From: co@romeo-klive.nvg.unit.no (Chris Owen)
Subject: Silly Wins: Scientology turned me into a werewolf
Date: 19 Oct 1996 12:32:31 GMT
Message-ID: <54ahov$j4h@due.unit.no>

Number two in an increasingly desperate series!

(Remember, this is *not* a troll; it was actually printed in a Scientology magazine 18 years ago as an "OT Success Story".)

----------------------------

"There was this guy called Klaus who used to come into our office once a month to pay rent. He was a tall, surly German with a blackness under his complexion. He never smiled, and could only be described as 'grisly'.

My boss hated him.

Well, this one day he walked into the office and as I stood in front of him, writing out his receipt, I suddenly got the thought, "What *is* it with this guy?" and I just gave him a total confront and suddenly there before my eyes stood a hairy, grisly, sad, and rather pathetic looking werewolf with teeth just like you see in the movies. He was in fact a good deal bigger than Klaus and towered over me. Well, Wolfy and I stared at each other for a long, hard second, and then he disappeared. I was left with Klaus gazing at me in bewilderment and in his eyes I read, "*What happened?*"

I gave him his receipt and the body walked out of the office but the thetan stayed behind for a good five minutes. In fact, the presence was so strong that my boss popped his head out of his office to see if there was anybody there because he could feel it too. I said, "Don't worry, it's only Klaus. I've just used a bit of Scientology on him."

Next month, Klaus came in to pay his rent. His complexion was clear and pink and he gave us a big hello and a broad smile. He had a few words with my boss and after he had gone my boss came to me and said, "Well, I don't know what you did to him, but he's quite a nice guy after all." "

Noelle Levin South Africa [Advance!, issue 41, p. 18]

--------------------------

-- | Chris Owen | co@nvg.unit.no | |---------------------------------------------------------------------------- | WORLD'S BIGGEST SPECTRUM ARCHIVE -- http://www.nvg.unit.no/sinclair |

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Silly Wins: Scientology blew up New York
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:25:47 +0200
Message-ID: <77ve8v82f9cqbj482gij8bb5t8pfqvonep@4ax.com>

From: co@romeo-klive.nvg.unit.no (Chris Owen)
Subject: Silly Wins: Scientology blew up New York
Date: 23 Oct 1996 17:14:43 GMT
Message-ID: <54ljq3$e45@due.unit.no>

This OT Success Story provides an, errr, *interesting* alternative explanation to the phenomenon of the sonic boom...

----------

I was in my office on the 11th floor of our building when I heard the Concord [sic] (jet) going over above. I looked out the window and saw the plane flying low to the north. The weather was warm and mildly cloudy. About five minutes later, while still in my office, I became aware of a mass one quarter mile up in the sky. I looked out but could see nothing.

After I sat down again, my awareness of the mass continued so I put a beam up towards it. A thunderous explosion followed and I received a tremendous return flow along the beam, which lifted my body at least six inches out of the chair. My secretary came running through to tell me some fool must be dynamiting in the centre of the city and near our building at that.

Later that same evening in the Foundation Org, someone mentioned that they had heard a crash like thunder and the time but on looking out the window could not see any rain clouds. They work on the other side of town and were still puzzled by the bang.

No doubt some kind of ridge had built up, and on my poking a beam into it, it had become unbalanced and dramatically dispersed.

Woke up the city nicely and caused me to chuckle no end.

John Protheroe, OT

[from Advance! magazine, issue 17]

----------

-- | Chris Owen | co@nvg.unit.no | |---------------------------------------------------------------------------- | WORLD'S BIGGEST SPECTRUM ARCHIVE -- http://www.nvg.unit.no/sinclair |

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Silly Win: Ground control to Frank.....
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:08 +0200
Message-ID: <3bve8v01de82dfcuamqvv4rh42h2gltrmv@4ax.com>

From: thetan@minspring.com (R. A. Crawford)
Subject: Silly Win: Ground control to Frank.....
Date: 24 Oct 1996 21:43:18 GMT
Message-ID: <54ontm$lc9@camel4.mindspring.com>

Source: 'Advance!, Issue 16, p. 17.

"I have just ended session. My hand writes. Yet I am, at will above earth. I am at a point above the Mediterranean and can see across from Alaska to Sweden with almost the whole of Africa free of mist and cloud. Greenland and the Arctic shine in the sun in parts.

I can see the beautiful green-blue of ice packs as the sun shines behind them. The cold green of the sea, the long oily swell. A drifter goes by with its single sternsail and a red band on its funnel, the men in yellow oilskins.

Birds wheel and squawk a terrible din.

I pick up some snow and it is warm and crisp. [with his thetan hand, I assume] I smeel the ozone. [a thetan nose?] [yea, yea 52 perceptics, I get it], I haven't completed OT III. This is just a taste. -- Frank McCall"

Dear Frank: Where are you now? How about submitting to a double blind study of your remote viewing? How about standing in front of me and telling me how many fingers I'm holding up behind my back?

Ground control to Major Frank......... you're halluciniating again.

Rick Crawford

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Silly win: OT supervisor 'knows' to fetch KF
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:08 +0200
Message-ID: <4ave8voich2cuvb3nlkate92u670tb4thf@4ax.com>

From: thetan@minspring.com (R. A. Crawford)
Subject: Silly win: OT supervisor 'knows' to fetch KFC
Date: 24 Oct 1996 21:20:12 GMT
Message-ID: <54omic$lc9@camel4.mindspring.com>

From "AOLA Clear", Issue 116, October 17, 1974.

"Yesterday I missed dinner and was hungry. At 8:00 the other supervisor (OT) walked in with a piece of fried chicken and said 'here'. I asked her why she brought it. She said she just knew she should bring me a piece of chicken - that I was hungry. I was amazed! Nancy Bratten, OT."

Oh boy, what a bigun...... Another clarivoiant OT, who knew that bodies get hungary.... wow. The tech really does work, then?

R. A. Crawford

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Silly Win: Handyman, Mechanic, and OT!
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:08 +0200
Message-ID: <l9ve8v4t158g4a1ak090t8fa9o5nsgk2no@4ax.com>

From: thetan@minspring.com (R. A. Crawford)
Subject: Silly Win: Handyman, Mechanic, and OT!
Date: 24 Oct 1996 22:08:56 GMT
Message-ID: <54opdo$lc9@camel4.mindspring.com>

Source: Advance! #17.

"Today was fantastic. I walked downstairs to get some coffee and the coffee machine was buzzing. So I put my hands out and moved them around the machine putting out beams to bounce back and thereby I could tell by watching the particle flow exactly where the error in the machine was. I found it and corrected the molecular structure of that area of the machine and the buzzing stopped.

Then I heard my air conditioner rattling so I looked at why it was rattling and it stopped.

I'm becoming much more at cause, I love it--like superman!

--Michael Pincus, OT"

Michael : My car keeps cutting out. Do you think it's the fuel filter getting clogged or the OGR valve?

Thanks-in-advance.

Rick Crawford ------------------------------------------------------------- James Burke: [about the end of the dark ages]: Whereas St. Augustine man had said, 'Credo ut intelligam',(I come to understanding only through belief), he now began to say, 'Intelligo ut credam' (belief can only come through understanding). from: "The Day the Universe Changed", p.304.

-------------------------------------------------------------

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Tails From the Backside
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:08 +0200
Message-ID: <qbve8vssd9vmafiej19gaarue8l08omueh@4ax.com>

From: exile49@aol.com (Exile49)
Subject: Tails From the Backside
Date: 1 May 1997 12:35:07 GMT
Message-ID: <19970501123500.IAA27297@ladder01.news.aol.com>

From the Co$ magazine "Advance!", #130, pgs.22-23, under the heading of "OT Phenomena."

The best story concerns time travel. A certain contributor listed as "C.C." gets saved from becoming road kill by "Special OT abilities." . .

.Huh?

That's right, time travel saved someones life. According to the story some poor sap wasn't watching where he was going and bumbled into the street directly into the path of, "A huge truck." Without batting an eye this mental powerhouse saved his/her life by the simple but effective means of manipulating time.

". . . truck was about to hit. I made the decision instantly to turn back time." Shortly thereafter this time traveler was ". . . standing by the door I'd left not 10 seconds before-completely unscathed." Needless to say the author reports being "Very pleased" with his/her new and superior OT abilities.

Shucks, who wouldn't be pleased?

Another tail out of somebody's backside:

"l.R." says that a grandchild was upset frequently and that there had been strange goings on in the new house that they resided in. Using the OT abilities that had saved our other contributors ass "l.R." casts a mental net to find that a thetan was homesteading on the premises and didn't like sharing his digs with the new people. This was solved when the writer simply contacted the squatter and explained "... he needed a new body."

This was news to the thetan no doubt. However, upon being directed to ". .

. a few local hospitals to choose from." the tennant vacated the house "Never to return."

I find the idea of a thetan hanging around a hospital rather ghoulish.

None the less the superior powers of OT training came through when it counted.

There are other such stories recounted in this triumph of literature.

The simularities in style lead me to conclude that this flatulence came out of the same anus.

When I read these to my co-workers they could not believe, at first, that anyone anywhere could believe such crap. When it dawned on them that yes, there are people that stupid, not far away either, they howled with laughter.

Time for me to time travel into bed.

Exile49 (Ansel Hook)

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Silly Wins: Scientology fixed my windscreen wipers
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:08 +0200
Message-ID: <h5ve8vopdhjha8vprgbo0flifea020khgj@4ax.com>

From: co@romeo-klive.nvg.unit.no (Chris Owen)
Subject: Silly Wins: Scientology fixed my windscreen wipers
Date: 19 Oct 1996 12:38:33 GMT
Message-ID: <54ai49$j97@due.unit.no>

Help! A third Silly Win from the pages of Advance! magazine!

This one shows that, clearly, garage mechanics must be SPs, just like psychiatrists, psychologists, judges, policemen, politicians and East Grinstead bakers [sic].

---------------------

"We were having trouble with the windshield wipers on our car.

Sometimes they would work and sometimes they wouldn't work. We took the car to the garage to have it fixed. The mechanic said that they would have to go through all of the electrical system to find out what was wrong. We had planned to go on a trip, and didn't want the car tied up, so we took it like it was. We were driving along, my husband was driving. I got to thinking about the windshield wipers, left my body in the seat and took a look under the hood. I spotted the wires that were shorting and caused them to weld themselves together, like they were supposed to be.

We haven't had any trouble since."

Jane Berquist, OT

[Advance!, issue 38, p. 15]

---------------------

-- | Chris Owen | co@nvg.unit.no | |---------------------------------------------------------------------------- | WORLD'S BIGGEST SPECTRUM ARCHIVE -- http://www.nvg.unit.no/sinclair |

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Silly Wins: Heber Jentzsch, OT Policeman
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:08 +0200
Message-ID: <m8ve8vkc4kdsn1tucj7gia7jot8b19c6i7@4ax.com>

From: co@romeo-klive.nvg.unit.no (Chris Owen)
Subject: Silly Wins: Heber Jentzsch, OT Policeman
Date: 23 Oct 1996 17:15:24 GMT
Message-ID: <54ljrc$e4a@due.unit.no>

This bizarre "OT Success Story" comes from none other than Heber Jentszch, now the swivel-eyed President of the Church of Scientology International.

The last paragraph in particular gives an insight into his thinking...

----------

I went to the Los Angeles Airport one evening to pick up my wife, Yvonne, who was returning from a lecture trip. As we started to leave the car park we both heard screaming.

I exteriorized and saw a man beating up a woman. I stopped the car and told Yvonne to go and help the girl while I caught the mugger (he was already leaving the scene of the beating).

Yvonne went to the girl's aid and began giving her an assist. Her face had already greatly puffed out from the beating. I started walking at an intercept angle to the mugger who was not yet visible to me with the physical eyes. Sure enough he appeared from behind a row of cars walking fast. I walked faster and he began to run. I knew it was him because I had seen his shirt while exterior. I ran after him and called for help and the same time. The police came and helped me run him down and he was captured.

We then went back to the police station and Yvonne brought the girl in who, after the touch assist, looked fantastically improved. We both realized that we had exteriorized and seen what had happened through several rows of cars and concrete pillars. Well, maybe someday we'll have a real OT Police who'll capture the *real* criminals of society. That would be a real help towards world police.

Heber C. Jentszch, OT

[from Advance! magazine, issue 38, p. 14]

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-- | Chris Owen | co@nvg.unit.no | |---------------------------------------------------------------------------- | WORLD'S BIGGEST SPECTRUM ARCHIVE -- http://www.nvg.unit.no/sinclair |

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Silly Wins: Scientology caused California earthquake
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:08 +0200
Message-ID: <t7ve8vcf1gh5oun25qvjteij4emo97dsu4@4ax.com>

From: co@romeo-klive.nvg.unit.no (Chris Owen)
Subject: Silly Wins: Scientology caused California earthquake
Date: 23 Oct 1996 17:16:26 GMT
Message-ID: <54ljta$e4f@due.unit.no>

Now you know who to blame next time your house falls off a hill.

----------

Some days ago I went to bed thinking that something should be done about earthquakes in California. What could it be?

I had the idea of putting a tractor beam through the earth - east and west.

I did it and put an anchor point at each end of the line and gave it a little nudge to be sure everything was snug.

Almost instantly - there was a jolt and my bed dropped about 1/2 inch. WOW!

Emil Bates, OT

[from Advance! magazine, issue 15, p. 20]

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-- | Chris Owen | co@nvg.unit.no | |---------------------------------------------------------------------------- | WORLD'S BIGGEST SPECTRUM ARCHIVE -- http://www.nvg.unit.no/sinclair |

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Silly Wins: Scientology saved my goldfish
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:08 +0200
Message-ID: <76ve8vgar56f5pv03n7o3813mdr41juonr@4ax.com>

From: co@romeo-klive.nvg.unit.no (Chris Owen)
Subject: Silly Wins: Scientology saved my goldfish
Date: 23 Oct 1996 17:13:57 GMT
Message-ID: <54ljol$e3v@due.unit.no>

Scientology Saved My Goldfish

Here's another OT Success Story to prove that animals can have Big Wins, too...

----------

Last week I saw that my goldfish was all red and lumpy. My husband, Rick, said that he's had goldfish like that before and that they don't recover, they just die.

I got very sad. He had been with our family for a year now. So, that night, I decided to do something. I used my flows from "8-80" and my abilities as an OT and flowed some energy toward my fish's wounds. I did this until something seemed better. I then went to sleep.

The next day Rick said he noticed the fish was less red and lumpy! I was very pleased and that night from my office at work I continued the assist.

I continued to flow energy, changing the flows as needed until a big burst of matter blew. I ended off. When I went home that night the fish was completely healed!

It was a big win for me, and the fish. It couldn't have been done without the technology of L. Ron Hubbard.

Minty Alexander, OT

[from Advance! magazine, issue 33]

----------

-- | Chris Owen | co@nvg.unit.no | |---------------------------------------------------------------------------- | WORLD'S BIGGEST SPECTRUM ARCHIVE -- http://www.nvg.unit.no/sinclair |

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Silly Wins: OT III gets me parking spaces
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:09 +0200
Message-ID: <mdve8vktp75btbvldu3jej3ltda9bcrpn8@4ax.com>

From: co@romeo-klive.nvg.unit.no (Chris Owen)
Subject: Silly Wins: OT III gets me parking spaces
Date: 28 Oct 1996 18:54:13 GMT
Message-ID: <552vgl$661@due.unit.no>

Yet another example of the miraculous powers which Scientologists claim to gain. This, for once, is *not* from Advance! magazine; it's from an unpublished Danish manuscript on Scientology, dated around 1985. I'm afraid I don't know the identity of the interviewee, who is described as having reached OT III Expanded. Keep track of the dates he mentions and note the extreme inconsistencies - in particular, he says below that he has "not lived on this planet for the past 75 million years" and promptly goes on to explain what he was doing in the Middle Ages. I think you can judge for yourself his veracity....

------------------

Q. What incidents have you lived through?

A. During the course of auditing, I have handled incidents which occurred 42 trillion years ago - and even further back. I have lived at least 100,000 times before. For example, I have lived in the Stone Age many times, but I have not lived on this planet for the past 75 million years. I know it sounds strange to sit and tell of such things, when there are only 24 hours in the day... I belong to the more humble figures in history. I have never had roles such as Caesar or Cleopatra.

My life as a woman was exceptionally terrible. I was a rich French merchant's mistress in the seventeenth century for example. But I was not good to him and in fact, poisoned him with a brew of deadly mushrooms, which I served instead of his usual drink which he got every day at four o'clock. The reason I can remember this is that I sometimes get a choking feeling in my throat. The merchant died you see, with his hand on his throat. This happened on the first floor of the house, on the black and white floor, and you know, details like that are retained in the mind if you subject others to pain.

I found my own tombstone in the south of France in 1969. It was near Lyon, in a little village called Tassin. I was driving in that area.

At that time... it was around 1820 - my name was Yvonne, and I died because I stumbled over something on the pavement and fell into the street. A carriage drawn by two horses was passing and the rear wheel of the carriage ran over my throat. The driver didn't notice anything, and I lay there for over an hour before my body was found.

Q. Have you ever lived on other worlds?

A. Yes, I have lived outside our galaxy on a streamlined planet several times. But that was before we got bodies of flesh and blood, which is a relatively new invention. We had robot bodies - mechanical - which could be repaired. Emotions on the other hand were a drawback in such mechanical bodies. Deep sorrow was physically painful to express - it was as if one had difficulty controlling one's limbs - as if one was out of control.

Q. How many sexes were represented among these robots?

A. Then as now, there were only two, but the remarkable thing was that sex could only be experienced by three people together. But that was over 92 million years ago.

Q. What were you doing in 1648?

A. In 1648 I was living in Germany - I can remember no more. But if the question had been what was I doing in 1100 then the answer is: artisan and teacher in East Asia. In the year 600 exactly, I know that I died as a 2 year old boy. My mother was climbing some rocks, somewhere in the Arabian Peninsula, she dropped me and I broke my back.

Q. What would you like to be in your next life?

A. I am convinced that I can choose what I want to be myself. The abilities that I possess now are greater than in any earlier life.

Consequently I intend choosing a scientology family in my next life - what else.

Q. What abilities does one obtain as an OT III Expanded?

A. Even at the stage of clear, you can decide physically. I can decide for example, that I will not be sick. If you've caught a cold, it's generally because you have lost something or other, you can't find what you want, or a relationship with another person has broken up - in those situations you are susceptible.

Q. You use spectacles, isn't that a sign of weakness?

A. My sight has become better over the years. Before I became a scientologist, the glass in my spectacles was as thick as the bottom of a beer bottle, today it is thin.

Q. When you are an OT III, can you do unusual things?

A. Yes, I can frequently predict what people will say in their next sentence. When I'm on my way to town I can "order" a parking slot, so that it's vacant when I arrive. On another occasion I did something my children still talk about. We were to fetch some people at the airport and as we started home, I said that we would drive all the way without stopping for a red light. And it happened!

Q. Can you demonstrate these abilities?

A. No, it should not be demonstrated. It serves no purpose, it would in fact be misuse.

------------------

Hmmm! *Very* curious...

-- | Chris Owen | co@nvg.unit.no | |---------------------------------------------------------------------------- | WORLD'S BIGGEST SPECTRUM ARCHIVE -- http://www.nvg.unit.no/sinclair |

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Silly Win: saving a talking horse
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:09 +0200
Message-ID: <tcve8v45ms220k62emjpsgkf06vdc4vj65@4ax.com>

From: Jeff Jacobsen <cultxpt@primenet.com>
Subject: Silly Win: saving a talking horse
Date: 26 Oct 1996 18:40:02 -0700
Message-ID: <54uehi$aol@nnrp1.news.primenet.com>

I find the testimonials in Scientology magazines the most interesting part of all. The claims can be so outrageous. Here's my favorite;

"When I was doing my Purification Rundown, I picked up the pictures of a being who was stuck in being a harness horse in earlier years.

"I located the garage where the being was- actually a converted horse barn. I got in communication with him and convinced him that since I was the only one who 'saw' him (his mock-up), I must know something. I got him to accept the idea of taking a human body and becoming aware. I showed him the Scientology symbol and cross. Then I directed him to a hospital where there was a new body. Later that evening I got communication from the being. He was with his new, loving family - and already forgetting he was a horse." K.H. (Advance! issue 95, p.14)

If you get hallucinations like this on the Purification Rundown, is it any wonder that Michael Jackson's collapse allegedly occurred after the purif? And when the horse got his new loving family, did he tell them he was a horse? When you are in the Between-lives area, do you have to fill out a Full Disclosure Form for your parents-to-be?

Some Native Americans go out to an isolated place and fast and hurt themselves in order to induce "visions". It looks like Scientology has a practice to induce visions as well, only they charge people for it.

-- http://www.primenet.com/~cultxpt/index.htm Remember Richard Collins and Noah Lottick Jeff Jacobsen cultxpt@primenet.com PO Box 3541 Scottsdale AZ 85271 USA

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Silly Win: Look up in the sky....is it a bird? a plane?... no it's OTman to the rescue....
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:09 +0200
Message-ID: <6fve8vk0jvk53sl70crgl2ain9q7gno0a2@4ax.com>

From: thetan@minspring.com (Rick Crawford)
Subject: Silly Win: Look up in the sky....is it a bird? a plane?... no it's
OTman to the rescue....

Date: 31 Oct 1996 07:05:32 GMT
Message-ID: <559j3s$h24@camel4.mindspring.com>

In magazines, such as Advance! Scientologists always (in the issues that I have) write about great out-of-body experiences, with out hesitation, without qualms about 'ethics', or 'trivial' dispays of powers.

And as all good true believers, who never have the balls to question authority, illogical pseudo-technology, or even know what "is true for onesself", we wind up with this kind of statement:

"Rick Sherwood, a former OSA volunteer, reacted with visible sadness at the announcement, shouting, "ARS BIGOTS CAN'T EVALUATE DATA."

Bigots? The only thing people here are bigoted about, IMO, is the boneheadedness of people who make stupid comments like the preceeding. I would wager any amount that the so called ARS Bigots can evaluate data a hell of a lot better than any one-way-brainlocked-pinheaded-true-believer. Any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

Why is it then that such big 'phenomena' (of the following win) is so unstable, and is so hard to demonstrate to mere mortal wogs? That we can't evaluate your data properly? Here's a dime for a clue.

Another of the millions of silly (hyperbole) wins:

"From Advance! 34, page 10: An O.T. Rescue

Tonight, as I ate my dinner, I became aware of a distress call. It emanated from some distance away and seemed quite urgent, involving some life-and-death situation. I pinpointed the source in the French countryside and went to take a look

I found a peasant woman tied to a chair in a small building. She was surrounded by a dozen men whose intentions were obviously less than 'bon.' Her tone level was terror and the men appeared to be in sadism, punishing bodies, or something equally unappetizing.

Being without my body, I decided to handle the situation with pictures and emotions. So, I permeated the room with "fear of discovery" and pictures of the police closing in on the villains. Fortunately, at this same time there was a young couple coming down the road. Their noise and physical approach added reality to the pictures I was generating.

The 'bad guys' fell for the deception and fled, leaving the heroine alone in the room. Naturally they were caught a short time later when they blundered into the police.

As the woman was still tied and gagged, my job was not yet complete. So, installed curious feelings in the young man and girl and they wondered obligingly into the cabin where they rescued the woman and helped her back to her family.

All the way home and for some time after she kept streching her arms to the sky thanking me for saving her life. However, try as I would, I could not convince her that I was not 'God.' She could not grasp the term 'Scientology' and I finally settled for leaving here with the name 'Hubbard.' Perhaps, some day, she will find out for herself the magic I was trying to bestow upon here.

I hope so.

--Fred Roeschke, OT"

-- Rick Crawford: Co$ Escapee, Self-Declared Suppressive, Skeptic.

------------------------------------------------------------ James Burke: [about the end of the dark ages]: Whereas St. Augustine man had said, 'Credo ut intelligam',(I come to understanding only through belief), he now began to say, 'Intelligo ut credam' (belief can only come through understanding). from: "The Day the Universe Changed", p.304.

------------------------------------------------------------

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: New Silly Win: OT III got me free fish and chips!
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:09 +0200
Message-ID: <cove8voanmmrhljpbneoekjrhbospfqihk@4ax.com>

From: ronthewarhero@yahoo.co.uk (Chris Owen)
Subject: New Silly Win: OT III got me free fish and chips!
Date: 26 Nov 2001 16:04:55 -0800
Message-ID: <f758becc.0111261604.3a83bfe6@posting.google.com>

From "Advanced Courses Newsletter", AOSH UK, 12 February 1973:

"I'm on OT III and I'm getting all sorts of side effects! I was in the fish and chip shop and I ordered plaice and chips. I thought 'A double plaice would be nice'. And it arrived! I never ordered it ...

it just arrived! Crazy!"

- Trudy Chamberlain

| Chris Owen - ronthewarhero@OISPAMNOyahoo.co.uk | |---------------------------------------------------------------| | THE TRUTH ABOUT L. RON HUBBARD AND THE UNITED STATES NAVY | | http://www.ronthewarhero.org |

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Bizzare OT "win"
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:09 +0200
Message-ID: <ulve8vsmb6qpaqrb07lp7n6qmdbslidh3p@4ax.com>

From: noscieno@aol.com (NoScieno)
Subject: Bizzare OT "win"
Date: Sat, 24 Apr 1999 14:02:48 -0500
Message-ID: <37221652.0@news2.lightlink.com>

From _ADVANCE!_ # 141:

"After I had finished New OT IV, I was feeling great.

On my second day back home, I woke up in the morning extremely excited about the day ahead. It was springtime, it was beautiful, the birds were singing. So I ran downstairs to fix myself a cup of coffee and start the day.

"I was standing at the stove about to put on the kettle when I looked down and realized I didn't have any hands. Then suddenly I heard this 'thump, thump, thump.'

"It was my body falling down the stairs!" -- K. S.

They pay money for this, huh?

Nosey -- NoScieno accepts NoMail (spam block) Try "Thynkr"(same.isp) "Lawsonomy is an oasis of Truth in the midst of a desert of lies.

It is for all thirsty minds and it is your fault, not mine, if you do not partake of it copiously. My duty was to prepare it for you.

Your duty is to absorb it and teach it and utilize its great power to strengthen yourself and others." -- Alfred William Lawson http://www.lawsonomy.org/

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Oat Tee Light Bulb
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:09 +0200
Message-ID: <mhve8vkovc5lv5617gkn4edjara6jhou7h@4ax.com>

(Source page nineteen, _Advance_ # 138, Oct/Nov. '98)

From: noscieno@aol.com (NoScieno)
Subject: Oat Tee Light Bulb
Date: 1998/11/02
Message-ID: <MPG.10a7eab3324bb6b1989692@news2.lightlink.com>#1/1
Organization: ARSCC Skunk-Works

From _Advance_ # 138, "OT Phenomena"

"I am becoming more and more cause as I move up The Bridge.

It just permeates how I live these days. And because I am more in control my prediction is very good in all kinds of ways, from the more complex to the more simple. Here's a typical example, just a little thing but nevertheless it illustrates what I mean.

"I was about to go shopping with my roommate. We had made our list and gone over it, but just as we were about to leave I realized that the porch light was going to burn out in the next few minutes. I knew we were out of light bulbs and so I told my roommate to put light bulbs on the list. He wondered why I was adding it at the last minute and I simply said that the porch light was going to burn out in the next few minutes.

"He looked at me like I was a little strange but wrote down light bulbs on the list. Then we got our stuff together and headed straight for the door. Right as I opened the door the porch light blew out. I turned round and looked at him and smiled and said it was a good thing we had light bulbs on the list."

-- A. R.

-- NoScieno accepts NoMail (spam block) Try "Thynkr"(same.isp)

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: A New OT Power: Falling Down
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:09 +0200
Message-ID: <mgve8voqfngpcupdnmrgn2b6735fce9acp@4ax.com>

From: Steve Jebson <naismith@spam_blocker.sprintmail.com>
Subject: A New OT Power: Falling Down
Date: Sun, 13 Jul 1997 03:09:27 -0700
Message-ID: <33C8A957.7F7E@spam_blocker.sprintmail.com>

I see many exotic OT wins in Co$ pubs and don't usually post them, but this one was just too good to pass up. From the current issue (131) of Advance!, page 22:

I had been using the ethics conditions to sort out a situation I was in and experienced a huge win, a major breakthrough. I was so keyed out that I ran down the passageway... However, I'd forgotten that in this particular passageway there were stairs, and right where the stairs were, the ceiling sloped down.

In my excitement I decided to leap to the bottom of the stairs, and I jumped. My head collided with the sloping ceiling at a very fast speed.

I was exterior and I remember thinking as soon as I perceived the impact, "That was a mistake!" I was completely aware of what was happening as my body flew through the air... Even though my body was in extreme danger, I had complete certainty I would be OK.

My body crashed to the floor, right where I knew it would. The back of my head smashed against the concrete floor. In "normal" circumstances my back should have snapped in half and my head should have been very badly damaged.

I went back into my body and I didn't feel much pain... and after a couple of minutes I got up off the ground and walked away. I didn't even have a bruise on my head. The onlookers were completely amazed and I took a huge win...

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: OT3 doesn't need distributor cap
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:09 +0200
Message-ID: <vfve8vcqcm4v9gj816hflas7tav6qq0lo5@4ax.com>

From: Bev <dbj1120@iag.net>
Subject: Re: Raiders of the Innermost Memories
Date: Fri, 01 Nov 1996 11:08:43 -0500
Message-ID: <327A208B.4AF9@iag.net>

From Advance (magazine for OT's) #127

An OT sharing some phenomenon obtained by using his powers

One day a friend and I (both of us are OT III) were doing a tuneup on my old car - new distributor cap, spark plugs, oil, the whole thing. After the tuneup we put the hood down and decided to give it a test drive around the block.

When we came back we opened up the hood, and we found out that somehow we had driven the car around the block without the distributor cap on - which is impossible! But not to a couple of OTs!

B.L.

Beverly

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Clear thinks he can grow new teeth
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:10 +0200
Message-ID: <620f8vgt13j8nb1vmbc195ipidmnfn6m0d@4ax.com>

From: martinh@islandnet.com (Martin Hunt)
Subject: More OT Wins!
Date: 4 May 1997 03:42:24 -0700
Message-ID: <rPEbzMdlgoXP092yn@islandnet.com>

I came across some more of those wonderful OT wins. These ones really knock your socks off:

"If Chapdelaine was confident of this achievement, [Ron] Howes was even more so. In an extraordinary interview which he gave a few days later, and which was published by the Psycho- logical Research Foundation (a Scientology offshoot in Phoenix, Arizona), he reveals touches of megalomania and in- tellectual hyper-confidence which are characteristic of the manic state achieved with a religious conversion. The content of the dialogue turns out to be, unfortunately, middle-grade science fiction, spiced with some muddled philosophy. I am quoting now some extended passages below so that the reader may judge the flavour for himself.

Q: What do you intend to do with your new powers?

Howes: They are not new. All I have done is to recover the full use of my control centres. I am reintegrating all my purposes, goals, postulates, effects, causes, until I have rid myself of all my agreements to be modi- fied cause.

Q: What is possible?

Howes: For me at the moment, anything and everything is possible. The only arbitrary is time. Now if I become other than what I am in the optimum state I may remove the arbitrary. Then everything, in an instant, is possible.

After a rather dull patch in which Howes delivers a homily on creativity, and a point where he hints at telepathic powers he is asked a series of questions about his supposed super- normal abilities. The answers, which at the time were counted as being historic, are worth quoting verbatim to give some idea of what people were hoping for, for themselves and for others, from the achievement of the state of Clear:

Q: What is your reading speed compared to what it was?

Howes: It's mighty fast and improving steadily every day. I noticed, and my wife remarked upon it, that I seemed to be turning the pages about three times as fast. My comprehension of printed material has gone up enormously compared to the past. The more difficult paragraphs in technical reading are very easy now. No confusion, no identity, no failure. My ability to pick up errors in judgement of other people on paper is much higher.

Q: Can you be affected by bacteria?

Howes: I still believe that there are bacteria which I can't resist, but there must be many bacteria that I can resist now that I could never resist before.

Q: What do you contemplate as your duration of life?

Howes: In chronological years, if my anti-gravity plan works, I would assume approximately another four hundred years. Under present circumstances, one hundred and a quarter.

Q: What experiments have you performed on yourself?

One of them concerns such a simple little thing as sunburn. I had been sunburned approximately a full year, continuously, in my life. In the past had I taken even as much as fifty milligrams of niacin, I'd have burnt like a furnace for days. Now, after running out of sunburn, I can take niacin to my heart's con- tent. No more sunburn. The other night I loaded my- self with 400 milligrams of niacin - no blush, no heat, no pallor, no sunburn.

Another experiment concerns changing the total pH of the body. One very definitely affects ability by changing the balance between acidity and alkalin- ity. I'm attempting to find out just how alkaline I can get and still be maximum cause.

I've also tried to see if I can regenerate teeth. For the moment I've got some very sore gums but no teeth. Perry suggested to me, in a roundabout way, that I should regenerate teeth. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday I got extremely sore gums.

Teeth were pulled out. I've regenerated tissue. To the maximum extent I can. The soreness is now disap- pearing. The gums are much more healthy. Next point is what constitutes a seed tooth? I think it's possible to construct them again. Incidentally, I haven't decided what I am going to look like yet.

Q: Have you made any experiment with sleep?

Howes: Yes. I went forty-eight hours without it. There was no diminution of my enthusiasm and my control, but there was a definite lag physically. The body re- quires rest. Rest permits muscles, blood, nerves to undergo certain readjustments. Without this rest one might continue for possibly two weeks without sleep.

- pp 51-52 of Dr. Christopher Evans' _Cults of Unreason_.

Christ; there's a Niacin dosage for ya! He can "take as much" as he pleases, eh? I wonder how Ron Howes' liver is holding up these days? Or is he dead already? He should be still quite youthful, hardly a dent in his 400-year lifespan!

I wonder if his sleep "experiment" was the result of lower conditions?

No; I suppose this was all long before liability formulas.

You know, I often wish I could alter my pH at will, becoming more acidic or alkaline as the mood took me. There's a pile of .sig material in this collection of amazing wins with the tek. Druggies have these feelings, too; maybe Howes got the wins from Mescaline or something? ;-)

In any case, I fear for his mind. Delusions like this cannot be healthy.

-- Cogito, ergo sum. Just the FAQs: http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~av282 Books wanted: 1. Dianetics in Limbo by Helen O'Brien.

2. Scientology: What It Is And What It Does by Maurice Burrell.

3. The Official Handbook for Ex-Scientologists by Jim Samuels.

4. Scientology: The Technology of Enlightenment by Alexander, Brooks, et al.

5. Renunciation and Reformation: a Study of Conversion by Harriet Whitehead.

6. Inside Scientology by Robert Kaufman.

7. The Mindbenders by Cyril Vosper.

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Babysitting and Ghosts
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:10 +0200
Message-ID: <hsve8vseihndp4s4411ukr6dnifl1uq7i8@4ax.com>

From: Beverly Rice <dbj1120@iag.net>
Subject: Babysitting and Ghosts
Date: Sun, 21 Feb 1999 20:25:39 -0500
Message-ID: <36D0B213.3660@iag.net>

From ADVANCE #140; OT Phenomena

"I was planning on going out of town for a couple of days, and instead of carting my three sons to a relative's house, I invited my sister to come and stay with them - but had no idea what she was in for over those two days!

The first night I was gone, the phone rang in the middle of the night. My oldest son got up to get it, but someone had already picked it up. The next morning my son asked his brothers who answered. None of them did. They asked my sister. She hadn't either.

The next day while the boys were at school, my sister spent the afternoon out of the house. She returned shortly before the boys were to arrive home from school, and as she walked in she heard someone closing the bathroom door. As she approached the bathroom, the cat ran by as if someone was chasing it. No one was in the house at the time, except her - and she left rather rapidly after that episode!

Needless to say, this was one of the first things I heard about when I returned from my trip. I assured my sister I'd handle it, and she trusted that I would as she knew I was a scientologist and that I knew something about how to handle "ghosts".

Sure enough, there was someone hanging around. It was a thetan who had gotten into a fatal car accident at an intersection right by the house. He was confused and didn't know where he was or what was happening, so I gave him a locational and told him what was going on and what to do. Off he went. I then let my sister know all was clear - but she never came around to babysit for me any more!" L.R.

Beverly

X-Posting-Agent: Hamster/1.3.23.4 From: Michael 'Mike' Gormez <mikeNO@SPAMwhyaretheydead.net>
Subject: Stupid OT Wins: The Internet Is Useful!
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2003 01:40:10 +0200
Message-ID: <2sve8vclat9up3e99b52gbrtg5v5ko80le@4ax.com>

From: "Gandalf" <BasicQuestions@yahoo.com>
Subject: Stupid OT Wins: The Internet Is Useful!
Message-ID: <f5ln9.40512$Pz.34203@rwcrnsc51.ops.asp.att.net>
Date: Fri, 04 Oct 2002 18:28:27 GMT

This OT win comes comes from Advance 160. It's might be sadder than funny, but it does demonstrate the incredibly bizarre mindset Scientologists can pick up.

"I was restoring an architecturally significant house from 1929. To complete the job I needed three very rare handmade tiles to match tiles already embedded in the stucco around the front door. After considerable research, hours and hours of work, I found out the name of the company that had made the tiles all those years ago. But unfortunately, I also found out the business had come to an end in the 1930s and no stocks from those days were available. After all 72 years had passed!"

[Sounds like a BIG problem! WWRD (What would Ron do)? Well that's obvious--sounds like it's time to break out those trusty OT Powers.]

"I simply disagreed. I was not interested in not finding the tiles and completing my work. Determined to find the exact tiles from way back then, I decided to cut the Q and A and find them. Mocking them up again would have delayed the project and would have been tremendously expensive."

[Yes, it would be foolish to simply cause the tiles to materialize.

~Anybody~ could do it ~that~ way. No, this OT was too shrewd to be sucked into a mere parlor trick. Yup, he's going to find 'em!]

"So I went online, and immediately found an antique tile auction. Contacting the company, I found that they had the exact tiles I need, and the exact number: THREE. The person at the company said they were extremely rare -- I knew that. So I purchased them and after they were installed, neighbors assumed I had the tiles painstakingly copied, but simply postulating finding the exact tiles, and then finding them, was the OT solution to the problem."

D.L.

Now, I don't know about you but this story sends shivers down my spine. I mean, it just screams OTs ARE POWERFUL! Who would have thought that if you ~need~ something, you can go on the ~Internet~ to find a ~company~ where you can ~purchase~ the items you need? Not this lowly wog--no sir.

On a more serious note, this is frankly a bit scary to me for two reasons.

Here's a person who submitted this story as an example of "OT Phenomena" and apparently genuinely believes it. While that's frightening, what's absolutely incredible is that the staff that puts together Advance! magazine actually published it. Apparently this is among the cream of OT Phenomena.

Gandalf

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