Every time I post to this NG or do a little work to benefit the critical cause, i.e, the redesign of lermanet.com, Scientology adds me to another porn list - or perhaps even applies for another credit card in my name -- that one is being investigated. (I know that I'm not the Lone Ranger here and that this is a typical "perk" for critics.)

Many of you don't know as much about me as $cientology does, so for the purpose of this post, I'll provide a bit of history: My parents, brother and sister, sister-in-law, her entire family, my ex-husband, and his children (my step children) from his previous marriage to a scientologist are all Scientologists. Included in this family are the usual mix of dissidents, OT's, Sea Org members, squirrels and hard core Scientologists that one could reasonably expect to find however, I am the only official SP. I have two daughters ages 10 and 12 who were born into scientology, making them potential 3rd generation members. Because of my own relationship with scientology, my kids have suffered enormously as a result of disconnection policies and from being recipients of a lifetime's worth of bad news about me (what comes to mind is one of them at age two explaining to the other that "Mommy causes all the accidents in the world".)

Despite the horrors of my experience with the cult, I've been extremely careful regarding what I say about Scientology in front of my kids. Rather than preach the dangers of Scientology specifically, I've been more inclined to educate them about harmful practices and groups in general which in turn allows them to form their own analogies and to grow up thinking for themselves. Education is the only effective weapon that I can use in our case actually and, as you can imagine, "being gentle" about the subject has been no small feat - esp. while resident in the Lerma household.

Aside from wanting them to think for themselves, a reason I don't share the TRULY REVOLTING nature of Scientology with my kids is that they are extremely close to some of their scieno relatives and, since I have no legal right to prevent them from having relationships with a few family members that are of concern to me, I've been left with no choice but to try to make the best of it. After careful consideration, I decided that a policy of not saying anything that could harm or interfere with their mutual love and admiration from these many sources - while being keenly aware that Scientology has a built in system of shooting itself in the foot - is the best one for our particular situation. I'm confident that, armed with an education - which most scientologists don't have - it is better to allow scientology to be the one who officially dissuades my kids from any involvement in their psychotic group. This confidence is possible because, as a 2nd generation scientologist myself, even while living entirely within the walls of a scientologist family, I was able to reason my own way out of the cult.

Also, I believe that while they are still young, putting them in a position where they live in any unnecessary fear or perceive this aspect of their lives as dangerous is just not healthy for them in regards to their psychological and spiritual development. Because of my SP declare, we actually have very little to fear from the cult right now because no relative who is connected to them (because of me) is allowed to do any "services" in Scientology. So, whereas I had done children's study courses, communication courses and was even a dianetics auditor by age 12, my 12 year old hasn't done any actual services in Scientology at all.

So now, to the purpose of this post:

I use a family computer. My kids use it every day for homework, to surf the Net, and to check their own email. Except for specifically discussing with them the truly revolting nature of Scientology, there is little I don't share with my kids. However, I can't continue to protect them from truly despicable nature of Scientology when Scientology is actively being truly despicable.

Despite my best efforts to handle this delicate situation intelligently and appropriately, you guys (scientology) cannot help but to do everything possible to turn my kids into the next generation of "super critics". In other words, despite what you THINK you are doing by harassing me, here is your actual result:

What happened this morning:

My children are in the room with me, looking over my shoulder while we try to figure out if something is wrong with the network connection so that they can check their own email. Heather checks email: receives 10 porn headers (a new all time high for the morning e-mail and directly proportionate to the amount of involvement I've had in the critical movement lately).

"Damn!" I say, fuuriously hitting delete (for some reason the mail program won't close!)-- trying to prevent my daughters from seeing the explicit porn flooding into my mailbox.

"Mommy, what is that?"

"Oh, geez! Close your eyes! Its something stupid and degrading and I don't like it. I'm so sorry you had to see that."

"Why are you getting that kind of mail?" (A reasonable question, they don't get that kind of mail.)

"Well, Honey, the truth is, the Scientologists are mad at me - especially for making Arnie's website look pretty - and since they are unable to confront me directly, they signed me up for mailing lists like this because they want to terrorize our family. They're especially proud when they can do something that makes you guys think I'm a very bad person. They like sending this kind of mail so that you guys will see it and think that I'm the one who is signing up for it.

Their intention is to make you think I'm a bad person."

"Mommy, I don't understand why Scientology tries so hard to hurt our family.[crying] ... They're always hurting us just because you don't want to be a Scientologist! They're just like the Nazi's. Why can't they try to get along with everyone? Are they going to try to kill us?"

"No, they won't try to kill us! Too many people know us and the police would suspect Scientology if anything bad happened to any of us.

They're just a bunch of dorks. Big bullies. That's all."

You see, the only actual results are that you guys have taught my children that pornography exists; they think you are disgusting perverts for sending it to us; and they are afraid of you because if you're doing this... they don't know what else you might be capable of. You've taught them, too young in my opinion, that they have relatives in a terrorist cult and that they have something to be extremely fearful of in Scientology.

So, think about it: despite the efforts of a "rabid anti-scientology critic" to protect her children from living in fear of Scientology, you guys are so sleazy that you've made it impossible.

Good luck with turning them into 3rd generation Scientologists. My children will continue to watch your "OT's" in action and will remember these profound events throughout their entire lives.

They will also continue to ask questions and pay close attention to what happened to the German people at the beginning of the 20th century. They're unusually fascinated with the subject. We're studying pre WWII books which were written when the rest of the world viewed what was happening in Germany as some kind of bizarre, elitist cult movement; one that harassed, terrorized and tried to silence anyone who didn't push the party line - written before the ultimate history of the Nazi regime unfolded. The similarities are so profound that the kids can't help putting it all together in a neat little package that makes sense to them.

My children will continue to make their OWN educated conclusions about Scientology -- which is more than I can say for the "OT's" who put me on all those mailing lists.

Heather Bennett Knowledge is power. Inform yourselves.(And bring documents when you leave.)

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