Found at:

http://www.uwgb.edu/4e/2006/04/27/042706opinionThrowDown.asp

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Scientology is whack MELISSA TUOMI, Editorial

Seventy-five million years ago, aliens invaded earth, and some were left behind only to cling to human bodies. Humans only had one chance at survival--Scientology.

No, this is not the setting of another Tom Cruise action thriller, but I would pay to see it played out on the big screen. This is the true foundation that Scientology was built upon.

Scientology is a psychiatristhating, vitamin-hugging and world-domination-planning cult that labels itself a church so it can use the First Amendment to protect its psychosis. Tom Cruise is the poster child of Scientology.

I’ve seen all of Cruise’s crazy rain man-like rants on television and spent hours tooling the Internet searching the Scientology Web site.

In doing so, I’ve stumbled upon some material that looks more like science fiction than "Minority Report" or "Vanilla Sky." I even found a Scientology center down the street from me.

Cruise signed a waiver/contract into a brainwashing cult that conceals the truth behind its propaganda. Scientology is based in blind faith. It intentionally keeps its members in the dark.

Members are forbidden to read materials criticizing Scientology and are banned from reading advanced literature within the church. They made up some crazy "you’ll go to space-hell if you do" line.

Cruise is the "Top Gun" of spiritual knowledge within this cult of self-proclaimed supreme beings. I guess this means he knows the secret to life or pregnancy or something.

It irked me to hear Cruise mocking Brooke Shields for taking anti-depression drugs on the "Today Show." Maybe there are too many drugs being dealt, but that is not advice I am going to take from an actor. I say stick to your day job pretending to be someone of importance.

Scientology teaches that psychiatrists are overprescribing.

That’s fine, but he believes they are behind international terrorism--literally. I think he and Bush should pair up and fight the war on terror together.

Scientologists have an usagainst- the-world attitude.

Journalists are depicted as depraved and out to spread lies to bring down Scientology.

What I found is that the definitions of truth and lies are different in Scientology than how we dimwitted non-Scientologists would interpret them. What is good for Scientology is considered truth and any criticisms equal lies.

Maverick, eject, eject, eject! I guess this also means it is good and true to deny human life.

If you are a Sea Org or elite within Scientology, having a child is gravely looked down upon--taking care of children leaves less time for work. Babies are not something to have but are to be prevented. Abortion and adoptions are not forced, but they are pressed.

Members are expected to put the good of Scientology ahead of their families. They may only get to see their children for an hour or less a day. The children are raised in nurseries run by Scientologists.

What are the chances of a normal childhood? Mission Impossible. Cruise--of course--is exceptional and is allocated special privileges because he is famous and brings in a large amount of money. He can have children, wives that make noise during labor and slaves. Yes, I said slaves. Scientologists even have slaves, and they built Cruise a gym.

A couple months ago when I saw Tom jumping on Oprah’s couch, I remember thinking, "That guy has to be on something." Now I know--vitamins. All you need in life to find happiness is Scientology, wealth, fame and vitamins.

I have heard Cruise speak of a miracle cocktail of vitamins and auditing (the process of becoming clear, done by exposing any harmful experiences or memories that cause you to have negative feeling) is a cure for the common cold.

I guess the church of Scientology has accomplished what modernday medicine could not. It is only a matter of time before it takes over the world--or at least that is its plan.

Holmes’ involvement with Cruise is "Risky Business." I reluctantly welcome their new baby girl who came into the world April 18, the same day as Brooke Shield’s baby. Isn’t that ironic?

I wonder what the gossip on the playground will be like. Good idea for a movie--"Born on the 18th of April"--two children raised in very different homes fighting for the right of recess and Flintstones vitamins.

The world may never know.

[snip]

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