Subject: Still in pain... :(
Organization: Operation Clambake
Message-ID: <uu9lbtk1cuiu47gh8tpubumbt0a4edi24i@4ax.com>
Date: Fri, 23 Mar 2001 01:35:56 GMT
This was posted to the Message Board at Operation Clambake
(www.xenu.net) today:
[START]
By: Anon Girl
Thursday, March 22, 2001 - 08:13 pm
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About a year ago I learned the truth about Scientology. I am
so grateful to have found this and other websites exposing
Scientology. I feel like I have been given my freedom back in
so many ways.
Probably the best thing is my attitude towards life and other people. Scientology teaches people to be very judgmental.
After discovering the truth I have read so many things about coming out of a cult and changing your mind set. It is so wonderful to not judge people anymore. It is so wonderful to realize that everyone has problems and I am no better than anyone else. I do not look down on anyone now. Even if someone does something I don't necessarily agree with I think to myself "I have never been in their shoes. I don't know what they went through." My personality has changed so much.
However, learning the truth about Scientology has also caused me immense pain. I believe it is because all the terrible times I went through are finally being acknowledged (by me!) and I can no longer deny the wrong that was done to me. Every single day that I go through Scientology is on my mind.
I feel regret for a childhood lost to the Sea Org. I can't believe at the time when I should have been in high school and having the time of my life just being a teenager I was working 7 days a week. All I can do is try not to look back...
Some of the closest people to me are involved with Scientology still. I feel like it is killing me not to be able to tell them what I have discovered and believe so strongly.
When you know someone is harming themselves and their family how can you not tell them? It is a struggle every day. If I was to voice my opinion I fear disconnection.
I wish their was a solution. It seems like the pain would fade with time but to me it seems to be growing.
Good luck to all former Scientologists and Sea Org members. I know the pain you feel.
[END]
Best wishes,
Andreas Heldal-Lund, Nunsteinvegen 9, N-4056 Tananger, Norway
Pho: +47 90 04 32 99 Fax: 90 32 35 46 E-mail: ahl@xenu.net
home.sol.no/~spirous www.xenu.net www.hedning.no/hedning
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"If anyone can show me, and prove to me, that I am wrong in
thought or deed, I will gladly change. I seek the truth, which
never yet hurt anybody. It is only persistence in self-delusion
and ignorance which does harm." -- Marcus Aurelius
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