Anonymous asked this question on 4/23/2000:

I have suffered through and thought I had regained my mental health after two long episodes of severe clinical depression in l992 and l994. I took early retirement in 9/91 at age 62, and soon recognized that something was wrong with my mental health. It was NOT due to retirement, it was due to my husband who was a manic-depressive, and was in a very manic condition at that time, and also because my best friend of 20 years told me she had inoperable cancer. We were very close and supportive of each other as long as I can remeber. She became sicker and sicker, and died a miserable death in 9/92. I lost my friend and her generous support. From the time I heard she had cancer, and observed her long suffering, I was in deep depression, and wasn't much good to anyone or myself. Professionals helped get me through this lst depression. Then in late spring of 1994, I recognized that I was again in another depression. At this time, I moved down to another state to be with my daughter and family. My husband reluctantly moved down with me (I really didn't want him to). Professionals helped me again. By the lst of 1996, I felt normal again. For the last year or two, it seems sometimes I am in some form of depression. I find myself in tears (in private, or on the phone with my two children who I sometimes have an disagreement with) I sleep very late in the AM..sometimes up to 1:00 or 2:00 p.m. even. I do that when I don't have anything to do that day but household work. I do stay up late at night till l:00 watching TV etc.-but I don't know if that's an excuse to sleep so late the next morning. I have taken the anti-anxiety pill, name of Clonzepam for at least the last 6 years, now prescribed by my MD who's well aware of my problems. That has always pretty well assured me of a good night sleep. Yes, I am addicted, like I' addicted to a good night's sleep. This frequent crying of mine, when I feel down about something, and sleeping just about everyday so late makes me wonder if I'm in a state of depression. I am 71 years old now. I do volunter work twice a week and "babysit" my 4 and 8 year old granddaughters often. I am fairly active, have a few good friends, but not like the one I had that died. I miss a friend like that. I sure wish she was still alive, but she's been gone for 8 years now, and I've adjusted to that by now. My husband did not allow me to grieve for her normally. He made fun of me and told me to pull myself by my boot straps. He died 1/98. He was in a nursing home for 3 years..while I was in a depression, and I thought I became well again. I could write a book on all this, but I better quit, and ask you what you think, advice, whatever. Am I still in some phase of depression?. I'll be taking Effexor the rest of life. I have cut down to l pill a day, when I use to take 2. Maybe I should go back to 2. Thanks.

katmar gave this response on 4/27/2000:

First, I think you've had alot of pain and loss in your life. The loss of your friend is not something you will ever get "over". She was part of you. Your husband was also part of you, whether the relationship was healthy or not. And from what you said, it was not. Living with someone who is verbally abusive, on top of being manic-depressive, can take a great toll on you.

The first step I would take, is to see a psychiatrist, and not have your MD prescribing psychiatric medication. And I think talking to a psychiatrist might help you sort through a lot of your feelings. You could be crying because your heart hurts. You could be crying because you're lonely, or you could be crying because you're depressed. No one but a psychiatrist can diagnose that, though. And I think you need to talk. Your message was very heartfelt, and you shared so much of yourself, that I think you need someone to listen, someone to comfort you and support you. Depression takes all kinds of forms, but it could just be you're hurting. As far as your sleeping late, and staying up late, I would check on the medication you're taking, as it can cause alot of drowsiness for some people. Bottom line, see a psychiatrist, and let him or her help you sort this out. And by the way, I think you're very brave. Best of luck.

The average rating for this answer is 5.

Anonymous rated this answer a 5.

Katmar was very good. She gave me some good reasons why I may be depressed.