"The Daily Texan", University of Texas--Austin, 2/25/1998 ==================== 02/25/1998 A critical review of the founding treatises of Scientology Roahn Wynar TEXAN COLUMNIST It's always fun to discover a new reason to write about Scientology.

The first reason was that the German government was cracking down on Scientology's obvious exploitation of as many weak-minded Europeans as the group could find. The second reason was that a renegade Scientologist began peddling his own cult on campus called Avatar through the Texas Union. Now, the third reason is the inane billboard on the West Mall, opening the door to further analysis of the intellectual farce known as Dianetics.

The billboard recommends we read Dianetics: the Evolution of a Science written by L. Ron Hubbard in 1950. Our copy has a cartoon picture of some men loading up a funny spaceship with crates. In order to save the student body time, we will summarize this work and make an unprecedented attempt at literary deconstruction. Although the word "deconstruction" turns our stomachs, we will try anything once.

Evolution of a Science begins with a discussion about the brain being an "optimum computing machine." He divines that our brains are imperfect because they are "abberated" and that if these aberrations could be eliminated, i.e. the patient "cleared," then an optimum personality would be manifest. Hubbard claims a complete understanding of the mind. His purely scientific methodology includes clever methods like punching a subject in the face and seeing if he could remember the pain (Page 39). He cites Ladies' Home Journal and Reader's Digest as good sources of truth.

Needless to say, Hubbard's claim to scientific legitimacy is utterly void and aimed only at the most gullible and naive.

His main point seems to be that "the by-pass circuits and the reactive bank apparently stand only between the conscious banks and the analyzer." The entire book is written in illiterate drivel of this nature. Traumatic memories called "engrams" fill the "reactive bank"

shortly before you are conceived and they continuously collect thereafter. Yes, that's right, before you are conceived. The so-called techniques of Dianetics will purge you of your engrams.

How is this done? By using a Whetstone bridge which they renamed an "e-meter," and paying Scientology a lot of money for a process called "auditing." The cost of auditing to the higher levels is well over $100,000.

Who needs the treatment? Everyone, because, you see, birth itself produces an engram.

Now for the deconstruction part. Hubbard was a failed Navy officer, driven out of the service due to incompetence. He attempted to study at George Washington University and failed there as well. His arguably good science fiction writing was never profitable at a penny a word.

His wife was sent to jail, his kid committed suicide. Exam question:

Considering the life of L. Ron Hubbard, can you explain why forgetting painful memories is the central theme of his church?

Of all the easily available works by Hubbard, Evolution of a Science is the most inane. We would rather search for more encrypted Bible Code messages in the Old Testament than re-read this book.

To maintain an A-frame on the West Mall, you must be a registered student organization. Is it even remotely conceivable that college students in their quest for knowledge and truth could be diverted into Dianetics like so many ducks to a decoy?

Answer: Of course. Three students have registered the University Dianetics and Scientology Assn. This is the group to join if you want to start on a long and costly road to nowhere.

Wynar is graduate student in physics.

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