gogirl723@... asked this question on 5/17/2000:

My husband was diagnosed with clinical depression. He was given zoloft. It worked beautifuly. However, he doesn't think he needs it now and has been off it for about 2 months. He is taking St. Johns Wart instead. My children and I can see and feel the difference in his personality. He is a time bomb again and the least thing sets him off. He also acts depressed, and realizes he is at times but refuses to take zoloft again. He has blamed zoloft for a sexual problem (has erection but can not ejaculate) but off zoloft, he still has this problem, but says he has more feeling and is getting closer to being able to ejaculate. Is there anyway i can get hime back on this drug? He has tried others and they don't work, zoloft was perfect. Our daughter also takes zoloft(19), she had the same problem with depression. Off of zoloft he is selfish, mean, tempermental, short tempered, and generally not nice to be around. I'm getting close to wanting a divorce. Help if you can.

jennyw1978 gave this response on 5/17/2000:

I can understand completely where your coming from except in my case I was the one who decided I didn't need to take my medication anymore, which also happened to be Zoloft. Just like you, my husband became very aware of the changes in my bahavior after several wks. of being off of the Zoloft and I became aware as well because my depression set in again. Unfortunately your husband is going to have to reach the point where he realizes he needs to be on the medication and that it is actually helping him. However, as his wife you need to make it clear how you feel about his decision and what your feelings are. Let him know that you care about him and that your just concerned for his well-being along with the welfare of your family. Possible get your daughter to support you when you confront him. I've always found there is power in numbers. I noticed that you brought up his temperament also. If you find that your reason for not saying anything to him is more out of fear of his reaction then I think there may be more problems here than just his refusal to take medication. Your husband may need to get help to deal with anger. When you find yourself walking on eggshells around your spouse to avoid confrontation that is when you know something needs to change. Stand your ground and make him see your side. A marriage is made of two people and it takes two people to make it work. I've learned that in my own marriage. I wish you the best of luck. Take care, Jennifer

gogirl723@... asked this follow-up question on 5/19/2000:

(sorry, wasn't done yet, my finger his the wrong button and away it went.) He has calmed down alot, and we have had a chance to talk more. The main problem was the sexual thing with him. I'll do what I can to help him get back to normal (in that respect) but things haven't changed since going off the zoloft. He's still blaming the zoloft for it. Do you think it's possible that that is still affecting him? well, time will have to play out a bit more before we can get things going for him. Till then, if an "episode" begins, I will tell him I can't accept that kind of behavior. Or something like that. thanks again. HOpe all's well for you and your family.

jennyw1978 gave this response on 5/19/2000:

I'm happy to hear that things have calmed down a bit for you. You guys are on the right track if you are able to sit down and talk to each other. About your husband's sexual "problem", I did a little research on some of my Zoloft info. papers. One of the main side effects of Zoloft is that it can affect a person's sexual desire and/or ability. I don't know how long exactly your husband has been off his medication but I know that he could still have it in his system therefore, effects could still be taking place. However, I would still recommend your husband get a medical opinion on this matter because I am not promising that this is the cause. And even if your husband claims things are getting better "down there" I would strongly suggest he consider getting back on something if not Zoloft. See if he would at least consider sitting down with his doctor and maybe discussing some other options if he is not happy with Zoloft. And if you wish, you can always mention my situation to him. He is welcome to talk to me as someone who has had a positive experience taking Zoloft. By the way, I am still taking Zoloft and things are still going well. Keep me posted as to what goes on and feel free to ask me anything that might come to mind. God Bless, Jennifer

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