It's true.

You too can go to the Scientology ethics officer and get "handled" for masturbating.

In the last few years, they've populated most ethics officer posts with teenagers.

So, often, you'll see married, 39 year old men asked by 16 year old girls, or 18 year old boys, who are acting as their ethics officers, to "get their ethics in" and apply conditions to their masturbation.

I was in a course room once where the course sup would assess the "five main reasons students blow" on recovered students, out loud, in a small class room filled with students.

He'd look at the meter screen, and say, "Personal out-ethics resulting in a missed withhold?"

Pause. (All the students are really listening now) Pause.

Supervisor: "Masturbation?"

Pause (The whole room is dead silent) Supervisor: "Playing with your self? OK." (looking up) "Playing with your self?"

Student: "mummmble, mmmmmurmer,mmmhhnadhf ogt...."

Supervisor: "Thank you. Playing with your self? OK. That's clean. Your needle is floating."

Student puts down cans. FACE BEET RED.

Supervisor: "Return to study."

I saw him do this "assessment" at least 3 times on students who had already come back from being blown. This was on their first night back from missing a few course periods.

You can bet that *I* never blew from that courseroom!

Poopsy

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