money that was paid when their own guru says the failure was caused TOTALLY and ONLY by them and that what they did was "destructive"? So we have an admission the "auditing"

was not only not beneficial but destructive, and when I asked for refund and damages I was falsely accused of blackmail and extortion. The CofS has a choice; agree with Hubbard that the auditing was as he described it and take steps to make good the "fakery" and "destructiveness" OR try to say the auditing was "good" Scientology and no refund or payment for damages is necessary. If they choose the latter, then they are admitting that "good" Scientology takes money for no results and destruction. Even if they choose to hide behind the protection of calling it "religious practices", the religious "practices"

that Hubbard promised were not the religious "practices" we received, according to him.

Instead of an honest, decent, responsible approach, their apparent chosen tactic has been repeated attempts to taint my character with lies; the latest was particularly distasteful and was from one of their members, Cyril Jaquier. Their unsuccessful attempts to silence me have included the complaint in Switzerland, daily visits by representatives trying to coerce and intimidate my husband and myself into signing a release waiving all claims and promising never to speak about anything relating to our experiences, accusations and threats of legal actions (threatened legal actions have not been initiated presumably because there is no basis), my teenage children calling me and trying to persuade me to shut up, and my teenage daughter threatening me with legal action if I speak about my experiences.

I will continue to speak.

I have a lot more to say.

(I am sending a copy of this to CofS asking for an official response and I will post any reply I receive).

Ariane Jackson,
October '96.

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