Anonymous asked this question on 5/10/2000:

I have been diagnossed with depession and social anxities. I am being treated with Zoloft currently (and was on Paxil)for 8 months. The meds are helping some what but I'm having a hard time snapping out of it. I see a therepist about once a month but so far no breakthroughs and no progress. I don't know what is causing it and niether do my doctors other than the fact that I'm under a lot of stress and big changes are happening in my life. I'm a mother of a three yr old and eighteen month old. Been married for 4 years. We are in the process of building a house with more sweat equity than u can imagine. I finally quit my job 2 months ago hoping that would eliminate some stress but my attitude goes unchanged. To be honest... I wonder if I just need a short retreat to sort things out. I have forgotten who I was and can't figure out who I am anymore. I have always been dependent on others and have never made a decision on my own. I let others make decisions for me. I can't even go to the grocery store without someone coming with me. I won't go alone, I would come back with nothing. I figured if I could get away from all of this noise, I could sort things out, get to know who I am but I don't know how to go about doing that. I guess my question is... Do u know of any retreats for women who are in my same situation? Not a vacation! I need everyday help in trying to discover myself. I don't know how to find myself, I'm a lost sheep. I can't see myself getting any better unless I do this. I hope u can help me out.

karunap gave this response on 5/11/2000:

A retreat won't help. The same problems will be there when you return.

I suggest you do intensive therapy. Medications and once a month therapy won't do any good. You need a therapist that provides a very active form of therapy. One that can help you sort out what is going on, help you release trapped feelings, give advice and structure, teach you what you need to learn to be independent in the world. You need someone who doesn't consider medication to be the answer to everything. Find one who uses a wide modality of therapies..... bioenergetic feeling release, psychodrama, regression, contracting, accountability, etc. If you happen to live in Seattle, let me know and I can give you some referrals.

While you are looking for a good therapist.... or picking up the intensity of working with the one you have already there is things you can do to start on your own.

Depression is most often due to stuffing one's feelings….. particularly anger. The first step in moving out of the depression is to start doing feeling work. I suggest people do 15-60 minutes a day of feeling work.

There are many forms. Some examples:

Write lists of mads, sads and scares. Journal about past and present feelings, Feel them as you write. Write angry letters and then destroy them Twist a towel Pound a pillow. Push against a wall pretending you are pushing away people you are angry with. Scream into a pillow or pool. Stomp as you walk

Talk to your friends….. find ways to increase your support system. Improve your diet and exercise patterns

Read GOOD GRIEF RITUALS, LETTING GO OF SUFFERING and GROWING UP AGAIN.

I would also suggest you do exercises like:

Imagine yourself going out alone. Write down all of the thoughts and feelings that come out. Write down all the mistaken beliefs you a have about yourself and the world. Share this information with your therapist.

I hope this is enough to give you a start. Feel free to ask more questions of me.

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