rkeller@netaxs.com (Rod Keller) wrote:

> http://www.nrc.nl/columns/1006502425751.html
ARC In the shop window of a former department store in Amsterdam West, there was a sign saying: "if you want to be successful at work, report inside." They didn't need to tell me twice. Could it be that at last I would be successful?

I received a hearty welcome from broadly smiling staff, who were obviously very successful at the work. A dark girl stepsped towards me and pointed at the walls, on which there were large colour photos with texts. "You know what Scientology is?" she asks.

I allowed her to explain it all again to me, because maybe my knowledge of the controversial religious cult of the honourable L. Ron Hubbard might have been out of date. But I wasn't missing anything.

What I didn't know, was that these days Hubbard is very active in the plant world. He's trying to help plants grow faster, so the food supply of the world will be improved. I saw him in a large glasshouse, and was struck by the fact that he looks more and more like the former Dutch Communist leader Paul de Groot, including his lips like a cow's vagina, to borrow a phrase from Dutch writer Gerard Reve, We stopped to look at a sign that with a large triangle. Above was the word "Communication" and at the base, the words "Affinity" and "Reality".

"We think it's important to see how your ARC is doing," the girl said.

She pointed at the word "understanding" in the middle of the triangle.

"If one of the three parts of your ARC is not doing well, there's also too little understanding. Then in the triangle gets smaller and smaller."

I understood the problem and felt the question coming: "How is your own ARC doing? For instance in your relationship?" she asked.

"Could be better," I volunteered.

"What would you most like to improve"?

I blindly chose "Communication", can't miss.

"Then I know someone who can help you," she said and she quickly led me to another room, where a rather aged lady, unfortunately, gratefully received me. We walked through a room in which six sweet Scientology children were receiving a lesson from a serious Scientology teacher, and sat down at tables in the adjoining room.

She quickly came to the point. So, my relationship had a lack of communication? Then I really should watch out, because a relationship like that could quickly wither. Did I feel tired and restless? Those were the first signals. Was there any sign of a divorce? I was too tired for that, I wanted to say, but she proposed the best remedy of all: a communication course, based on the works of L. Ron Hubbard.

Forty lessons for 150 euro.

"I want to think about it at home," I said.

"What can you think of at home that you can't think of here?" she asked. The tone was sharp for the first time.

"I could also try psychotherapy," I said.

She sniffed disdainfully. "Psychotherapy? All rubbish."

We separated rather disappointed. In this way the plant world of L.

Ron Hubbard would never never blossom, and nor would my poor little ARC.

Frits Abrahams, NRC Handeslblad

>http://www.nrc.nl/columns/1006502425751.html
ARC In the shopping window of a previous supermarket in Amsterdam-[old-]West stood a notice with the text: "If you want succes in your work, report inside." I won't be told that twice. Would it finally succeed ?

[writer Frits Abrahams is a very well known journalist.] I was received cordially by a broad-smiling collaborator, who had apparently already abundant succes in their work. A girl stepped forward and pointed at the walls, where big color prints hang with texts. "Do you know what Scientology is ?", she asked.

I let her patiently explain it once more, for maybe my knowledge was oudated about the controversial, religious cult of the honorable L. Ron Hubbard. Just what I did not know: Hubbard does nowadays undertake a lot of action in the plant world. He tries to grow plants faster, as to improve the food distribution in the world. I saw him standing in a large greenhouse, when it appeared to me again how much he starts to look alike the former Dutch Communist Party leader Paul de Groot, including his cowlike lips.

[original uses literary expression from Dutch writer Gerard Reve].

We stopped in front of a notice board with a large triangle. On top stood the word 'Communication' and at the bottom figured the words 'Affinity' and 'Reality'.

"We consider it very important how your ARC is set", said the girl. She pointed at the word 'understanding' in the middle of the triangle. "If it does not go well with one of the three parts, there is also bound to be a lack of understanding. That way the triangle shrinks."

I understood the problem and felt the next question coming: "How is it with your own ARC ? For example in your relationship ? "

"Could be better", I generously accomodated her.

"What would you prefer to improve ?"

Blindly I choose the communication - ever prize.

"In that case I know someone who can help you", she said and led me hastely into another space, where an unfornately bit older lady received me gratefully. We walked through a room where six sweet little Scientology children were instructed by a serious Scientology teacher, and settled in a next room at a table.

She speedily came to business. Ayayah, so my relationship was lacking communication. I had to be very carefull with that, for such a relationship could die fast. Did I feel tiredness and restlessness ?

Those were the first signals. Was there already talk of a divorce ? I was still too unrestfull for that, I intended to say, but she already proposed the best remedy: a course in communication, based on the works of L. Ron Hbbard. 40 hours of instruction for Hfl 315,- [US $ 126] "I had like to think it over at home", I said.

" Now what could you think more at home than here? ", she asked. Her tone sounded sharp for the first time.

"I could also try out psychotherapy", I said.

She sniffed disdainfull. "Psychotherapy ? All nonsense."

We separated a bit disappointed. This way L.Ron Hubbard's world of plants would never bloom fully, to keep silence over my so paltry ARC Frits Abrahams - 23 november 2001 - NRC Handelsblad, Achterpagina.

- http://www.lemonde.fr/article/0,5987,3230--246839-,00.html I gave my best babblefish-shot in <3c028d0d.9086965@news.xs4all.nl>

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