Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology From: dennis.l.erlich@support.com Subject: Scientology+superfriends= Message-ID: <9506242330.0X1AD02@support.com> References: <3shitg$3dk@infa.central.susx.ac.uk> Organization: L.A. Valley College Public BBS (818)985-7150 X-Mailer: TBBS/PIMP v3.35/PRIMP 1.56p Distribution: world Date: Sat, 24 Jun 95 23:30:57 -0700 Lines: 80 * Nominee: ars post of the month! * +---------------------------------+ lazyboy@ix.netcom.com (Stephen Jones) >Dear Mr. Miscaviage, > > Sit down and start taking notes! First let me state the >obvious: You, David Miscaviage, have oodles of cash. Oodles and >then some. Sure you can afford gold-plated orthopediac shoes, ivory >highchairs, and your own "posse" of people shorter than yourself to >"hang with" BUT what billionaire couldn't use a few extra BILLION! >That's right, I said BILLION! Let's face it, the good old days of >harrassing and intimidating a critic for under $100,000 are over. >How much is it costing the church (wink, wink) to harrass Dennis >Erlich, Netcom, and Tom K? Plenty! Lets not even mention your whole >hide-n-seek fiasco. Big Bux! What the church (tee-hee) needs is a >modern approach to fund raising. This is 1995, TIME TO GET WITH THE >PROGRAM! > > What is the program? How can you fill the pockets of your tiny >trousers with even MORE money? Take a look around. What do the kids >love? What can generate money faster than you can say "Michael >Jackson"? SUPER-HEROES! The kids love super-heroes! Batman! >Superman! Aquaman! Kids love 'em and you got 'em! Your church( god >that's great) is the largest producer of superpeople in the world. >Until now you haven't done boo with your greatest asset. Well move >over Fantastic Four, there's a new boy in town! Here's the plan: > >1. Get those Operating Thetans operating. No more of this >namby-pamby "Well I could do super-stuff but I don't wanna right >now" CRAP! Trust me, the public wants to gasp in awe at the amazing >OT powers. Who likes the shy super-hero? Nobody. > >2. Outfits. Everyone loves a super-hero who wears a cool outfit. >The X-Men have outfits, the Power Rangers have outfits, even the >Mutant Turtles have outfits. Why don't the OTs have outfits? Get >some cool OT outfits. > >3. Create a Justice League of America type group for the OTs. How >about "Operatin' Thetan Nation"? Catchy! Within this group each OT >should have a marketable look and name (The Exteriorizer, >MindBender, BigBrother, E-Matrix.....this type of thing) Your name >could be Shrinky-Dink, the short-n-sassy leader of OTN. > >4. A league of superpeople is useless without an enemy. Create an >evil, rival group of superpeople. Sure you have done this before >but with the IRS and ITERPOL under your belt you are going to have >to think BIGGER. LRH provided us with a great group to work with, >THE MARCABIAN OVERLORDS (MO). Sounds pretty sinister! MO would >consist of Clears who are just embarking on their journey to full >OTness. Make it a requirement, hell they paid through the nose to >become Clear they won't quit just because of a little abuse. >Anyway, dress the Clears up in costumes, set the stage, invite the >press, and then you and the rest of the OTN beat the living >daylights out of the evil Dr. ECT, Psychiatron, the Internet >Bandit, and the rest of "MO"! Fantastic! > >5. Catch phrases. Never underestimate catch phrases! As you and the >OTN pound your MO victims you are going to have to shout catchy >phrases. Kids love 'em. I love 'em. You love 'em. Let's look at your >current crop of catch phrases. "ECT is EVIL! The Internet can be EVIL! >LRH is never wrong! Scientology Works! Buy Now!" - not very inspiring. >Think up new catch phrases. Try one of these: BY HUBBARD, I SHALL SMITE >THEE! IT'S CLEARIN' TIME! YOUR WALLET ISN'T THE ONLY THING >YOU'RE GONNA BE MISSIN'! > >Give it some thought and give me a cut of the merchandising, > >Stephen Jones I've got plans for you, boy. +--------------------------------------+ Rev. Dennis L Erlich * * the inFormer * * dennis.l.erlich@support.com + inForm@primenet.com "tar baby"