Ramoon asked this question on 3/26/2000:

I've been trying for jears now not to give up the fight against negative thoughts about myself and my life. But it keeps getting harder and harder, i feel so lonely, don't know what i want with my life, the very few friends i have left are in a relationship and don't seem to notice i'm alive. My parents think support is pathetic, all i feel is rejection and useless. I try to take pleasure out of little things, like the sun is shining and give love and support to others, finding reasons to make some sense of this selfish world and my place in it. If somebody would still like to talk after this self-pity story, maybe i'm not the one with the problems :) kidding! Love, Ramona Ramonavschendel@hotmail.com

Marie36 gave this response on 5/16/2000:

Hi Ramoon,

I am not a expert like a doctor or anything, but I know what you are going through. I am always looking for a new friend. I myself beat myself all the time, and feel selfish, but it is not. We deserve to be happy. You are taking the right steps in enjoying the things you are doing. It is great to get up in the morning and feel the sun beating upon you, or going for a walk and feeling the fresh air through your hair. I can relate to the parent thing. Me and my mother have never had a good relationship. We are currently working hard on it, she is finally starting to realize what it has been like for me. Took a long time for it to start getting better. Just know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark it may seem. We both can help each other. I am always willing to try to help others. I may not be a doctor but I have personal experience from beating myself up (not physically of course). I myself have been through alot of mental abuse in my life. Well take care. Sorry if I babbled on or sounded like I wasn't trying to help. This is my first time responding. I just joined up last night. Take care and good luck to you.

Ramoon asked this follow-up question on 5/17/2000:

Not really a follow-up question, just wanted to thank you for responding and reassure you that you didn't sound like you weren't trying to help! You already did by responding and telling a little bit about yourself. It's a great feeling to know that somebody understands you and has (had) similar feelings. I can relate to the mental abuse and the impact it has, but realize that i am the only one who can make myself of victim, nobody else can and that i control my own thoughts, good and bad. I still blame myself a lot and feel lousy at times, but i'm starting to get control over it, slowly... Get back on my feet even if my legs are shaking like (***) :)) Thanks again and don't worry, you'll do fine, good luck and all the best to you. Love Ramoon