Anonymous asked this question on 5/18/2000:

I really don't know where to start? I feel so confused and depressed that i don't know what else to do? I am 23, have a wonderful boyfriend who would do anything for me,and a reception job that pays really well. So, you think that i would be happy, huh. Well, things couldn't be more wrong! Last November my boyfriend and i moved out of state with his construction job so he could have a chance to get promoted. I decided at the time that moving to a big city would be good for me too because there are alot of job opportunities for me.(i had previously gone to radiology school after high school for a year but did not finish due to personal factors from the program instructor, acutally the best move i made by ending the program.) So i thought that my best move would be to start over w/a new job. I have wanted to go back to college but so very unsure of what i want to do. I don't want to make the same mistake by just picking something and hating it again. Plus wasting money on something i decide later on on not doing is stupid. So, we have lived here now for 6months and i have a good reception job and his job is going ok too! problem is is that i am not happy! I miss my famiiy and old town. We are 8hrs away so we visit when we can but i just am not happy with that. I think about down the road and want to raise children one day there w/family and plant my life there. Now my boyfriend wants to travel, live the exciting life and live everywhere! The more and more we talk about my feelings the more depressed i get. I don't know what to do w/the way i feel! I think i want to go back to school before i settle down but then i have no idea what i want to do, none whatsoever!!! I think i should think about myself, but now it is me and him. Our relationship is very serious (we have talked about getting engaged) and i don't want to hurt it by doing someting drastic but i am so sad all the time! At work i feel ok but when i am home i don't want to talk to him and i just sit there and watch tv. I am not mad at him i just don't want to talk to him or do anything. Things change when we go home though, i am happy, alive, and feel different. Does anyone have any advice on how i cope or what i should do next? Thank you for listening to my long story.

~Confused

Jenny153 gave this response on 5/19/2000:

Unfortunately this is real tough. Choosing between your boyfriend and your feelings can be the hardest decision you will ever have to make. You have three options. One, is that you can wait it out. Give it some time, after a while you might find that your moving suited you better and you'll make new friends and establish great relationships. Two, you can go back home and either keep the relationship with your boyfriend or break it off. Though very difficult, this might be the best choice. You have to be comfortable and happy. In your current situation you are not, something has to be done. The last suggestion I have is trying to make a compromise with your boyfriend. Maybe you could move a little bit closer to home and then commute to work. Whatever you choose, just know that your happiness overrides everything. To have a good and healthy relationship means that both sides must be content. Good luck!!! ~Jenny~