Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology From: dennis.l.erlich@support.com Subject: RE: CofS takes ARS advice Message-ID: <9511171912.0QZHP03@support.com> References: <48hdme$8sm@mis02.micron.net> Organization: L.A. Valley College Public BBS (818)985-7150 X-Mailer: TBBS/PIMP v3.35 Distribution: world Date: Fri, 17 Nov 95 19:12:33 -0800 Lines: 174 * suck-sess! * +---------------------------------+ Cult forced by Internet Newsgroup, to admit Sekret, Sakrid, Sci-Fi Skriptures to public! wolftrip >Just received my glossy and attractive copy of the Freewinds magazine. >Freewinds is the publication that let's us all know how much we're >missing by not cruising the Carib with the Thetans. > >CofS has now decided to tackle all you ankle-biting critics on the >issues you're most fond of: past lives, implants, years numbered in >trillions and all the other useless minutia that you are so proud >of "exposing". Note, the magazine is for public at large. It is not >sent in a plain brown wrapper. There is no red stripe on it. In fact, >it came to me via the trusty old "bulk mail". > >Here's some snippets from a few eye-catching ads: > >______________________________________________________ > >WARNING! SEVERE TURBULENCE AHEAD >you are piloting your way through a highly >charged part of the track - through an >incident the pc hasn't seen in 200 lifetimes. >Miss a read and you could wrap the case in a >ball. Wouldn't you want to fly with the best >instrumentation possible? (more about emeter) > >_________________________________________________________ > >Good Grief! I'll take two. Can I get mine with a CD player and >leatherette upholsetry? > >next ad: > >__________________________________________________________ > >EARTH WAS COLONIZED 35,000 YEARS AGO. > (picture of ice cubes) >YOU ARRIVED IN AN ICE CUBE.... >Where were you 35,000 years ago? And >what incidents lie buried in human >memory? >[snip boring parts] >..is far stranger than any fiction you've >ever read. >Discover the "coffee grinder" incident, called >Fac One, which laid in a bone deep somatic with >a series of electronic stuttering "baps". The >halver, which is at the root of religious >aberration, and many other implant incidents >which have been found common to all preclears >on earth. >[snip..history of man sales pitch] >Discover also the "Injected Entities"- the source >of voices in your mind, and much more. >Read this cold-blooded, factual account of your >past, and be protected the next time you find >yourself *between lives* >______________________________________________ > >My. I sure hope they stick with the plot when they do the movie. > >next ad (a real zinger) > >______________________________________________ > >IF "TIME HEALS ALL," AFTER 76 TRILLION YEARS DON'T >YOU THINK BEINGS SHOULD BE PERFECT BY NOW? >This and other false data has cost you your OT >abilities and your whole track memory. >[snip..sales pitch] >Ron gives you the exact anatomy of the dwindling >spiral - the exact point where a being moves off a >position of cause and begins to dramatize whole-track >amnesia. >Shouldn't you know that? What about the Martian Command, >Atlantis and what really happened in Ancient Egypt? >[blah, blah, blah..] >________________________________________________ > >I must say, these ads are quite a departure from others I have seen in >the past. Yea, scumbag. It's called truth in advertising. At least it's a start. >Cryptic hints of the terrors of the Wall of Fire and other >nebulous statements have been the program for decades. And now this? Gee, what a coincidence. Their scam is exposed on internet, and suddenly they start to admit what it was. Amazing. Duh-er. >The initial conclusion I'm drawing here is that CofS has finally >listened to the pack of yapping dogs Stuff this back up Rotundo's Orifice, from whence it came. See if you can find an original idea somewhere in your thought process. No luck, huh? >who think they'll bring the >Church down by "innoculating" their neighbors from Scn by telling >them about BT's, clams and Xemu. Now that it's public knowledge how your scummy friends have been ripping the public off, you/they decide to admit it. This is very thin material. Transparent, really. >Instead of denying any of this stuff, >they're just going to use it to sell more books and OT Prep course. Hey, go for it, slimeball. >They could be wrong of course. This new direction in Scn advertising >could be a big mistake. At this point, now that the scam is known, it's all you can do. Hahaha. >But I don't think so. We care what you think, dufus? >What I think is that CofS has called your hand. Here you go. No turning back now. The world's gonna know you think God was an implanted Big Body Thetan created by the evil Zenu. You scum. >"Okay", they're saying, "so we believe in >implants and trillions of years and space drama. Admitting it finally! Jesus was part of the R6 Implant, 75 million years ago that got everybody possessed by demons which now make up the Reactive Mind Tubby created in Dianetics. See, that didn't hurt. The Christians will appreciate knowing the truth about your beliefs. >In fact, we've seen the wisdom of ARS. You and poodleboy had no choice. You *had* to tell the truth, finally. >This is good stuff! People love this stuff! In fact, >we're going to actively sell it and reap even more profits!" Phat Phucking Chance. >Anyone up for a Clammer-kill count and a brewski? Thanks for being the new, improved Milne. He didn't admit who he was for months, either. Oh, and don't forget to FOAD, Woof. +--------------------------------------+ Rev. Dennis L Erlich * * the inFormer * * dennis.l.erlich@support.com + inForm@primenet.com "tar baby"