wandafive asked this question on 4/13/2000:
i have been amom for 25yrs of 5 children. now my last 2 are 17yrs twins they work,school,go out with there friends not home much any more.my oldest 3 live far from home now with there partners so it's lonely my husband works on the road never home much I hate this I am so beyond sad every one says go out ,get ajob on/on.know one understands Iam empty Iam lonely for my famiy I WANT IT BACK BUT it can never be. I DON'T WANT TO VISIT MY FRIENDS AND CRY ALL THE TIME THEY ALL HVE SMALLER CHILDREN. I;V TRIED BABYSITTING NOTHING WORKS MY FAMILY IS MY BEING BUT YET I;M ALONE AND WAIT TO SEE OR HAVE THEM WITH ME
karunap gave this response on 4/13/2000:
It is essential you start building a life of your own... whether or not you want to. Get involved with church groups or community groups. Find a hobby and get involved with other people who have similar interests. See if your community has a support group available for people who are in similar life situations for you.
I suggest you see a therapist for awhile. That person can help you make the adjustment to this stage of life. Some of the people I know made huge contributions to the world that did not start until they were in their fifties or sixties. You have much to offer but you have to be willing to go into the world.
Depression is due in part to stuffing your feelings. You say you are feeling your sadness. WOrk on your anger and your scare... and your sad.
Spend 15-60 minutes a day doing things like:
writing lists of mads, sads, scares journal about your feelings... past and present write angry letters and then destroy them twist a towel pound a pillow scream into a pool or pillow
Read GOOD GRIEF RITUALS and LETTING GO OF SUFFERING.
It is true, part of your life has ended.... but it means there is a new beginning. Start actively pursuing it and you will be shocked about how much joy you can find.
Again, I suggest you see a therapist for awhile... someone who will not just put you on an antidepressent.
The average rating for this answer is 4.
wandafive rated this answer a 4.
thank you karunap.But I have been advised of all of this yet I'M STUCK,FROZEN! MY DOC HAS ME ON MEDS ALREADY FOR ALONG TIME NOW i WILL GO TO SEE SOMEONE. IF YOU HAVE ANY MORE ADVICE TO GIVE ME IT WOULD BE NICE YOU i DON;T LEAVE MY HOME ONLY FOR FOOD AND APPOINTMENTS PANIC ATTACKS WHEN I GO OUT ALONE WANDA