treseq asked this question on 4/22/2000:

I and my wife, Karen, have been married for 11 years. My son is 9 and my daughter is 3.

My wife has a temper problem and things that happened to her when she was in school and with her family, which spreads to all areas of our marrige, ie relationships with family, friends, children and neighbours and myself.

I have somehow managed to survive this. She has left home since eight weeks and would like to reunite. We have discussed our problems and both agreed that this was the main barrier.

My wife has this problem much before our marriage ie with her parents, brothers and sister. She has deep rooted issues in her which I am unable to help despite my best efforts. She has realised that if we do decide to reunited this issue will have to be addressed properly with concrete ways of handling this.

She has been to psycologist and she says that they are of no use as they only give her anti-depressant medication, which she refuses to take.

I would like to keep this family united but I am affraid if this is not solved we will be back to sqare one! We have seperated 3 times before and I cannot take this nor is it conductive for the children.

If you can guide me in some direction that we can look to solve this problem I do not know how I could repay you.

Should you require more information that will help you to put me in the right direction for help please contact me on seqtreka@yahoo.com

Thank you Trevor Sequeira

1FUNNYLADY gave this response on 4/28/2000:

Dear Trevor, You are right, you do have a problem! 11 yrs. and she does'nt convide in you? I see that these issues concern things from her childhood and or family. Perhaps she does'nt trust in you because of something serious that happened to her back then. I am speaking from personal experience here. When I was a child the people that I had the God given right to trust, were the very ones that violated me. When I grew up I trusted no-one, even my husband. You see if your parents could'nt be trusted, who could? Don't take it personally. You did'nt cause the problem, but, if you intend to stay you have to urge her to find 1 person she can trust enough to let it all out to. You say she's tried counseling? Perhaps she has'nt found one she can trust. Trust is the key!!! I have helped a great deal of people who could'nt trust their psycoligst for whatever reason. If you would like to listen to what I have to say e-mail me at miss_@loveable.com. This will not "Go Away", not for her and most certainly not for you. You also have a very influential child to consider. If you don't get help here, PLEASE get help somewhere. Three lives depend on it!! I'll be praying for you all, Marion (AKA 1FUNNYLADY)

The average rating for this answer is 3.

treseq rated this answer a 3.