Anonymous asked this question on 4/13/2000:
Hi, I have been feeling more and more depressed recently, but I don't know why. It just seems ... sad. Sometimes I find myself crying without stop, for no particular reasons. I'm 21 year old, living with my brother and my sister. No one seems to notice this though. My acquintances always comment on how happy I look. I caught myself thinking more often about suicide, and that scares me at the same time. It's really ridiculous because I don't really see anything wrong with my life. There's no financial or family problem. The only problem I seem to have now is that my school works are all pile-up because I can't really focus well. I tried to discuss my feeling depress with my sister, but she dismissed it and called it "nonsense thought." But I can't really get rid of this "nonsense." Any suggestions on what I should do to take away this "heavy" feelings?
karunap gave this response on 4/13/2000:
It is not at all nonsense and it is totally real.
What probably happened is that when you were younger you were not allowed to process feelings as they happened (you can see that happening even now since now you are being told you are happy when you are sad) The child then covers over and stuffs down the feelings. When no more can be stuffed down depression starts.
Depression is particularly the result of stuffed anger. The first step in moving out of the depression is to start doing feeling work. I suggest people do 15-60 minutes a day of feeling work.
There are many forms. Some examples:
Write lists of mads, sads and scares. Journal about past and present feelings, Feel them as you write. Write angry letters and then destroy them Twist a towel Pound a pillow. Push against a wall pretending you are pushing away people you are angry with. Scream into a pillow or pool. Stomp as you walk
Talk to your friends….. find ways to increase your support system. Improve your diet and exercise patterns
Read GOOD GRIEF RITUALS, GROWING UP AGAIN and LETTING GO OF SUFFERING. They should be available on amazon.com
Do feeling work about all the past experiences in your life that you know you have not resolved.
It is actually great that the stuff is starting to come up now.... if you do the work you can be done with it in your 20's instead of adding years of dysfunctional behavior.
If you do the above things and still feel depressed I suggest you see a therapist for help with the work. Find someone who helps people problem solve, release feelings and work through old traumas rather than just put people on medication.
The average rating for this answer is 5.
Anonymous rated this answer a 5.
Thank you for your suggestions. It's really helpful and I'll try some of those. Hopefully it'll help.