Scientology --- From Warrior: Scientology lied to me over and over for years

From Warrior: Scientology lied to me over and over for years

Webbed at: http://www.entheta.net/entheta/1stpersn/warrior/1997-003.html Scientology lied to me over and over for years I have been involved with many churches in my lifetime.

When I was young I was blessed in the Central Christian Church. My father and mother were active members there. They were married in that church. My paternal grandparents were also members there and were quite active, having established a ministerial scholarship. My father sang in the choir there until his untimely death at the young age of 22.

After my father's death, my mother eventually remarried a man in the US Air Force, and we moved to New England. There I was raised in the Congregational Church in a small town with a population of about 2000 people.

I was active in the church, singing in the choir. I also belonged to the youth group called the Christian Youth Fellowship. I also attended Sunday school regularly.

In the 60s I went to live with my grandfather for a couple of years. During that time I attended the Methodist Church, again actively participating in the choir.

In 1967 I was to move again, this time back to the town where I had been born. As a teenager I began to explore other religious beliefs, starting with Unitarianism. Then the Tao. Then Buddhism.

While there was much truth and wisdom to be gained from my association with, and study of all religious beliefs, I remained a Christian in practice.

It was during the late 60s that I had my first contact with Scientology. I believed _wrongly_ that a person could continue to be a Christian and to practice Scientology. After all, I had never been lied to before by any organization calling itself a church. So when the registrar at the Class IV Org told me I could continue to worship as a Christian _and_ be a Scientologist I took him at his word. I was told that there was no conflict between Scientology and Christianity -- that the two beliefs were compatible. In fact I was told that a person could be *both* a Scientologist _and_ a Christian at the same time, since Scientology was an "applied religious philosophy"

and the study of "knowing how to know" things, whether it was our relation with the Creator, our origins, our destination after physical death, etc.

In other words, Scientology held itself out (through the Executive Director, the Public Officer, the Course Supervisor, the Registrar and others whom I had contact with) to be 100% compatible with *any* religion.

Well, it has been 30 years now since I first began my study of Scientology.

I will admit that I was very skeptical at first, and that during the first 6 years after the time I first heard about Scientology, I was not very actively or seriously studying the subject.

In 1973 I signed a staff contract at the local Class IV Org. I worked evenings and weekends as a Foundation (nighttime and weekends) staff member. I had a day job that I was not going to give up since I was worried about how much my pay would be as a staff member of Scientology. My worries turned out to be well-founded.

I will never forget how astonished and disbelieving I was when payday came after my first week as a staff member. I had worked approximately 48 hours my first week. My pay was $7.00... Granted, I was a newbie with much to learn; but then I was earning about $120 - $150 per week managing a restaurant for my day job which I put in an average of 40 - 50 hrs/wk.

At only $3.00 per hour, my day job wasn't making me rich either, but at least I was able to work my schedule around my classes at the University, and food was available to me at what it cost the restaurant owner. So I was happy.

In 1975 I joined the Sea Organization of the "Church" of Scientology.

That turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life.

I didn't realize it at the time of signing my contract, but the Sea Org Recruiter (Steve Grant) from ASHO Day had lied to me about every aspect of the Sea Organization's living conditions.

1) He lied about the facilities for child care (at that time referred to as the Cadet Org). I was told that there was a day care facility to look after my child, and that upon my arrival in ASHO, my child would be placed in this day care center while I worked. Upon my arrival to the Sea Org in LA, I discovered that the Cadet Org (on Melrose Avenue at that time) was absolutely filthy. It was understaffed. Many babies (infants and toddlers) wandered around in the lobby, apparently under the care of the *receptionist*!! I was disgusted. This "day care" facility was obviously in violation of health codes. What I saw was utter neglect, filth and stench. Several babies were crawling on the tiled floor. They were filthy and in need of having their diapers changed. And at the time that I walked into the building and into the lobby, there was *no one* even there to keep their eyes on the children.

2) He lied about pay and bonuses that I would receive, saying that base pay was not all we received, but that we would get bonuses for good production.

Bonuses were all but non-existent. Oh I do recall getting a $2.50 "bonus" once!

What the recruiter (and everyone else) failed to tell me was that there would be *many* weeks that we would receive _NO_ pay.

3) He lied to me about the food we would be served, and he even stated that every "mess" had its own "Steward" to serve us. The food was actually very bland and boring most of the time. We had no posted "Steward" for our mess.

In reality the "Stewards" were the members of the "mess" we were assigned to.

We all held the job of "Steward" on a rotational basis, for one week at a time.

4) He lied about time off from post. I had been told I would be given time to pursue my interests in music, that I would be given weekends off, and that nighttimes were my own time when I wasn't on course. In reality, staff never got more than one day per week off. Usually it was half of a Saturday, every other week. When we were not on post we were ordered onto study or auditing ("enhancement time").

5) He lied about how much time I would be allowed to spend with my child.

During the first two years in the Sea Org, I wasn't even allowed to live with my kid. Since his mother wasn't allowed to join the Sea Org, my child was not allowed to be in the Cadet Org. (My wife wasn't on staff since *after* signing a Sea Org contract and driving 1400 miles to LA, she was told she had a "psych history".

6) He lied about berthing conditions. Since my wife was not allowed in the Sea Org, I had to live in a dorm at the 7th floor of the Hollywood Inn (at 6724 Hollywood Blvd) with 8 other guys crammed in one room with only _one_ bathroom facility that we all shared. We all slept in bunkbeds stacked 3-high.

My wife and son lived miles away on N. Robinson Ave. in a house that they shared with Ray Peck (ASHO Fdn staff) and Ruthie Weissberg and her son David.

(Ruthie was ASHO Day staff.)

The room I lived in was small and smelly. It was basically a place to sleep. I kind of felt like I had a slot on a shelf to park my weary bones before reporting back to duty a few hours later.

There is so much more that I could say, but the point I wanted to make is that the only church that ever lied to me was the "church" of Scientology.

And that I was lied to over and over and over again through the almost 8 years I was a Sea Org member. This post only deals with a few of the initial lies I was told in order to dupe me into signing a Sea Org contract.

More later...

Warrior - For the rest of this story, see the following URLs:

http://www.entheta.net/entheta/1stpersn/warrior/1997-004.html
http://www.entheta.net/entheta/1stpersn/warrior/1997-005.html
http://www.entheta.net/entheta/1stpersn/warrior/1997-006.html
http://www.entheta.net/entheta/1stpersn/warrior/1997-007.html
http://www.entheta.net/entheta/1stpersn/warrior/1997-035.html

>Warrior wrote:
>> I have been involved with many churches in my lifetime.
>>
>> When I was young I was blessed in the Central Christian Church. My father
>> and mother were active members there. They were married in that church. My
>> paternal grandparents were also members there and were quite active, having
>> established a ministerial scholarship. My father sang in the choir there
>> until his untimely death at the young age of 22.
>>
>> After my father's death, my mother eventually remarried a man in the
>> US Air Force, and we moved to New England. There I was raised in the
>> Congregational Church in a small town with a population of about 2000 people.
>> I was active in the church, singing in the choir. I also belonged to the
>> youth group called the Christian Youth Fellowship. I also attended Sunday
>> school regularly.
>>
>> In the 60s I went to live with my grandfather for a couple of years. During
>> that time I attended the Methodist Church, again actively participating in
>> the choir.
>>
>> In 1967 I was to move again, this time back to the town where I had been
>> born. As a teenager I began to explore other religious beliefs, starting
>> with Unitarianism. Then the Tao. Then Buddhism.
>>
>> While there was much truth and wisdom to be gained from my association
>> with, and study of all religious beliefs, I remained a Christian in practice.
>>
>> It was during the late 60s that I had my first contact with Scientology. I
>> believed _wrongly_ that a person could continue to be a Christian and to
>> practice Scientology. After all, I had never been lied to before by any
>> organization calling itself a church. So when the registrar at the Class IV
>> Org told me I could continue to worship as a Christian _and_ be a
>> Scientologist I took him at his word. I was told that there was no conflict
>>between Scientology and Christianity -- that the two beliefs were compatible.
>> In fact I was told that a person could be *both* a Scientologist _and_ a
>> Christian at the same time, since Scientology was an "applied religious
>> philosophy" and the study of "knowing how to know" things, whether it was
>> our relation with the Creator, our origins, our destination after physical
>> death, etc.
>>
>> In other words, Scientology held itself out (through the Executive
>> Director, the Public Officer, the Course Supervisor, the Registrar and
>> others whom I had contact with) to be 100% compatible with *any* religion.
>>
>> Well, it has been 30 years now since I first began my study of Scientology.
>> I will admit that I was very skeptical at first, and that during the first
>> 6 years after the time I first heard about Scientology, I was not very
>> actively or seriously studying the subject.
>If you considered yourself a committed Christian, what were you dabbling
>in other religions for? When was the first time you learned that "past
>lifes" were addressed in Scientology?
I was open to the possibility that there were answers to be found outside of, and in addition to what I had learned from Christianity.

I was told that Scientology was a "science of knowing how to know". And due to my curiosity and open-mindedness (and being naive) I did not want to miss any truths that might be learned elsewhere, including Scientology.

Some might consider that I was not that dedicated to my Christian beliefs.

Perhaps my faith did waiver at times. But I was always open to the possibility that I could be wrong in my beliefs. I _am_ willing to be wrong. I am not perfect after all.

What I did come to find is that most religions have many common beliefs.

Some things are just plain common sense. The Golden Rule is a good example.

"As you sew, so shall you reap" is another.

I had experienced many deja vu experiences throughout my lifetime. Even prior to any involvement with Scientology, I had come to accept that I had lived before. Probably the first time I learned that past lives were addressed in Scientology was 1973, at a Ron's Birthday event as I recall. I had been taught by my elders that early Christians believed in reincarnation. Right or wrong, I accepted this belief based on my own personal experiences.

>> In 1973 I signed a staff contract at the local Class IV Org. I worked
>> evenings and weekends as a Foundation (nighttime and weekends) staff
>> member. I had a day job that I was not going to give up since I was worried
>> about how much my pay would be as a staff member of Scientology. My worries
>> turned out to be well-founded.
>>
>> I will never forget how astonished and disbelieving I was when payday
>> came after my first week as a staff member. I had worked approximately 48
>> hours my first week. My pay was $7.00... Granted, I was a newbie with much
>> to learn; but then I was earning about $120 - $150 per week managing a
>> restaurant for my day job which I put in an average of 40 - 50 hrs/wk.
>> At only $3.00 per hour, my day job wasn't making me rich either, but at
>> least I was able to work my schedule around my classes at the University,
>> and food was available to me at what it cost the restaurant owner. So I
>> was happy.
>>
>> In 1975 I joined the Sea Organization of the "Church" of Scientology.
>>
>> That turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life.
>Why in the world did you stay on, knowing what staff pay was, and THEN
>join the Sea Org?
Because it was represented to me that conditions were different in the Sea Org. Sea Org orgs are on a base pay system with food, housing, medical, etc. (ref: Flag Order 732 _Crew Welfare_) *supposedly* provided. Class IV Orgs (now called Class V) are on a "proportional pay, or unit system. What this means to the uninformed, is that Class IV/V org staff provide their own food, housing, medical, and so forth out of the pay they receive.

Another equally important reason I stayed on is that I *believed* that Scientology was a group that was working to make a difference in the world in terms of improved conditions, making people saner, etc. I wanted to be part of a group that I perceived to be helping mankind by making the world a better place to live.

>> I didn't realize it at the time of signing my contract, but the Sea Org
>> Recruiter (Steve Grant) from ASHO Day had lied to me about every aspect
>> of the Sea Organization's living conditions.
>>
>> 1) He lied about the facilities for child care (at that time referred to as
>> the Cadet Org). I was told that there was a day care facility to look after
>> my child, and that upon my arrival in ASHO, my child would be placed in this
>> day care center while I worked. Upon my arrival to the Sea Org in LA, I
>> discovered that the Cadet Org (on Melrose Avenue at that time) was absolutely
>> filthy. It was understaffed. Many babies (infants and toddlers) wandered
>> around in the lobby, apparently under the care of the *receptionist*!! I
>> was disgusted. This "day care" facility was obviously in violation of health
>> codes. What I saw was utter neglect, filth and stench. Several babies were
>> crawling on the tiled floor. They were filthy and in need of having their
>> diapers changed. And at the time that I walked into the building and into the
>> lobby, there was *no one* even there to keep their eyes on the children.
>>
>> 2) He lied about pay and bonuses that I would receive, saying that base
>> pay was not all we received, but that we would get bonuses for good
>> production. Bonuses were all but non-existent. Oh I do recall getting a
>> $2.50 "bonus" once! What the recruiter (and everyone else) failed to tell
>> me was that there would be *many* weeks that we would receive _NO_ pay.
>>
>> 3) He lied to me about the food we would be served, and he even stated that
>> every "mess" had its own "Steward" to serve us. The food was actually very
>> bland and boring most of the time. We had no posted "Steward" for our mess.
>> In reality the "Stewards" were the members of the "mess" we were assigned to.
>> We all held the job of "Steward" on a rotational basis, for one week at a
>> time.
>>
>> 4) He lied about time off from post. I had been told I would be given time
>> to pursue my interests in music, that I would be given weekends off, and that
>> nighttimes were my own time when I wasn't on course. In reality, staff
>> never got more than one day per week off. Usually it was half of a Saturday,
>> every other week. When we were not on post we were ordered onto study or
>> auditing ("enhancement time").
>>
>> 5) He lied about how much time I would be allowed to spend with my child.
>> During the first two years in the Sea Org, I wasn't even allowed to live
>> with my kid. Since his mother wasn't allowed to join the Sea Org, my child
>> was not allowed to be in the Cadet Org. (My wife wasn't on staff since
>> *after* signing a Sea Org contract and driving 1400 miles to LA, she was told
>> she had a "psych history".
>>
>> 6) He lied about berthing conditions. Since my wife was not allowed in the
>> Sea Org, I had to live in a dorm at the 7th floor of the Hollywood Inn (at
>> 6724 Hollywood Blvd) with 8 other guys crammed in one room with only _one_
>> bathroom facility that we all shared. We all slept in bunkbeds stacked 3-
>> high.
>>
>> My wife and son lived miles away on N. Robinson Ave. in a house that they
>> shared with Ray Peck (ASHO Fdn staff) and Ruthie Weissberg and her son David.
>> (Ruthie was ASHO Day staff.)
>> The room I lived in was small and smelly. It was basically a place to
>> sleep. I kind of felt like I had a slot on a shelf to park my weary bones
>> before reporting back to duty a few hours later.
>>
>> There is so much more that I could say, but the point I wanted to make
>> is that the only church that ever lied to me was the "church" of Scientology.
>> And that I was lied to over and over and over again through the almost 8
>> years I was a Sea Org member. This post only deals with a few of the initial
>> lies I was told in order to dupe me into signing a Sea Org contract.
>I find it rather incredible that you would stay in the Sea Org for 8
>years, after learning of the real conditions. What prevented you from
>leaving?
I know it does sound incredible. I joined the SO in November 1975 and left for good in September 1983. I had tried to leave in 1977, but was told by the SuperCargo (Alan Prager) at the time that I was an SP for wanting to leave.

The Personnel Enhancement Officer, Peggy Peden, told me I was psychotic.

Many other staff told me that if I left the Sea Org I would "pull in a horrible death", that "You *KNOW* that the SO is *THE* only valid game in the universe", that I would be condemned to an eternity of suffering, pain and unconsciousness if I "stepped off the road to truth", etc.

I was also sec-checked for about 40 hours on the HCO WW Form 1.

I also had a wife who wanted to be in the SO, and she didn't want me to leave either, saying that it would be the end of our 2D if I routed out.

Later on when I finally decided to leave the SO *and did*, my wife was by then a Sea Org member. She told me she wanted a divorce if I wasn't going to be part of the most "in-ethics group on the planet". This was in the early 80s. By then I had been betrayed so much by Scientology and the SO that I basically said. "FINE. If you want to be a part of this degraded and supprerssed/suppressive group, then GO AHEAD. But I am leaving."

There is so much more to tell. I will eventually tell it all. I just don't have the time right now. It is a long story to tell all that happened to me over 8 years. More later.

Warrior See http://www.entheta.net/entheta/1stpersn/warrior/

It is true that I accept some responsibility for my decision to have joined and to have stayed for so long in the Sea Org.

It is true that I *could* have physically left the Sea Org at any time I wanted, *IF* I had had the *mental* toughness (determination) to do so. This is not to say that *all* SO members are allowed to simply walk away whenever they choose. I have known SO members who have been restrained. I have known SO members who were put into isolation due to having experienced psychotic breaks while in the SO. I have known SO members who were locked up against their will and who demanded to be let out but were not, until they promised to "calm down".

I feel that the CoS does exert a mechanism of mind control on its' SO members through the use of threats, intimidation, the implanting of fear through various 'information' given. How and why people accept Scientology's methods are not completely understood by me. Certainly I have a better understanding now than I did 20 years ago when I first tried to leave the SO.

By 1977 I had been in the Sea Org for 2 years. My wife at that time was still not a Sea Org member, since she had been told 2 years before that she had a "psych history". This determination by the Sea Org execs at ASHO Day (namely the HCO Area Sec Jack Dirmann, the CO Irene Howey and the Assistant Guardian Richard Deere) was based upon the fact that my wife had been in the Beaumont Neurological center for something like 11 days as a teenager.

Her mother had erroneously thought that her daughter's lethargy was due to drug use and so had had her put into the facility for observation and evaluation. The facility realized that the problem she was having was due to hypoglycemia (abnormally low blood sugar levels) and had released her after completing it's observation, testing and evaluation. Important to note here is that my wife (now ex-wife) received *no* drugs, *no* shock therapy, *no* hypnosis during her brief stay in the neurological center. The SO was made aware of these facts, and indeed they had the opportunity to verify my wife's story. Whether the SO execs ever did bother to verify the information that had been given to them by my wife I am uncertain, but surely they *could* have checked out the "patient history" of my wife.

My wife, upon joining the Sea Org, had disclosed her stay in a "psychiatric hospital" on a questionnaire given by the SO. This was the basis upon which she had been classified as a "psych history case".

My wife *did* petition all the way to the Guardian World Wide Jane Kember, but ultimately her petition to be allowed to "activate" her SO contract was denied. Instead she was given an auditing and training program to complete prior to being allowed to join the SO. I have amongst my files of material from my SO days some of the correspondence on this matter. I even have a letter from the Commodore's (L. Ron Hubbard) Staff Guardian (CSG), Mary Sue Hubbard which refers to my wife's petition and program for entry into the SO.

Getting back now...

Here I will say that at the very beginning of our time during our life in LA, we were *briefly* (a few days) allowed to stay in the Hollywood Inn. This was accomplished by moving Tony Cifarelli *out* of his room (over his loud protests).

It was reasoned by the Berthing I/C that since Tony's wife Patty was at the Guardian Office World Wide in England on an extended training "cycle" that Tony did not need a room all to himself. So his belongings were moved out of his room to make room for my wife, son and myself. This only lasted for a few days.

Shortly after that I was placed in a dorm with 8 other SO members (some of my roommates included Tom Gonzales and Tom Black).

My wife and son went to live on N. Robinson Ave, which is just down the street (Temple Street) about half a mile from where ASHO was at that time (2723 W Temple Street). She lived in a house with Ruthie Weissberg, who was the Distribution Secretary ASHO Day. Also living there was Ruthie's son, David and a fellow named Ray Peck, who was an (SO) ASHO Fdn Letter Registrar Typist.

My wife worked various jobs during this time including working for Metropolitan Adjustment Bureau (MAB), which was a credit collection agency where lots of Scientologists worked, and she worked with a woman named Penny Valente cleaning houses.

So after about 2 years I told the MAA that I wanted to leave the Sea Org because my "2D" was suffering from a lack of "create". (We didn't have a real family in reality, due to the fact that we could't live together.)

As a result of my wanting to leave the SO, I naturally was ordered to a "Sec Check". What I got was the HCO WW Form 1. As I recall I was security checked approximately 2 hours per day for about 3-4 weeks. Some days I didn't get into the "Sec Check" session due to my "unsessionability" (from lack of sleep the night before), or due to the auditor(s) being unavailable. I remember one of my auditors was a student at ASHO named Armand Citarella.

Another auditor I had was Jo Plunkett (now Struthers, and now a Class XII C/S and OT 8).

At the end of approximately 40 hours of sec checking I *still* wanted to leave the SO. The truth is that I didn't have any "overts" on the group. And the sec check didn't change the fact that my wife was *still* not being allowed in the SO. So I still had the same problem.

But the fact is that Hubbard wrote a policy letter called "Leaving and Leaves"

in which he stated that "People leave because of their own overts and withholds.

That is the factual fact and the hardbound rule." So naturally, everyone on the technical "lines" (posts, or positions) _had_ to find out what "terrible things I had done".

This just goes to show the level of robotism when applying Hubbard's "tech".

Forget about the fact that I had a "continuing PTP" (present time problem) of not being able to "mock up" a "2D". Forget about the fact that the policies on "institutional cases with psych history" was being mis-interpreted in my wife's case. Hubbard said that those who want to leave "overts and withholds".

It was during this time that I was wanting to leave the Sea Org that I was given this very long "Sec Check". As I recall, it has 230 questions on it, and deals with crimes committed in this lifetime as well as in previous lives. I could be mistaken in my recollection about the HCO WW Form 1 having this many questions. This form was not the only one that was used. One form I recall being used on me had been a hand-written "custom made" sec check, apparently designed by the ASHO Day Case Supervisor, probably either Barbara Rubio (Snr C/S and Class IX) or Parran Dabney (Class VI C/S). Another sec check I was given had to do with money.

I answered the questions honestly and thoroughly. I had *nothing* to hide.

Several times the Sec Checker" (mostly Armand Citarella) demanded that I "take another look" at the question. He demanded that I *must not* be telling all that there was to be told in response to the sec check questions. Basically what was happening is that I was getting *very* "ARCXen" (upset) by the insistence that I wasn't coming clean. In reality, I was being sec checked by a Briefing Course student who was making "GAEs" (gross auditing errors) and who was committing Auditor's Code Violations (although Scientology will say that the Auditor's Code does *not* apply to sec checks).

I do remember being given an L1C ("List One Correction") and some other garbage to clean up my upsets. But all in all, the whole process didn't handle my desire to leave the SO. After all the sec checking, I still wanted to leave.

I had figured that I had done my part in co-operating. I had told everyone involved that my problem was that I was not able to create a family life. No one believed my reason for wanting to leave.

It was also during this time I was told by the S/C (Supercargo) ASHO Day, Alan Prager that I was an SP. And the Personnel Enhancement Officer, Peggy Peden told me I was psychotic. Other staff execs told me that should I leave that I would "pull in" my death because I "knew" that I would be committing a huge overt by leaving the group, the Sea Org.

In 1977, during this time of wanting to leave, I was naturally put into a "lower condition" of "DOUBT", also in accordance with L. Ron Hubbard's policies. As a condition of being placed in "DOUBT", I received *NO PAY* for 17 weeks!! (The duration of my assignment of a "lower condition").

In addition, I was *still* ordered to be on post (naturally) and working approximately 100 hours per week. I was beginning to really "cave in"

completely.

I was sitting on the rear of the seat and holding onto a big bag of money (about 20,000).

We were headed westbound on 7th Street (it was one-way west) and had stopped at a red light at the intersection of Seventh and Alvarado Street. When the light turned green, to be continued...

Warrior See http://www.entheta.net/entheta/1stpersn/warrior/

>Warrior wrote:
>> 1) He lied about the facilities for child care (at that time
>> referred to as the Cadet Org). I was told that there was a day care
>> facility to look after my child, and that upon my arrival in ASHO, my
>> child would be placed in this day care center while I worked. Upon my
>> arrival to the Sea Org in LA, I discovered that the Cadet Org (on
>> Melrose Avenue at that time) was absolutely filthy. It was
>> understaffed. Many babies (infants and toddlers) wandered around in
>> the lobby, apparently under the care of the *receptionist*!! I
>> was disgusted. This "day care" facility was obviously in violation of
>> health codes. What I saw was utter neglect, filth and stench. Several
>> babies were crawling on the tiled floor. They were filthy and in need
>> of having their diapers changed. And at the time that I walked into
>> the building and into the lobby, there was *no one* even there to keep
>> their eyes on the children.
>Reminds me of the Clearwater story from the the ARD documentation. How
>did you react to this? What about the other parent - did they really
>care that little about their children?
>Sorry, but such are messages horrifying.
>
>[snip]
Let me give a little background. I had just driven over 1400 miles to report to the Sea Org in LA. The first day I had driven 600+ miles, and the second day I had driven 800+ miles. Upon arriving in LA, I stopped at a service station on Vermont Avenue and called the HCO Area Sec. (HAS) of the American Saint Hill Organization (ASHO), Jack Dirmann. I was dead tired from the trip. I could barely keep my eyes open. My expectation had been to have a room to check in to and get some sleep, since I had telephoned earlier that day and explained that I would need some sleep. A few days earlier, the ASHO Day Recruiter, Steve Grant had promised me that a room would be ready and waiting for me and my family upon arrival in LA. So this phone call was to get directions from where I was on Vermont Avenue to ASHO, which was at 2723 West Temple Street at that time.

I was told to turn around on Vermont Avenue and then head east on Temple Street which I did, Arriving at ASHO with my wife and 11 month old son, we were led over to the Cadet Org building which was on Melrose Avenue. Supposedly there was a room there for me to crash out in.

My first contact with the Cadet Org was on this day. I had been promised a room of my own. Instead what I got was a wild goose chase. First I had been told to go to ASHO, then the Cadet Org, and then the Hollywood Inn at 6724 Hollywood Blvd.

But I'm getting ahead of the story...

Upon my arrival at the Cadet Org and seeing the degraded conditions there, I complained that I would not have my kid there. I was so disgusted that I had a mind to turn around and drive back to where I had come from. The problem was that I didn't have enough money to get very far, or I most likely would have left right then and there. I made it very clear to the people at the Cadet Org that I had enjoyed a very comfortable life where I had come from and that what I was seeing was *not* at all what I had been told it was like. I felt *very* *VERY* upset that I had left a good scene for a degraded one.

As it turns out, our son was not allowed to be in the Cadet Org because the execs at ASHO said that my wife had a "psych history" and thus she was not allowed to "activate" her Sea Org contract! (that had already been signed and witnessed) Since my wife was not in the Sea Org, then our child was not allowed to "route in" either. We had to make our own arrangements for child care.

Perhaps as a result of our complaining of the conditions at the Cadet Org, the Sea Org execs may have decided we were trouble...Maybe they didn't want us to see more of what was going on at the Cadet Org. Who knows?

What I *do* know is that my wife and I were lied to extensively about almost every aspect of Sea Org living conditions for adults and the children.

Warrior See http://www.entheta.net/entheta/1stpersn/warrior/

Her mother had erroneously attributed her daughter's lethargy to drug use and so had had her put into the facility for observation and evaluation. The facility realized that the problem she was having was due to hypoglycemia (abnormally low blood sugar levels) and had released her after completing it's observation, testing and evaluation. Important to note here is that my wife (now ex-wife) received *no* drugs, *no* shock therapy, *no* hypnosis during her brief stay in the neurological center.

The SO was made aware of these facts, and indeed they had the opportunity to verify my wife's story. Whether the SO execs ever did bother to verify the information that had been given to them by my wife I am uncertain, but surely they *could* have checked out the "patient history" of my wife.

My wife, upon joining the Sea Org, had disclosed her brief stay in a "psychiatric hospital" on a questionnaire given by the SO. This was the basis upon which she had been classified as a "psych history case".

My wife *did* petition all the way to the Guardian World Wide Jane Kember, but ultimately her petition to be allowed to "activate" her SO contract was denied.

Instead she was given an auditing and training program to complete prior to being allowed to join the SO. I have amongst my files of material from my Sea Org days some of the correspondence on this matter.

I even have a letter from the Commodore's (L. Ron Hubbard) Staff Guardian (CSG), Mary Sue Hubbard, which refers to my wife's petition and her program for entry into the SO.

Getting back now...

Due to the fact that my wife had not been allowed to be in the SO, we were not allowed to live together in Sea Org berthing, since there was a shortage of space in the Hollywood Inn at 6724 Hollywood Blvd,Hollywood, CA. This building is where most Pacific Area Command (PAC) SO members berthed. Here I will say, that at the very beginning of our time during our life in the Sea Org in LA, we were *briefly* (a few days) allowed to stay in the Hollywood Inn.

This was accomplished by moving Tony Cifarelli *out* of his room (over his loud protests). It was reasoned by the Berthing I/C that since Tony's wife, Patty was at the Guardian Office World Wide in England on an extended training "cycle" that Tony did not need a room all to himself. So his belongings were moved out of his room to make room for my wife, son and myself.

This berthing arrangement only lasted for a few days. Shortly after that I was placed in a dorm with 8 other SO members (some of my roommates included Tom Gonzales and Tom Black). My wife and son went to live on N. Robinson Ave, which is just down the street (Temple Street) about half a mile from where ASHO was at that time (2723 W Temple St.)

She lived in a house with Ruthie Weissberg, who was the Distribution Secretary ASHO Day. Also living there was Ruthie's son, David and a fellow named Ray Peck, who was an (SO) ASHO Fdn Letter Registrar Typist.

After a couple of years of being in the SO and my wife's *not* being an SO member, I grew tired of the toll that the separation was taking on my family members' lives. It was very stressful since I almost never saw my wife and son. So after about 2 years I told the MAA that I wanted to leave the Sea Org because my "2D" was suffering from a lack of "create".

(We didn't have a real family in reality, due to the fact that we could't live together.)

The truth is that I didn't have any "overts" on the group. And the sec check didn't change the fact that my wife was *still* not being allowed in the SO. So I still had the same problem.

But the fact is that Hubbard wrote a policy letter called "Leaving and Leaves" in which he stated that "People leave because of their own overts and withholds. That is the factual fact and the hardbound rule."

So naturally, everyone on the technical "lines" (posts, or positions) _had_ to find out what "terrible things I had done". This just goes to show the level of robotism when applying Hubbard's "tech".

Forget about the fact that I had a "continuing PTP" (present time problem) of not being able to "mock up" a "2D". Forget about the fact that the policy on "institutional cases with psych history" was being mis-interpreted in my wife's case. Hubbard said that those who want to leave have "overts and withholds".

It was during this time that I was wanting to leave the Sea Org that I was given this very long "Sec Check". As I recall, it has about 230 questions on it, and deals with crimes committed in this lifetime as well as in previous lives. I could be mistaken in my recollection about the HCO WW Form 1 having this many questions. This form was not the only one that was used.

One form I recall being used on me had been a hand-written "custom made" sec check, apparently designed by one of ASHO Day's Case Supervisors, probably either Barbara Rubio (Snr C/S and Class IX) or Parran Dabney (Class VI C/S), and dealing with the subject of the "2D".

Another sec check I was given had to do with money. I answered the questions honestly and thoroughly, since I had *nothing* to hide.

Several times the Sec Checker" (mostly Armand Citarella) demanded that I "take another look" at (re-consider) the question. He demanded that I *must not* be telling all that there was to be told in response to the sec check questions.

Essentially what was happening is that I was getting *very* "ARCXen"

(upset) by the insistence that I wasn't coming clean. In reality, I was being sec checked by a Briefing Course student who was making "GAEs"

(gross auditing errors) and who was committing Auditor's Code Violations (although Scientology will say that the Auditor's Code does *not* apply to sec checks).

I also remember being given an L1C ("List One Correction") and some other garbage to clean up my upsets. But all in all, the whole ordeal didn't handle my desire to leave the SO. After all the sec checking, I still, of course, wanted to leave. I had figured that I had done my part in co-operating. I had told everyone involved that my problem was that I was not able to create a family life.

Yet, no one believed or would accept my reason for wanting to leave.

It was also during this time I was told by the S/C (Supercargo) ASHO Day, Midshipman Alan Prager that I was an SP. And the Personnel Enhancement Officer, Chief Petty Officer Peggy Peden told me I was psychotic. Other Sea Org staff execs told me that should I leave that I would "pull in" my death because I "knew" that I would be committing a huge "overt" (sin) by leaving the group, the Sea Org.

In 1977, during this time of wanting to leave, I had been put into a "lower condition" ("DOUBT"), also in accordance with L. Ron Hubbard's ethics policies. As a condition of being placed in "DOUBT", I received *NO PAY* for 17 weeks, which was the duration of my assignment of a "lower condition"!!

In addition, I was *still* ordered to be on post (naturally) and working approximately 100 hours per week. I was beginning to really "cave in" completely.

One Friday I was coming back to the ASHO from a trip downtown to the bank where my senior, James Neil Chapman, and I had gone to pick up a cash order for payroll, food and tours expenses. James, or Jim as we all called him, had a big "chopper" motorcycle. Anyway, we were on the way back to ASHO. I was sitting on the rear of the seat and holding onto a big bag of money (about $20,000). We were headed westbound on 8th Street (it was one-way west) and had stopped at a red light at the intersection of Eighth and Alvarado Streets. When the light turned green, to be continued...

Warrior ***** When the light turned green, Jim started off with his chopper without looking both directions, since he assumed it was OK to go. I glanced immediately to my left to see a car heading northbound towards us moving about 30 to 35 miles per hour! The light had been red for her since before she ever got into the intersection. At that instant I yelled "Jim! Look out!"

It was too late. The car hit us on our left side, spinning the bike around on it's rear wheel. Just as the car had been about to smash into us, I had begun to get off the bike, by standing up on the leg rest and moving away from the car (to my right). I was trying instinctively to survive by going with, and away from the motion of the car.

Several things went through my head at that instant in time. I was sure that I was going to die. I took this accident as a sign that what the execs at ASHO had been telling me was true, and that I was "pulling in my motivator" (bad kharma). I decided that if I should survive, that I would make amends to every person I had ever harmed during my life. In that split instant between seeing a car about to hit us, and when it actually did, I had my whole life flash before me - particularly incidents involving times when I had sinned, whether it was a thing like the candy bar I stole from a corner store when I was 4 years old, the times I had been mean to my brothers, the times I had lied to my mother, or whatever. My whole life flashed before me in an instant. I asked God for forgiveness, promising to make up for and right any wrongs I had ever done to others.

I am kind of at a loss for words even now, in trying to describe the fear that ran through my mind at that time. I didn't want to die.

I knew I still had a purpose to serve on this Earth. As the car struck Jim's bike, I was thrown about 20 feet away, landing head first on the pavement with no helmet on, in the middle of Alvarado Street.

When I stood up, I was definitely in shock. I had blood all over myself from the head injury I sustained. I had landed head first, upside down! My glasses were *pushed* into the eye socket of my right eye, cutting into my eye socket just above my eyeball. I was covered with blood all over my front side. I thought I was dreaming at first.

Then I realized I was alive! I couldn't believe it!

Scientologists say "If it's true for you, it's true." I had decided after this accident that I had better listen to what I had been told by so many people at ASHO about what would happen to me if I tried to leave the Sea Org. I thought they MUST have been right -- after all, this horrible accident had nearly taken my life!

That's what made me stay in the Sea Org - fear... Fear that I would DIE if I tried to leave. That day in July 1977 had "validated"

everything I had been told about what would happen to me if I tried to leave the SO. All of a sudden, I "knew" they (the SO execs who had tried to control me by lying and by using fear) were "right".

It wasn't until 6 years later that I finally left the Sea Org forever! It has now been almost 14 years since I left the SO, and I am pleased to say that I am much happier than I ever was in the Sea Org.

God bless you all...

Warrior See http://www.entheta.net/entheta/1stpersn/warrior/

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