I was looking over a site recently that contained pictures of some of the cult's leadership. Suddenly the thought struck me-why are all of these men so short? My research into that question led me to write this paper, which I present now for your edification.

Height in Scientology as a Generational Factor of Diminishing Value

or; Scientology Shrinks

I must first state that I have held to the highest standards in my research, and have in fact followed the same rigorous procedures for testing my conclusions that L. Ron himself did when he wrote that great scientific work, Dianetics. My conclusions, therefore, cannot be questioned.

Height is multifactorial. Not only are there many genes involved, but there are also many interactions with the environment, including nutrition during gestation and during the growth years, exposure to things such as cigarette smoke and alcohol before birth, birth order and general health. With all of these factors, it appears that we are born with a genetic potential for height and then the environment exerts its effects as we are growing.

Of course, the height of our parents affects our own height. However-and here is where my research became fascinating!-this does apply to second generation (and beyond) Scientologists!

In fact, my research shows that the longer one has been in the cult of Scientology, and the more L. Ron Hubbard literature one has read, the shorter one's offspring will be! (This appears to be true only for male offspring. The data on females is a bit spotty. My **formula will be found at the end of this paper.)

If a man, six feet tall, marries a five foot seven woman, and both achieve the state of Clear-their son will barely reach five foot four. If one of them has reached OT III, he won't be over five foot. If one parent has gone all the way to OT VIII-the poor dear will have to sit down to pee. Should both have reached this exalted state . . . well, that brings me to the next startling conclusion of my research.

Brace yourselves, fellow critics. I believe there really ARE over eight million Scientologists in the world. They have simply shrunk to such a state that they have slipped between the cracks of the orgs, and can no longer be found and counted! For each generation of Scientologists shrinks further than the last. A truly sad state of affairs.

Now, I'm sure some of you are asking about certain people who have become members of the cult, and are already short. I believe this is a coincidence.

There is no current evidence to support the hypothesis that the cult draws short men, especially actors, into itself-even though it is a known historical fact that Lafayette Ronald Hubbard was forced to stand upon his desk while at school to get his teacher's attention, and run himself up the flagpole while in the Navy in order for his superiors to see him salute. And we all know the plastic wrap on his water glass in some org memorial rooms was placed there simply to prevent him from spilling it upon himself, but these are all minor points.

In conclusion, I believe it is our duty as critics to add this to all of our webpages and flyers-WARNING! SCIENTOLOGY SHRINKS!

Thank you, and goodnight.

Valerie Emanuel

**The formula I have worked out for this ratio is;

dh (dh1+dh2+dh3) ¹ DdH (dH1+dH2+dH3) between bench marks A and B, where DdH = HB - HA, where dh stands for the male parent and the rest for something else entirely, and I have no idea what because I copied the whole thing off some website and math never was my subject. But take my word for it.

-- L. Ron Hubbard's reaction upon hearing of his son's death was, "That stupid f**king kid! That stupid f**king kid! Look what he's done to me!" (Source:

"Bare Faced Messiah" by Russell Miller, Chapter 20, P. 344 http://www.scientology-kills.org

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