To Whom It May Concern:

I was involved in the so-called Church of Scientology from 1974 until around 1993, off and on for almost 20 years. I wanted to share some thoughts about that sojourn with anyone who cares to read this, in the spirit of the holiday season and giving.

Here are the main things I learned while involved with Lafayette Ronald Hubbard's creations, Dianetics and Scientology.

(1) I learned to fight the world, which was against me! Prior to being involved with Scientology, I was never much of a fighter. I had always embraced the world as fairly forgiving and trustworthy. While growing up in rural Texas, I never saw any secret cabal of people organized against myself or the human race at large. While studying the writings of Hubbard, however, I learned that I was actually a superior being who was being held down by evil, plotting beings who had tried to do away with me entirely 76 trillion years ago by placing me here on Earth and dousing me in a dire mix of materials that included glycol used in antifreeze and blowing me up with an atom bomb, causing lesser beings to affix themselves to me permanently through the ages, tormenting me like demons. Wow. I never knew what I was up against until Hubbard came along and cleared this up. Who could blame me for becoming combative, with such a spiritual burden to bear!

(2) I learned to categorize all people of the world in terms of who wanted to do me in and who I could trust and to become super-critical!

Prior to Scientology, I was so dumb. I didn't know that 2-1/2% of the population of Earth were Suppressive Persons and that they held in thrall and kept stirred up another 17-1/2% of the population who are Potential Trouble Sources, and that this is why we have so much trouble here on Earth. Boy, how could I have missed this? I learned that when anyone disagreed with me or put me down for something I did, it was highly likely they were a Suppressive Person! I learned this so well that I was able to use it to "disconnect" from family members and anyone I didn't like, no matter how stupid such actions might look to them or what an ass they thought I was for doing so. After all, since they were so messed up, what did I care what anyone but Scientologists thought?

(3) I learned that the real evil beings of the entire universe are psychiatrists, and that's the way it's always been! It doesn't matter that Sigmund Freud invented psychology and psychiatry last century;

there's stuff going on that only L. Ron Hubbard was privy to, and I learned to trust that and "do what Ron says." Why, who's to say that Xemu, the evil space emperor who imprisoned us all on Earth 76 trillion years ago, wasn't a psychiatrist!? It was so wonderful having this great knowledge of the evils of anyone who tried to deal with mental illness other than Ron Hubbard, and who should pay attention to any psychiatrist in Hubbard's past who said he was nuts, even if I met people who had been in the hospital with Hubbard at Oak Knoll and said he was a well-known loon around there? Should I care that people who knew him in Hollywood pre-Dianetics, including his former literary agent, said the same thing? Probably just Suppressive Persons, all of them!

(4) Having spent most of my Scientology time around Celebrity Centre, I learned that HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITIES ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! I learned that if you can dance, or if you're on a TV show or in a big movie, it doesn't matter what you're really like, because THAT MAKES YOU VERY IMPORTANT. Why, you can be on drugs, or even drink wine while doing the Purification Rundown, or be a homosexual when all you play onscreen is romantic leading men, and it doesn't matter! "Not that there's anything wrong with that," in the words of former short-time Scientologist Jerry Seinfeld. What matters is that even though you don't write any of the words you are paid extravagant sums to speak, you're physically attractive and that's really all that matters, even though Scientology is about the spirit -- which is the only thing that matters because Ron says so. Hey, if you teach acting and Scientology to actors trying to break into Hollywood, you can tell a Los Angeles newspaper you don't have a religion (you have to lie to them because they're Suppressives, right?) and even if some small insignificant person like myself takes you to task for not standing up for Scientology, you can get someone like me in big ethics trouble if I'm not a celebrity. Hey, that's what Ron would do, isn't it?

(5) I learned that it's OK to lie! In Scientology you can lie about anything, because the world is out to get you. All those Suppressives, and Potential Trouble Sources and psychiatrists, ohmigod! Why tell the truth about anything? Why, Ron even wrote policy for Scientologists on how to lie effectively, and training routines to use. And the government! Who should pay taxes, or not try to infiltrate the government at all levels, like the Scientologist who worked at the Department of Motor Vehicles in Hollywood and got information for the Church. Isn't everyone in government a bunch of Suppressives, according to Ron? Such a humanitarian, what would we do without him?

(6) I learned that I should never have any money! While I was on staff at Celebrity Centre, I learned that you didn't need money, anyway. $5 a week with which to buy all your clothes and toiletries and bedclothes and anything else was more than enough. When that got raised to $17 a week, wow, Ron "Mankind's greatest friend ever" struck again! Even when you didn't get paid a dime of that $17, who cared? You were always learning something, like you can survive for weeks on end eating nothing but rice and beans! Did you know they make up a whole protein when combined? When I was a "Scientology public" I learned that it was OK for me to have money, but not for long -- whenever I did things like winning $14,000 on a game show with knowledge that had nothing to do with Scientology, I learned that I should give $5,000 of that to pay for part of my Sea Organization debt. Why? Because even though I had been sent to a prison camp called the Rehabilitation Project Force for something I didn't do, and wanted out of the Sea Organization and was then told I had to sign a $50,000 bond agreeing to pay Scientology that amount of money if I ever revealed what went on there, didn't Ron need the former Cedars of Lebanon rehabilitated by a free slave labor construction force? Who was I to argue? And since I had decided to leave, shouldn't I pay for any "services" I received while working 60 to 80 hours a week on staff? And any time I made any large sums of money, shouldn't I give it all to Scientology because they wanted to "clear the planet"? So what if critics said that the main thing Scientology and Ron want to clear the planet of is its money -- they're all just Suppressive Persons and/or psychiatrists, aren't they? Who was I to save any money? I wasn't a Hollywood actor or a "celebrity" so I wasn't important to the world!

What right did I have to keep any money for myself? And hey, why shouldn't Scientology "Total Freedom" cost $250,000 or more? How can you put a price on spiritual freedom unless you're L. Ron Hubbard?

(7) I learned that my ideas don't matter because the planet might blow up if Scientology doesn't succeed! Gosh, I just didn't realize this before getting into Scientology, and I distinctly remember a conversation I had with Yvonne Jentzsch, former wife of Heber Jentzsch, who is now the President of the Church of Scientology. I was working on staff for Yvonne then at Celebrity Centre, and I did things like working with the staff under me to get the central files in complete up-to-date order, which had never been done in any Scientology organization before.

Gosh, I got people to send money through the mail for big Scientology courses, which no one had ever done before at Celebrity Centre. I wrote 1300 letters a week some times, making a carbon copy of each, with a file folder for each letter, typing them out on my own portable Olivetti typewriter, I was so dedicated. Then when I had a spare moment I would play my guitar and sing at Celebrity Centre and I got some standing ovations. So I told Yvonne that maybe I should go off and become a famous musician like "Pat and Pat" of "Back Pocket" fame had done, or Stephen Ambrose, because I could help Scientology more. She told me that the planet might blow up and that I should stay and work. Wow! I was so stunned I didn't mention maybe finding a rich Hollywood woman and getting married like Wings Hauser had done with Cass Warner or James Fiducia had done with actress Joan Prather. Who had time to do such things, with the planet about to blow up back in 1976? And why waste Yvonne's time, when she was staying up until 3:00 in the morning and getting up at 7:00 for years on end, helping Ron clear the planet? After all, didn't she stress herself out so much her brain blew up with cancer and she was utterly abandoned by Ron and everyone else? Hey, that caused trouble for Scientology! Was Yvonne a Suppressive Person?

(8) I learned that I just didn't understand, and couldn't possibly understand until I did OT3! I was told this repeatedly by Scientologists, particularly any "OT." For anyone reading this who is unenlightened, OT3 ("Operating Thetan 3," thetan meaning an independent being, taken from the Greek word for life "theta", because Ron says so) is the story of the evil emperor Xemu as mentioned above. It's the same story in the screenplay "Revolt in the Stars" which Ron wrote in the 70s but couldn't get anyone to finance filming. I know, because I read that screenplay, and I also read Ron's contract in which he would have been paid $666,000 if it had been filmed. (What was it about that number, am I forgetting something?) Why didn't it get filmed by "A Brilliant Film Company" with offices at Crossroads of the World in Hollywood, California? Obviously, it was stopped by Suppressive Persons! But that's OK, because Scientologists had a great breakthrough years later when they got Ron's "Battlefield Earth" onscreen! Does it matter that the company that funded it, Franchise, is now in huge hot water in California courts for various shenanigans? Who knows. I never did OT3, but heck, I think Ron's screenplay of "Revolt in the Stars" helped me understand a whole lot.

(9) I learned that promiscuity and anything-goes sex is a great thing.

Why, when I did Sea Organization training on a ship in Long Beach harbor, I learned that it was OK to have sex in a chain locker because the bunking area was so crowded. I learned that if you were an officer, it was OK to have sex with female trainees and get them out of work, because you are a superior being if you're a Sea Org officer! And as mentioned previously, it's OK to lie. I remember all the years around Celebrity Centre and how many divorces and affairs I saw. "It's easy to get laid at CC" was the phrase I remember. Guess I wasn't smart enough to marry any Scientologist, so I never had a divorce. I should have been OT3, I guess, then the girls would've looked up to me like they did to Ron. I learned that it was OK to have an affair with underage children, as long as you were a celebrity, and no one cared. After all, what does age matter when you're an immortal being AND a celebrity? Why, you could be, for example, a former soap opera star and the almost 50 year old leader of a major Scientology organization and have an affair with a 17 year-old girl and it's OK! Or you could be the 13 or 15 year-old son of a prominent Scientology musician and have sex in "The Manor" with women in their 20s and 30s who were auditors and it was OK, because your daddy's a celebrity! Or you could be an almost 50 Scientologist acting teacher and drop your 40-something girlfriend for the 18 year-old friend of your girlfriend's daughter and it's OK, because hey, what would Ron do? Didn't Ron have a whole squad of teenage girls who ran around his Apollo ship in white short shorts and skimpy tops and did his bidding?

When you're OT enough, it doesn't even matter what Ron says, because even if he says abortion is horrible, lots of girls got lots of abortions when on the ship!

(10) And here's the biggest thing Scientology taught me -- When you leave it, you can have a tremendously frutiful life and regain your sanity, no matter how many years or trainloads of complete utter bullshit you've swallowed from Lafayette Ronald Hubbard or his minions.

I learned that his horror stories (all generalities, never any names, you know, one of the traits of a Suppressive Person who speaks all in generalities) about people having great troubles when leaving Scientology were some of his biggest lies.

Before leaving Scientology, I mostly published things in Scientology magazines like Freedom, or in magazines put together by Scientologists like Rose Goss. A one-hour video that I wrote got made because is was financed by Scientology actress Lee Purcell and her then Scientology husband's brother. One TV show I wrote an episode for was because Scientologist Kathy Wasserman was one of the producers of the show and she brought in all Scientologists to write it when she could, including Mary Sue Hubbard. I just didn't have the heart to write Saturday morning cartoons like the very few Scientologist writers who worked in Hollywood; maybe I should have been OT3. Scientologists conspire like that in Hollywood, and don't ever think they don't -- they stack the deck as much as possible, particularly with actors. It has little to do with talent and a whole lot to do with inside information and pulling strings. My writing successes were few and far between while I was in Scientology. Hey, who had time!? Being on course or getting auditing was far more important! Did I want to throw away my spiritual future?

Other things I published while a Scientologist were contacts I made completely independent of Scientology, but I never figured that out until I was gone, even when top producers told me I was a great writer but I should cut out the Scientology and quit collaborating with much less talented Scientology writers.

After leaving Scientology, I published dozens of books, contract after contract, and a couple of my books have made me internationally famous among aspiring writers. I've written for other TV shows and sold screenplays. I have an online course that is available in 600 colleges and universities on three continents.

And there's not a hint of anything Scientology in it.

There's one more bonus thing that Scientology taught me, but it didn't teach me this until I was years away from it, and here it is --

SCIENTOLOGY IS AN EVIL, RELENTLESS BRAINWASHING CULT CREATED BY AND RUN BY PEOPLE WHOSE ULIMATE INTENT IS PURE EVIL ENSLAVEMENT OF AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE. MAKE NO MISTAKE, THAT IS THE ENTIRE SUBSTANCE AND TRUTH OF SCIENTOLOGY, DESPITE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IT DOES TO MAKE IT APPEAR OTHERWISE.

Tendered humbly as a gift to humankind this holiday season, 2002.

--

Freedom and not servitude is the cure of anarchy; as religion, and not atheism, is the true remedy for superstition.

-- Edmund Burke

All the best,

Skip Press, the Duke of URL and The Sum of All Hollywood Fears at http://home.earthlink.net/~skippress/

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