Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
From: dennis.l.erlich@support.com
Subject: I'M GETTING READY TO
Message-ID: <9509141650.0NNIH01@support.com>
Organization: L.A. Valley College Public BBS (818)985-7150
X-Mailer: TBBS/PIMP v3.35
Distribution: world
Date: Thu, 14 Sep 95 16:50:13 -0700
Lines: 62


Mike_Reuss@HP-Loveland-om10.om.hp.com (Michael Reuss)

>                CONFIDENTIAL MEMORANDUM
>
>  TO: Chair, ARS CENTRAL COMMITTEE
>FROM: Michael Reuss, SP-4, Footsoldier of Xenu, Subcommittee for Special
>                      Affairs & Honorary Kid
>DATE: 9/14/95
>SUBJ: Operation TURN-THE-TROUT
>
>I was aboard the ARS Central Committee secret L2 orbiting base when I got
>word of this unfortunate and "fishy" situation. I had been awaiting
>instructions for an offworld assignment by the chairman of the subcommittee
>for special affairs when my redeployment orders from executive staff came
>through. I immediately packed my ops-gear and took first available 'shaft'
>back down the well.
>
>After landing, I reconnoitered the subject, who was swimming in a pool of
>clear, cold water. I shortly thereafter, and independently arrived at my
>solution to this slippery situation. Luckily, the loyalties of trout are
>easily bought with a can full of meal worms. I proceeded to the nearest bait
>shop and secured the necessary inducements, cash transaction, no records, no
>videotape, wearing full disguise.  The trout was hungry. He took the
>inducements hook, line, and sinker. We shouldn't have any more trouble from
>him again (until he gets hungry again).
>
>I recommend that the executive staff immediately begin plans for
>construction of an underground facility for the breeding of mealworms, to
>facilitate and expedite the 'handling' of other troutish problems in the
>future. The ARS secret construction company has ample experience and could
>have such a facility up and running before year end.
>
>We must not become careless with fish related problems, we must continue to
>balance the needs of trouts with the goals of the ARS Central committee
>conspiracy. After all, without the trout, man, whose gonna defend our
>sticks?

    Fortunately for all of us, the Central Committee was aware 
    of Troutman's ACTUAL INTENTIONS from the very beginning of 
    his postings to ars.  His oh-so-clever parodies of the 
    scienos' posting styles were just a little accurate for him 
    to have been anything but an OSA insider.

    The Committee fortuitously took action to feed this fishy
    character some very pungent, false data.  It seems that data
    has made its way into the hands of OSA and been regurgitated
    back into the newsgroup through Chris Miller and Bob 
    Wallart.  So the Committee definately has exposed a vicious 
    double agent.

    Come on Troutman.  Fess up.  You are not who you seem to be,
    and now the whole world knows it.  Who are you, really?  
    Hever Jentsche?

    Defender of Sticks, indeed!

            +--------------------------------------+
           Rev. Dennis L Erlich  * * the inFormer * *
      dennis.l.erlich@support.com  +  inForm@primenet.com
                           "tar baby"