TORY in HEAVEN




Camera pans in, past bright fluffy (cool) clouds.

Tory is kicked back, sucking up a crème soda ,and typing emails to her hundreds of admirers from the keyboard on her lap.

Big booming voice sounds "THIS IS GOD TORY, would you like me to peel you a grape".

( God had just gone to see 'That dirty Blond' at The Theatre on the Square in San Francisco, all about Mae West. God LOVED Mae West she was his kind of woman.
God continues talking, while enveloping Tory in a soft white mist... "THAT WAS SURE A GOOD CHOICE YOU MADE A WHILE BACK KID, and floats another peeled grape to Tory ,and puts a few ice cubes in her crème soda.
ALL OF A SUDDEN a muffled Bammmmm... Bang... . Scorrrrrch...

sizzle... sound comes from deep below.

And up through the clouds comes a flash of light and a huge burst of steam.

Tory jumps up and runs over to the view portal to hell to see whats going on.

"Man... you wouldn't believe it she says to God. David Miscavige has just shot another huge flame out of his ass! Man that's IMPRESSIVE."

Tory shouts down to Davy " Hey GOOD ONE DAVEY... . I'd pour you a crème soda but they just evaporate down there. Have a nice day anyway, maybe if you tell the truth once in a while you can get out of Hell some day... ,,,,,,,you moron"..

she tries to get God to look.

God says "don't bother me I'm busy, a bunch of the boys are telling me war stories".

Camera pans over to a distant cloud covering a tall lush green peak in the Ande's. camera zooms in ... . Its ARNIE!, Lawrence! , hey its all the guys?

Everyone who ever said the truth! Marilyn was there, even Cindy Lauper! Amazing even Roland was lounging around. (God gave him a reprieve because he didn't lie, but we all knew what an asshole he was)... God didn't care though... He said to Roland. "Roland you dumb shit, have crème soda on me"... .

And God made the rounds that way, to Sten, and Caroline, and to Dennis, and Dave.. and Keith, and Arel.. and all the Greggs and Virginia's, and Joes and Sues who ever said the truth.... and to all those who died telling the truth, Martin in Memphis, and a thousand more... it was an impressive group, grown men cried just looking at them all. These people stood tall for some reason.

God could never understand Roger, but he did such a fine job in France that he handed Roger a crème soda too and said "thanks Roger for all those inane remarks". God has a sense of humor you know.

And I was there, God said to me, " Phil you already went through hell, and you were also hell on a flat track, you know I was with you there son, and you SCREWED over the Dept of Energy BIG TIME, and I was with you there too (and I said I knew), " have a crème soda... in fact have a whole case of cold hard pear cider... its cool, its refreshing and it tastes like pears, and its got a little hooch in it too."

God was not a tea totaller apparently.

And then God walked over to Bob and said, "Bob, I want to thank you for all the plane tickets you gave to those in need. If you had not given all that money away you never would have made it you know." And Bob said hey where is MY crème soda.

And a 6 pack, and a bucket of ice magically appeared, along with Stacy and two blonds to keep her on her toes.
Suddenly......! ( the screen goes black!!) , the camera is panning though dark smoke, ... ...

behold!

... . there is an orange flickering light in the distance. deep below.
and you could just feel the heat in your soul... ..this was not warm, this was serious heat.

flames appear.

( damn, we are apparently in Hell again..)
ZzzzzzzzzzzztT splaaaatttt.
A cool peeled grape hits the red hot stones and vaporizes.
Back in Heaven. Tory ... .looking though the portal to hell, sipping on her creme soda says, "MAN..... no matter what you try to do for these guys it doesn't work".
Phil Scott

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