Computers have come a long way since this newsgroup was started in the early 90's. CPU power has increased 100 fold and this has allowed a much higher standard of graphics.

Because of this, I think its time to upgrade David Miscavige's image from the once adequate (*) to a more meaningful moniker.

I would suggest this: (_!_) It shows a tight, rear entry location like he had AFTER healing from LRH but BEFORE the Internet. However, nowdays, something like this is more appropriate: (_o_) or Ouch! (_*_) Or even this: (_O_) on a bad day for example.

Eventually though, it will have to look like this: (_()_) As things, figuratively speaking of course, come apart at the seams.

And for those who run afoul of Miscavige's nasty temper, we have this symbol: (_oo_) Denoting the "tearing of an extra one"

I hope the central committee will take seriously this attempt to upgrade their graphics.

Thank you.

>>I hope the central committee will take seriously this attempt to
>>upgrade their graphics.
>>Thank you.

>I hear from 'informed sources' that your admirable suggestions have been
>rejected by the CC Graphics Division for reasons of bandwidth (they're still
>fighting the 2 space after a period war)
Oh geeze, we're still pissing and moaning about "bandwidth" even in 21st century.
>Tom Collin's pithy (*) remains the symbol for the bandwidth deprived dwarf, so
>as not to exaggerate his megolomania. (any more than it is)
I'll jump in here and take a bit of credit for the creation of the (*) symbol, or at least for helping to inspire it.

After seeing some of Dave Bird's terrific LRH ASCII art, I postulated that the "Rear" Admiral should be depicted in ASCII art, too. But I thought he should be depicted as Grady Ward depicted him in words, as obsessed with, yet secretly awaiting and anticipating some public buggery.

So I showed the poodle thusly, showing his bendoverness, as it pertains to his being preparedness to get the shaft, as it were.

_ _ ( )*( ) | | | |
The '*" symbol for the all important asshole came straight out of Kurt Vonnegut's "Breakfast of Champions." As the visual center of the piece, the asshole commands the viewer's attention. In fact, the * asshole symbol here, is the perfect essence of David Miscavige.

Note the scrawny little legs, the body bent over at the waist, and the rear view with both cheeks clearly delineated.

But, as everyone here is a critic (duh!), someone suggested that my ASCII art needed a tiny penis and scrotum. Various glyphs were tried, but best one, IMO was the '%' character, which makes for an admittedly crooked little shaft, but hey, Miscavige IS a crooked little shafter, so I think it fits.

_ _ ( )*( ) | | % | |

There was also this version, which added a happy, expectant, smiling face looking back, to see when Bubba, his imaginary future cell mate was coming (and if so, how many times).

_ _ ( )*( ) (-:= | | % | |
I experimented with making the face unhappy or worried looking, but Miscavige has presided over so many acts of public buggery of Scientology's sakred skriptures on the Internet, that one has no choice but to assume he likes it. So a smiley face, it was.

I also very much like Frog2's suggestion about the all-important sphincter being reamed out to a much wider size. There have been several additional years of symbolic public buggery, after all.

_ _ ( )o( ) (-:= | | % | |
He's still smiling, although pretty soon, if things keep going the way they're going, nothing's gonna even touch the sides.
Even as "fine" ASCII art, this symbol didn't give people everything they wanted. What they wanted was a one-line emoticon, which could be used and inserted with written text.

So the emoticon symbol for David Miscavige, the Napolean of Nutz, the lawn ornament, the asthmatic dwarf, the poodle, the Tidy Bowl Man, the "Rear" Admiral, eventually became simply (*).



Michael Reuss
Honorary Kid

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