gogirl723@... asked this question on 5/17/2000:
My husband was diagnosed with clinical depression. He was given zoloft. It worked beautifuly. However, he doesn't think he needs it now and has been off it for about 2 months. He is taking St. Johns Wart instead. My children and I can see and feel the difference in his personality. He is a time bomb again and the least thing sets him off. He also acts depressed, and realizes he is at times but refuses to take zoloft again. He has blamed zoloft for a sexual problem (has erection but can not ejaculate) but off zoloft, he still has this problem, but says he has more feeling and is getting closer to being able to ejaculate. Is there anyway i can get hime back on this drug? He has tried others and they don't work, zoloft was perfect. Our daughter also takes zoloft(19), she had the same problem with depression. Off of zoloft he is selfish, mean, tempermental, short tempered, and generally not nice to be around. I'm getting close to wanting a divorce. Help if you can.
pain1 gave this response on 5/18/2000:
Hi
This is a problem you are going to have to share if there is any hope of sorting it out.
The drugs can, and do, change sex drive. I am on all sorts and the last thing on my mind, or in my pants, is sex. It is often a case of forfiting one for the other. If he is better on the drugs, mood wise and so on, is it a price worth paying when you lose your sex drive??
Remember we men have very funny ideas about what makes a man, how the tackle works is one of, if not the most, important things of all. He will be going through hell in his mind and you need to support him in every way.
There are many other ways to obtain an erection but as for ejaulation....well that is a different thing. I feel the latter IS a problem, if he can get an erection it shouldn't be that he can't ejaculate...Maybe a confidential talk to your doctor may find some help. But between you it is possible you could find all sorts of things to excite him and, in the end, help him ejaculate.
Good luck and keep trying.
Dave (UK)
gogirl723@... asked this follow-up question on 5/19/2000:
Hey Dave,
thank you for the post. It turns out that the big problem IS the "tackle". We have had a talk and that's the main thing for him. I can remember him saying he'd rather be sane than have sex, but that has changed now. I don't blame him. Right now he's trying to retrain it by doing it more often (with me) instead of his hand. But so far no good. Maybe this will eventually lead him back to the doctors office, since it's not the zoloft. He was getting into x-videos and that sort of thing for some help, but it didn't work. I watched some with him but, man, what a turn off for me. I really really hate that stuff. I'm willing to try stuff, but it's not working yet. I think it's something else. Like maybe he's just trying too hard.
well, thank you again for answering. You and the rest of the people who have come to my aid are just great. I love ya. gracie
pain1 gave this response on 5/19/2000:
Hi Gracie
Wow!! I am so impressed with myself for understanding the question and being so close to the answer... I am also pleased it may help lead him back for help...remember there are drugs, anti-depressants, that do not have such a bad effect on sex drive.
Given this has been upsetting him, to the point he has stopped the drugs, it is important for him to get more help. There is litle point feeling, or acting, like a "real man" if the anger and unacceptable behviour, controled by the drug, prevents any love to flow between you....It is no good being "tooled up" with nowhere to go!!!!
I would be grateful if you would close this question for me, unless there is anything else I can help with, that way I will be able to see, right off, I have answered it.
Many thanks and sincere best wishes to you and your husband....
Dave (UK)
gogirl723@... asked this follow-up question on 5/19/2000:
Right on again. That's exactly how I see it. "tooled up with nowhere to go." Thanks, and yes, I think we can close now. Sorry, almost forgot to rate you. bye
The average rating for this answer is 5.
gogirl723@... rated this answer a 5.