Agreement Between The Church of Scientology and All Its Myriad Corporate Entities and [your name here]

Date:

I, [name of legal Scientology official here], do hereby affirm that raw meat wog, [your name here], has agreed to pay for and take Dianetics and Scientology courses under the following conditions:

1. all engrams shall be permanently removed from [your name here] upon completion of required courses, taken only once each. If no engrams are found, there will be no charge for any pertinent courses.

2. all body thetans will be permanently removed from [your name here] upon completion of required courses, taken only once each. If no body thetans are found, there will be no charge for any pertinent courses.

3. The thetan that is [your name here] shall remain in the same body, and [your name here] will be smarter, healthier, stronger, and in all ways better than before taking each of the Dianetics and Scientology courses.

4. At all times, [your name here]'s legal, constitutional, and human rights will be maintained and respected.

5. If any of the above 4 conditions are not met, or there is a failure in any way of the promises given to [your name here], [your name here] shall receive a written apology from the Church of Scientology and all its myriad corporate entities for failing to help [your name here] and a complete refund plus interest at 7% per annum will be returned to [your name here] within 60 days of an evidentiary hearing that rules in [your name here]'s favor. Such hearing must take place within 30 days of any written complaint filed by [your name here] to me, which I will readily accept. Such hearing will reach conclusion by majority and will be composed of a board of 10, 6 of whom are Suppressive persons chosen by [your name here], and the other 4 chosen by me.

6. If physical or mental harm is caused by any Dianetics or Scientology course, action, treatment, or promise, the Church of Scientology and all its myriad corporate entities will indemnify [your name here] whatever amount in actual and punitive damages is set by a board of 10 Suppressive Persons chosen by [your name here] who will review the claim within 30 days of receipt of a report written by a certified doctor or psychiatrist and reach conclusion by majority.

7. Should [your name here] drop the body due to any actions by the Church of Scientology and/or its myriad corporate entities, [your name here]'s heirs or designated survivor(s) will be given 1/2 of the value of all property owned by the Church of Scientology and all its myriad corporate entities within 60 days of [your name here]'s demise. If the Church of Scientology and/or any of it's myriad corporate entities should dispute such claim, if [your name here]'s survivors prevails in court, the indemnification will be double what it would have been without the disputation.

On behalf of the Church of Scientology and all its myriad corporate entities, I agree to these conditions.

Signed,

_________________________________________
[name of legal Scientology official here]

www.lisamcpherson.org

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