Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology From: dennis.l.erlich@support.com Subject: JOIN THE HKK PEN PAL CLUB Message-ID: <9507250854.0CI5K00@support.com> Organization: L.A. Valley College Public BBS (818)985-7150 X-Mailer: TBBS/PIMP v3.35 Distribution: world Date: Tue, 25 Jul 95 08:54:03 -0700 Lines: 47 cultxpt@primenet.com (Jeff Jacobsen) >Dear a.r.s. Reader, > > Thank you for your inquiry into the Helena K. Kobrin Pen Pal Club. >I'm sure your first questions is: what do I get if I join the HKKPPC? > >1) life-size photo of Helena target practising with a .45 pistol. >2) Instant SP4 status! >3) Kobrin brand clam-flavored lipstick! >4) an official RTC dagger letter-opener. >5) the Kobrin Frivolous Lawsuit Action Kit(tm) >6) an autographed copy of "How To Use Your Commodore 64" >7) free brake job from Garry Scarff > > Of course, now you're asking; what must I do to join? > >1) HKK herself must personally invite you to join. Her invitation will >be cleverly diguised as a threat to sue you over copyright violations. >Isn't this why we just love Helena? Her sense of humor shines in >everything she does! Once you get your invitation, simply email her back >thanking her profusely for inviting you to join her club! > >2) Send $50 or more to the Dennis Erlich Defense Fund. > >For more information, read alt.religion.scientology, or see; >http://www.cybercom.net/~rnewman/scientology/home.html > > >PLEASE REPOST THIS WHERE APPROPRIATE!! Make Helena proud! > >(disclaimer: for all the boneheads with their sense of humor ripped out >by the Church of Scientology, this is a joke. Thanks to the #clambake >gang for the help. No animals were harmed in testing the Kobrin brand >lipstick) >Jeff Jacobsen SP3, Scientology critic Jeff, you have quite a talent for this kind of thing. Your promotions really sail well. +--------------------------------------+ Rev. Dennis L Erlich * * the inFormer * * dennis.l.erlich@support.com + inForm@primenet.com "tar baby"