http://home.snafu.de/tilman/mystory/isabel.txt From: isabel@uhunix3.uhcc.Hawaii.Edu (Isabel Hsin-Yu Chang)
Date: Fri, 21 Apr 1995 23:39:13 GMT
I have a word to say about my experience in scientology. I think scientology creates a fake world, and everything in it is fake. I have been in it for a week, and luckily i got out. No doubt it is a very powerful organization in that it can brainwash people so quickly to such an extent that those being brainwashed just forget everything and only has scientology goals in their mind. This is very horrible. Honestly, I have been brainwashed too, to such an extent that I even wanted to sign up for a contract to be a staff member for two and a half year!.. That was because i have no knowledge about that bad things of scientology whatsoever. Now, I think back, I just felt I was lucky. Scientology can make one feel good, but this is just an deception or illusion. In fact, I think scientology is a very fairy-tale like world, where people just lived in illusions of an ideal world where there are no wars, drugs..etc.

That's what scientologists aim at improving the world. But, that is very naive, and stupid.

And the reactive mind, now i think back, i just think it's really stupid.

It's just human nature to be jealous, greedy, selfish.. etc.. thus explained the occurences of wars..etc. And, to get rid of the reactive mind is simply against human nature. Or in another words, the person who proposed of getting rid of the reactive mind perhaps just have controlling other's peoples thoughts and actions as his/her main goals!( which is very bad).

And, L.Ron. Hubbard. He is VERY clever, or one can say, a REAL genius.

But these people just kind of sucks when they use their talents for bad purposes instead of good ones!! And how many DECENT and LITERATE people have been FOOLED by him?? I just wondered WHEN these people would EVER REALIZE what a MESS they have got themselves into! Perhaps, they will NEVER be able to REALIZE that, depending on their own fate.. and the degree of being brainwashed. THIS is a very Sad matter....(so to speak).

I have been in it and now I have gone out. I can clearly see the difference between me in the org. and me back to real life. There is a HUGE difference. In the org, when i have been brainwashed, I thought EVERYTHING in this world is bad, and we the scientologists, are the only ones that can improve people's lives. And I was like detached from real life at that time.. with all the teachings of L.Ron Hubbard on my mind.

At that time, i was just feeling strange, I felt that something is controlling my mind. That my mind is under a very powerful or hypnotic control. But then, after someone told me the bad things about scientology, I realized what a mess i have got myself into. And, I made up my mind not to go to the org and receive anymore auditing. I have to called them up to cancel the contract. But, I can't believe, i was SO afraid of telling them that i changed my mind THAT i had to ask a counsellor to help me. And when i started talking to one of the people there, I trembled. This is just the evidence of it all. How can a Good organization made one trembled with fear? Later, a few ppl from the org called me up and asked me why i have changed my mind. I just tell them that's just the way it is, and they left me alone.

They are nice people, Scientologists are basically good and decent people. What is bad is the evil purpose behind the seemingly good organization. And if one has to blame on anything, That's the founder of scientology. All the other scientologists just happened to get into the mess.

I don't blame anyone, or any scientologists. If I am to blame, that's the Founder's fault. OR, Well, this is just what the world is like, always a mixture of evil and good. And, if the good aren't clever enough to avoid the traps, then....this is just one fact of life.

Just hope that this evil won't spread too quickly like wildfire across the world. Where is the true god? When will he ever come along to save these people from the clutches of the demon?

This is still a mystery.

Hope people won't get hooked on it.

Regards.

>someone said:
>>I have a word to say about my experience in scientology.
>thank you.
>and congratulations. be careful. be very careful.
>
>the cult can be very nasty to ex-members who criticize
>them. or they might suddenly start calling you up and
>being _really_ friendly, and want to _help_ you clear
>up your _misunderstanding_ of scientology.
>
>the only thing more scary and dangerous than the cult
>is a _smiling_ scientologist. that'd be worse even
>than the snarling curs we have here.
>
>if it happens, _don't_ listen to them. they're good
>at sounding like friendly human beings when they're
>desperate to get a member back. see how fast it turns
>to threats and intimidation if you disagree.
>
>you only were there for a little while, it seems, so
>they probably don't have a grip on you, but be careful.
>like heroin, scientology behavior starts up wherever
>you left off if they get you back.
I agree with what you said. Anyway, I have a friend who is a scientologist who would still call me up once a week to talk about it. He just sucks and is getting stranger than ever. And even very defensive and aggressive especially when i said something bad about his "religion". Well, the more defensive and unreasonable he is, the more he shows what a bad organization he is associated with.:)

> Please tell us more about how you got in, and how you decided
> to leave. Were you on staff for that week?
Hi, Well, It's kind of a long story. Even though i have been there for just a week, I have learnt quite a lot already.

Well, First, I happened to know a friend in the caffeteria called Mac. And, then Mac introduced me to Jac, who was the one that introduced scientology to me. After Mac had introduced me to Jac, Jac started to call me frequently on the phone and talked to me about Scientology ideas..etc. Well, that had been going on for like some time, and then, at one point i had an upset with my irc boyfriend added that he kept calling and talked to me about scientology, and also gave me some comfort and advice over the upset. And there was this day, the celebration of L.Ron Hubbard's birthday, which he tried so hard to persuade me to go. He said it was really good. At that time, i was feeling kind of troubled because of the upset with my irc boyfriend. And he said that well perhaps it would make me feel better if i go out instead of just stayed at home etc. And, he also said that i should not just reject seeing something that i have not seen before. And, it made sense to me. I thought, well why not gave it a try and see what this scientology was all about before i said i didn't like it.. since he was making such a big fuss about it. And so, I went to the Celebration of L.Ron.Hubbard's birthday.

It was like in a theatre, and they showed us a film,(which they said it was a real broadcast from LA.), which they have saved up for us to see. Well, after watching the film about 1-2hours, I was really amazed, and kind of started to admire this man-L.ron.hubbard. I got really interested in scientology. What was in the film is that, the words were really powerful and looked reasonable to me, without any flaws. Everything seemed so nice. And there was also L. Ron Hubbard explaining "his only defense for having lived" is something like to help mankind to help themselves and that man would have glad that he had lived.

And, there was this part that talked about those organizations that were against Scientology. He said that many organizations had gone against scientology and him. He said, "why would scientology create such an uproar in them?", "was it because scientology was very powerful and could prove their theories wrong?" (note i did not remembered exactly what he said, just the general idea) All these things just were so convincing that there couldn't seem to be any reason for doubts. His words were just TOO convincing and reasonable in a way. And the film also showed their various successes and wins all over the world.

Many people clapped their hands and cheered at the wins. My friend -Jac seemed to be the loudest :).

After the film, we went outside where they had prepared some food for us to eat. And , there i met another woman named Wes.

She had been a staff member there for about 15-20 years. Well, she talked to me about taking a course in communications. And, well she asked me many questions like do i have a hard time communicating, or saying what i want to others..etc. And well, most of the time i agreed. And then she said i really need to take the course. She made an appointment with me. (But i thought she didn't meant it, so i didn't take it seriously).

And so I forgot to go to the appointment.

Thus, Jac called me and asked me why i didn't go to the appointment, and i said i forgot. And so he said Wes would called me up again.

So, wes called me up to make an appointment for another day, and so i went. We talked for 3 long hours about scientology, and she showed me 2 videos about it. Well, I have taken the personality test (through a newspaper ad) before and i scored low on it. Then that day, i wanted to take it again to see if i have changed much, ( i am sure that my answers did change some and i thought my scores would have improved a bit). Well, sure it did improve "a little", but basically the graph looked the same as the first one I took. And then, well, she explained to me about the personality test..etc.. and they seemed to make sense to me. And the personality test did really seem real and true to me at that time.

So, i told her that i was feeling sad all the time and didn't know why and asked her if there were some courses that could help me. And She recommended dianetics.. And so, i bought the book and paid the fees totalling about $125.

Well, One strange thing i noticed about was the paper that had my bills on it the amount that i have paid. There were two names below it, they were Wes And Jac... This looked strange to me before, but now i know why, guess that's the way they got credits for their work.

Well, so i got into the course. Since it was spring vacation for one whole week, I spent most of my time there everyday from 9am-6pm monday to Friday. I studied in a room with only another student-Jac.. and also the supervisor, who helped us if we did not understand the course.

I read the book continuosly from 9am-10:30am, then there was a break of 15 mintues. And we continued from 10:45am-12noon. Then i went out for my lunch myself for an hour. Then resumed the studies from 1pm-3:30pm, break of 15 minutes, then 3:45pm-6pm.

The schedule was really rigid and tough. Well, we could not fall asleep during class. The supervisor would constantly check to see if you are reading the material correctly. One time i felt sleepy, and he then said that perhaps i did not understand the material. That's the reason they gave for being sleepy or rather L.Ron.Hubbard's reason. "The reason a person fell asleep is that they don't understand the word." So, like, if we gone past any word we didn't know, we have to look up the dictonary.

And this thing is something i don't quite agree on. LIke, one doesn't have to look up EVERY single word to know the whole thing. Sometimes one can even skipped many words that are not important and Still get the GENERAL idea of it. So, this is one strange thing. Well, in the room, they have the big saying put up on the wall "Understanding comes from Freedom from Misunderstood words" (something like that, not exact sentence though) which makes sense doesn't it? :) That's classroom stuff, When i was there, i see one or two other people taking other courses too. Communications course i guess. LIke a person keep on asking the other the same questions" what would you like to talk to your mother about"

the person kept on repeating the same thing to the other person. And, they also have a lesson that have a person sit on a chair and close their eyes.. to test how long they can be like that without moving.(I realize now that it's like making people get into a trance so that they can be more easily manipulated)..etc. They have clay models too. They use them to demonstrate some concepts which are difficult to explain in words.. etc..

I went through auditing too.. I was audited and i also audited someone else. The auditing is that 2 people in a quiet room.

And me being the preclear. And there was the auditor that started to ask questions. First he asked me to close my eyes and listened to him as he counted 1,2,3 till i closed my eyes.

Then he would tell me that whatever thing that happened would be cancelled after i heard the word cancel and that thing would not have any effects on me whatsoever. And then he proceeded to ask me to recall an incident in which i felt sad about. So, I told him the details, and he had me go over it again and again and "picked up whatever details i could contact".. and till i felt cheerful about it, then he would end the session.

Then, there was some incident, which he made me repeat a sentence again and again for more that 20 times.. this is because this incident was a "lock" i think. And i have to repeat the sentence for many times till he thought it was enough. And we would stop. The session usually took 1-1.5 hour (for me). Strange enough, these auditing did help a bit,( i guess it was just fake feeling that was just temporary.. or what people called they used psychological means).

After 5 days.. someone asked me to join staff. And i was very eager to be able to get to the stage of "clear", but then i realized the enormous money that i have to put in, and while joining staff, i could get those courses all for free. So, i decided to join staff. Besides, i liked the people there, they all seemed so nice, friendly, they didn't put people down, no discrimination, and yeah looked all VERY ethical and intelligent,as compared to those classmates that i saw around me.. whom many smoked, speak foul language, cursed, put others down, inconsiderate. These things made these scientologists stand out from the real world. They seemed to be like a piece of pure rock in the disturbing world around us (which is true), and their personality and ethics seemed to match mine pretty well, as i don't smoke, drink, curse, etc.. So, that's what drew me to them that quick, we have same things in common.

What Changed was when i told my brother and father about it. My brother IMMEDIATELY realized that something was wrong, and he sent me all the bad information regarding the cult which i have never known. My father cried for the first time in my 19 years of life when he heard that i wanted to quit school to be a staff member for 2 and a half year with low pay. All of a sudden, It just seemed to me that I did something really terribly wrong to make them so concerned about me, which had never brought them so much concern in the past. Well, then it seemed that i had no choice but to just cancel the contract because of my father. The thing was so serious that, my father said that if i joined the Cult, he would severe ties with me, and would not consider me his daughter anymore, and that also, his health would deteriote or might die early if i joined the cult (although he didn't know it was a cult or anything). He was just against me for not completing college. He told me that i could do anything i wanted after I finished college. And I told him that alright i would not join staff for the time being, but would do so as soon as i graduate from college. And he felt better. This was the one thing that made me change my mind, At that time this seemed to be the only way out- that was to get out of scientology. I would not want to join scientology at the expense of my father's health and my brother's worries.

What's worse, was that, i wouldn't want to be the cause of my father's death if i joined staff. And also, i realized that scientology must be real bad if it really caused such worries in my family because i know they cared about me. That's why i decided to cancel the contract..etc.. Moreover, at that time, I could realize that i was already very detached from real life..

even it was kind of a different feeling when i was relating to my brother or father.. who were outside scientology. I could feel that my mind was under some sort of control like in the scientology world.. detached from real life.. kind of.

Actually, before i told my father i wanted to join staff, i had already told one of the scientologists that my father was against it. And the scientologist just told me not to tell my father that i wanted to join staff yet, but wait till he and i had planned out something (like teach me more about scientology), so that i could convince my father, and try to make him understand. But, i just happened to tell my brother, and he told my father and so..

And what followed up was that i know i had to call them up and cancel my contract. We were all very concerned if the contract was legally binding or not, luckily i was told it was not by Jac. But, another realization that it was a cult, was that, I was very afraid to call them up to cancel the contract. LIke my father said, if it was a good organization, why would it cause me so much fear? I didn't even dare to call them up myself, instead, I went to ask the help of a school counsellor to help me. She practiced with me in how to reject others. And then she was there when i called them up to cancel the contract. We made the phone available to listen for both of us. I dialed the number, and asked to speak to Ann (I was trembling with fear) - this was another evidence of being involved in a cult. And i got the reply that Ann was writing success stories and would take quite a while, and i said i would call back later. After a few mintues, i called them again, and another guy picked up and asked me who i was, i just told them that i was a client of ann and asked to speak to Ann. So, Ann came after a while and I told him that i wanted to cancel the contract, and he was surprised indeed. And then i made excuses that i needed to go to class and hung up, i didn't tell him the reason why, no doubt he would have liked to know, but good that he didn't push me further. He didn't say anything.. just surprised, and there was silence, and i hung up.

And after that day, I thought those people might call me up again, and so many times, i set the ringer off ( I was still very weak at that time, for fear i might be pulled back in by their persuasion again), so i just stayed out late , and not answered any phones and read more about what scientology was really about. Well, then, after a week, i put my ringer back, and well, 2-3 people did call me back and asked me why i had changed my mind. They believed that there must be some reason, or i must have got some bad information which might not be true about scientology. Well, at first i said no.. i just changed my mind, but then i did reveal to them about a book that i have read about it to Wes, a scientologist. And she said "how could you believe in a book, I have been here for many years, and i have seen all sorts of rumors which just were not true". I was talking about the book - a piece of blue sky. Anyway, i just said i decided not to join scientology.( i have woke up from the fake world) Actually wes had called me up because she said i needed to complete the cycle. I just need to audit one more person, then i could finish the course "dianetics" and graduate. Well, i just said i was not interested..

Well, luckily they did not call me up anymore. They just called me once (the two people that was there when i signed the contract). But Jac- my friend who introduced scientology to me, still called me up once every week. He is getting stranger than ever, which makes me feel more and more that it is a cult. i discovered that it's kind of difficult for me to understand what he was saying.. the way he thinks is very different and strange. Everything is black or white, like either this or that. There should not be any neutral answers. And everytime i challenged his ideas, and said bad thigns about scientology, he would get mad, and even scoll me "why are you so f*cking stupid", which he had never done that to me before, I was really thrilled ..Like, there was an incident. This A called him up and told him that *i* said something to A. And *he* called me up to verify the information with me to see if i have really said that thing to *A*, and I said i did not. And *he* said that *A* is a liar then. And, i just think it was not right, because A just misunderstood something that i have said to A, and thus A related the wrong information to *him*, so A was not lying, just misunderstood. But *he* said that he would not accept that, the point he wanted was that either *A* lied to *him* or *I* lied to *him*, that 's all, he didn't really take those miunderstandings into consideration. This is just an example of black and white concepts in his thoughts.

And when talking to him, he is always right, and i am always wrong, if i tried to challenge his scientology's ideas, he would try all means to convince that i am wrong. And one time i asked him what's your purpose in calling me up? And he said that from the beginning till now, his purpose was to help me get involve with scientology so that scientology could help me, and that his purpose had not changed a bit. And i told him that i am not interested in scientology anymore. And he said that, I disappointed him, because he thought he had brought someone really able like me into scientology, and now i don't even want to have anything to do with it, and in spite of that, i am even beginning to attack scientology. He even at one time said that i was a PTS=potential trouble source. ( i just thought he was totally out of his mind, he is very aggressive and persuasive by the way). He said he felt bad, because he felt responsible for creating a PTS. And now, he had to try to get me not to be against scientology.

That's about the story. Well, I just realized that this friend of mine is getting more and more aggressive and extreme the more time he spent in it. He almost spent everyday at the Org studying from 9am to 6pm. Even weekdays too..he's a field staff member.

There is a huge difference when you are a scientologist and when you are not. It's two worlds, and two personalities. At the time my father and brother got worried about me and called me up, it somehow made me realize that i am in another world, and they brought me somehow back to "consciousness" of this real world. That's when I started to Realize This Fake thing all together at one time plus all those bad information about it.

Guess that's about it, I am safe now. But that friend still called me once a week. But, I think he is in serious trouble already.. And, I don't think I can help him..only god knows. I might just try my best if i have the time. I just borrowed the "combatting cult mind thinking" by steven hassan in the hope to deal with his phone calls. I cannot comprehend him much now.

But when i was in scientology, I understand everything he said.. we thought the same way.. that's how it does through processing. But now, i think differently since i am back to normal."All scientologists think the same, have the same thought processes".

Another thing that doesn't make sense, is that, If scientology really help one a lot or help one to build more confidence etc..How can one be really confident in scientology and then resume back to one's own not that confident when not in scientology? If it's really a real thing, one should stay confident etc. both inside and outside of scientology.(One can't have two personalities at the same time.) But that's not the case. So it's just an "illusion or fake thing" they set up through processing, made you think that you really did improve..etc..

That's what i thought, Hope these are useful to you and the others who liked to know more about scientology. btw, scientology practices "mind-control" of individuals. Beware.:) Regards

>These two patrons, who were vouched
>for by other Scientologists, were Jody Darling, Glendale, CA and Hans
>Rhyner, Weisslingen, Switzerland. They both failed miserably to fulfil the
>terms of the loan agreements.
Rhyner was convicted to two years and nine months jail. Sadly only in Switzerland, so he won't be able to enjoy the special legendary of US jails (ask your local human rights group for details!).

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