Verbal Duels Quotes From FidoNet's HOLSMOKE Echo

Verbal Duels
Quotes From FidoNet's HOLSMOKE Echo

"Dead is dead." -- Karl Schneider
"I've never seen enough evidence to jump either way." -- Kurt Kuzba
"There is no such thing as too much garlic." -- Martin Goldberg
"You haven't had dinner with Fred Rice." -- Judith Bandsma
"By the way, murdered anyone lately?" -- Todd Henson
"Planning on coming to Charleston, soon?" -- Judith Bandsma
"Christ did come back. Hopefully someday, you will find him." -- Ken Young
"Go fuck yourself." -- Karl Schneider
"Exactly how are you trying to define 'born-again' Christianity?" -- Todd Henson
"Making the same mistake twice." -- Jitender Saan
"... there was no 'Global Flood.'" --- Dan Ceppa
"Then why did Noah build an Ark?" -- Laurie Appleton (madman)
"Remember, killing Catholics is MURDER. Killing Calvinists is PESTICIDE, just like killing cockroaches." -- Sean Mccullough
"Ah, so you DO advocate murder." -- Todd Henson
"No, I advocate PESTICIDE. Shut up and drink your RAID, cockroach!" -- Sean Mccullough
Q: "Who beta tested Preparations A through G?" --- MB
A: "Some assholes." --- JJH
"When did you decide to be arrogant?" - Ken Young
"The day after I decided that meek people deserve what they get." --- Preston Simpson
"Although I may not have a deathwish, I may still believe that I can get the gun away from you." -- Steve Bedard
"So, what are you gonna do? Read him passages out of the Bible and bore him to sleep? Or are you gonna hope that he's dumber than you and baffle him with bull shit?" -- Dan Ceppa
"My self I would hump a camel before a Jewish female." Jim Lammon
"As if either would have you." -- Robert Curry
"Besides, it isn't as if Christians are the only ones against homosexuality.." -- (Anonymous Christianic)
"Yeah, and it isn't as if Nazis are the only ones against Jews, either, right?" - David Worrell
"These so-called 'scientists' are not worth a dime!" --- Frank Hudson
"Of course not. Knowledge is priceless." --- Dan Ceppa
"Blatant self-inflicted punishment... such as having to read your posts." --- Steve Rose
"I believe God had it planned for you to read them all along." --- Nathan Dutton
"The king is coming!" - LEONARD BERNIER
"And the queen isn't. How typical." --- David Rice
"Do you have a crystal ball?" - Mike Melia
"You're acting so butch, Mikey. Both of my `nads' are of the standard material. I understand that this might be a curiousity to you, being essentially ball-less yourself..." -- Richard Smith
"What crawled up your butt and died?" - J. B. Shaughnessy
"CHRIST IS THE ANSWER. Seems to me, this adds a new meaning to the words 'religious tract.' Not to mention 'Biblical passage.'" -- J. J. Hitt
"Your attempt at humour is pathetic! Get a life in Christ." -- Frank Hudson
"I always thought that 'get a life' was an incredibly stupid cliche'. I had no idea that you could make it even stupider." --- J.J. Hitt
"Are you going to hex me?" - Mike Melia
"Why, are you a metric nut? I thought you just a regular nut." -- Richard Smith
"Do you now know why we don't eat pork. Its what distinguishes us from people like you. The flesh contains microbes that invades your brain cells and couses such twisting of the mind as one can see from the language used above. This is how the mind reacts to such desieses. Some people get infected and some don't. I think David Rice and Sean McCullough are effected with the desiese too." - Shabeir Khan
"It's no more harmful to know there are gays living together than for an Orthodox Jew to know people eat pork." --- Karen Davis
"Thank you! I am an idiot for Jesus!!" --- J. B. Shaughnessy
"As if Jesus needed any more." - Fredric Rice
"They will not find lasting peace until the come to accept that Jesus is the Messiah." --- Steve Asher
"In other words, Christians just like Steve are going to continue to rape and murder innocent people until they pretend the Jesus god exists. Their victims deserve it, huh, Steve?" --- Fredric Rice
"How _do_ you feel about symbolically eating human flesh?" --- Fredric Rice
"I feel honored as long as it is God's flesh I am symbolically partaking of. Anyone Else's and I would probably be bothered." --- Annette Spence
"Great! You're not just a cannibal, you're a *picky* cannibal." --- David Worrell
"Uh, maybe we should buy Ken a talking dildo..." --- Rod Swift
"Hi! I'm Ronnie the Talking Dildo, here to bring you the good news of Jesus Sphmmpfumm; ohmmanmsd smmmopids nmmnsahlm..." --- Don Martin
"Please explain what benefit their was for mankind when Hindly and Brady loved each other." --- Steph Parker
"Explain to me what the benefit would have been if they had hated each other." --- Marilyn Burge
How tall would you say Jesus was? I'm willing to bet he wasn't a fat man.
Of course he isn't really fat. That's how he can come down into everyone's chimneys and leave presents behind. - Dan Ceppa
How tall would you say Jesus was?
Before or after Calvary? - Marty Leipzig
Most the Dutch women I associate with have a sense of humor - Jim Staal
At 30 guilders an hour, they had better. Then again, seeing who their John is... of course they do... -- Richard Smith
Bullshit. If Slimeball Swaggart hadn't been caught 'red-handed' (to use your term) do you *actually* think his 'conscience' would have prompted a 'confession'? - Karl Schneider
Try this one on for size.. Perhaps he WANTED to get caught. Just maybe, the whole scandal never even happened. - Ken Young
Then I said, 'Why don't you just put down 'erection'?' She replied, 'What does *that* mean?' - Katherine Wintersnight
I would have told her "That's when Chineese-Americans vote every fourth year in November. 'Erection'." - David Rice
Most fundies that show up here are merely laughable. - Curtis Johnson
Which is one thing we could thank God for, if we could only find It... - Hector Plasmic
You may feast your eyes on the future Mrs Darryl Gonzalez at http://www.members.tripod.com/~DJGONZA/darjan.jpg - KW
I just had to go there one more time, just for the laugh. Oh, MAN, look at those teeth. Call a dentist, it's a fucking emergency! - Steve Quarrella
Now all you have to do is figure out why your heart isn't big enough to accept those who do reprehensible things, and ask yourself how you can have such a strong aversion to so designating them that you are willing to turn your back on the one Commandment that Christ said was the one that rules supreme: Love your neighbor as yourself. - Marilyn Burge
Stuff it, crone. - Jim Staal (his response is very telling, huh?)
Cut the sarcasm please David and give me a straight answer - Bob Hyde
ROFL. I look like David????? Oh dear. And David thought he already had problems. - JUDITH BANDSMA
Do you believe that the Kama Sutra should be depicted in courtrooms? - Dan Ceppa
It shouldn't be depicted, but it should be allowed to be depicted. - Ken Young
Even though America's legal system comes from the Bible? - Ken Young
Do you realize how INSANE that claim is?!?!? - David Rice
No, I don't realize that. - Ken Young
Yes, Jelly, I am an atheist. - Marty Leipzig
Then you are inflicted with beliefs. Quite dangerous ones, in fact. - Ken Young
How he found the airport in Oz is the biggest of them all. - KARL SCHNEIDER
His mother pinned a note to his shirt saying 'Dear Cab Driver: Deliver this idiot to the airport. Thank you.' - David Rice
"Is Dr. Gish a reliable source of information?" --- David Flechard
"Yes. You can count on him to lie, cheat, get pinned into a corner and confess to hoaxes he has helped to perpetuate, then come out of the corner and revert to lying. If it were illegal to abuse free speech, Gish would be serving several consecutive life sentences." --- Dave Hamilton
Ken Young will appear to be much brighter once he's dead. At least he will provide a few scavengers a hearty meal. - David Rice
Someone may, however, be in trouble with the SPCA. - Karl Schneider
There was no contradiction in what I said. My belief system is the same as the true moral belief system. After all, you cannot get more accurate than right-wing, born again Christianity. - Ken Young
One wonders if David Duke knows what has become of his bastard. - Luke Clark
Meanwhile, true Christianity is about love, peace, liberty, and justice. - Ken Young
Unfortunately, the millions of people Christians have butchered, enslaved, alienated, and hated are not around to refute your false claim. - David Rice
What is a Hopi nation? - JITENDER SAAN
All one-legged. - David Rice
Everything in this world had to be created. We are in a very limited world, after all. God didn't have to be created, because he is the Creator. All things needed a beginning. And God is that beginning. He is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. - Ken Young
I count five self-contradictions. Is that a record in one paragraph? - Richard Smith
Go to your local library and check out a book on the physics of magnetitism. - Ivy Iverson
Is that a study of what holds Dolly Parton's mammaries up? - Karl Schneider (From the SKEPTIC echo)
Maybe you will make it to next year's Dragonfest :) - ?
It might be the last. There certainly won't be any during the millennial reign of Christ, as the 'dragon' will be bound for the duration. - Steve Asher (Asher disappears in 2 years tops.)
Souunds like a 'tree hugging' organization. - Jim Staal (Bigot)
Beats hugging Jeezus! - Jan deBoer
How do you know? - Ken Young
Trees don't bleed all over you. - Sue Armstrong
"Oh gee, your one those people. Why should apoligize to anything..." -- Lordlmp
"You should apologize for using up oxygen and other essential supplies that are desperately needed for survival by banana slugs." --- Judith Bandsma
Or it could have been an attack from Satan. - Ken Young
Evidence for satan please, Jelly. - ?
Never heard any accounts of demonic possession? - Ken Young
Yep. Seen an example of it right before my eyes, too. Only now we call it 'epilepsy'. Do you really enjoy having a medieval mindset? - ?
Oh, please.. Epilepsy does not have to be demonic possession. But it does exist. Or do 84 year-old women normally have more strength, than the average young adult male? Do babies that don't know how to talk yet, usually speak in deep voices? - Ken Young
Anyone can talk to God David, even you. - Andrew Masten (rabid fundy)
Anyone can talk to cheese, Andy, even you. - Fredric L. Rice
Please and What great feat have you done for mankind? - Don Ward
For one thing, I've erased your message. - Marty Leipzig
Actually, I think that sexuality is determined by environment in %100 of the cases. - Jim Staal, idiot
The high incidence of pedophilia amongst clergy and priests therefore indicates christianity is a bad environement that causes sexual deviancy. Right, Jimbo? - Jan deBoer
Well, in spite of the way I have been received in this echo, I have been praying for all of you folks. - Bill Kochman
Great! I've been sacrificing virgins to Satan for you. - David Worrell
HOW CAN YOU BOTH USE THE LORDS NAME IN VEIN? - MARY SMITH
A large syringe and some sort of minced god? - BRIAN KOLACY
Therefore the criteria must be 'begotten, not made, of the same substance as the Father, God and very God'. - (Some idiot moron)
And what is this `substance?' - Martin Goldberg
It's an unstable isotope of Unobtainium; the one with a negative half-life; so it disappears before it exists. - Marty Leipzig
In my opinion Man is inately evil, - Kano Vuong
Feel free to kill yourself. Think of it as one less evil person in the world. - David Worrell
What bothers me is that he, or others, won't allow themselves to succumb to Christ. - `Father' Chris Vaillancourt
A sad statement. Do you suppose alcoholics are bothered by the fact that others don't 'succumb to' the bottle? - Mark Kimes
What is the difference between right-wing and left-wing Christianity? --- Preston Simpson
Jelly doesn't understand the former is according to Saul; the latter, to Jesus. --- Karl Schneider
"BTW, what the heck is 'a real cross,' anyway? :-)" -- Mkimes
"I think it's realated to the double cross." -- Martin Goldberg
"Does pizza taste the same in zero-g?" -- Jitender
"Only the first time." -- Marty Leipzig
"... there was no 'Global Flood.'" --- Dan Ceppa
"Then why did Noah build an Ark?" -- Laurie Appleton (madman)
"Why do whales have skeletal phalanges in their flippers?" -- Dave Hamilton
"So that they can give Appleton the finger?" -- God Dan
"bite me!" -- John Warner
"Why eat shit?" -- God Dan
"Is the Pope Polish?" --- Curtis Johnson
"Nah, he more of an abrasive." --- God Dan
"I'm still trying to figure out why some dyke would let a little boy put his finger in her." --- Jim Staal
"Because you paid her." --- Marty Leipzig
"I doubt that, but sure as Hell some of Adam's descendants are IDIOTS!" -- Laurie Appleton
"Note that you're the only one here that claims to be one of 'Adam's descendants...'" --- Joe Seatter
"B-b-b-b-ut why? We are kinsmen." --- James Staal
"You're confused, Jim. You're a Klansman." -- Jan Deboer
"Me, I have had the same phone number for over 30 years." --- James Staal
"Good thing. It'd probably take you that long to remember a new one." --- Marty Leipzig
"God Bless America." --- James Staal
"America needs some illusory diety's blessing like a rhino needs roller skates." --- Marty Leipzig
"God Bless America." --- James Staal
"Why? Did America sneeze?" --- David Rice
MG> We all know what Staal's position on gays is.
DR> Face down.
There was no contradiction in what I said. My belief system is the same as the true moral belief system. After all, you cannot get more accurate than right-wing, born again Christianity. - Ken Young
One wonders if David Duke knows what has become of his bastard. - Luke Clark
Homesexuality is wrong. - Bill Sims
I agree. Sexuality should be done in public. - Rod Swift
What bothers me is that he, or others, won't allow themselves to succumb to Christ. - `Father' Chris Vaillancourt
A sad statement. Do you suppose alcoholics are bothered by the fact that others don't 'succumb to' the bottle? - Mark Kimes
What the Bible says..[sic] - Ken Young
... depends on who's reading it. - David Rice
CM] God sends no one to Hell. - Christian Miller
DW] I refuse to go to hell. What's going to happen to me?
CM] How will you stop God the Father from sending you there?
KD] [sigh] First you said that God didn't force anyone to go to
KD] hell, and then you said that he did. - Kevin D. Mckenzie
CM] Try to twist shit, and turn it.
I know a story of a man in hell wishing he had listened to the Christians - J. B. Shaughnessy
I know a story of a man in Oz wishing he had a brain. - Richard Smith
Last night I purchased some tofu hotdogs. - David Rice
When you start buying tofu hot dogs, religion can't be far behind. [G] - Judith Bandsma
How to Know That Christ Is in Your Life - David Ragland
Your asshole starts to hurt? - Quentin Fai
"The only thing that doesn't go with beer is..." -- Marty Leipzig
"Death." -- Karl Schneider
"Never been to an Irish wake, I see." -- God Dan
"Nothing else in the history of mankind comes close to the draw that religion has on the human race." -- Jeff Binkley
"Alcohol." -- Blanche Nonken
"Are you proposing freedom from religion ?" -- Jeff Binkley
"Are you proposing slavery to religion?" -- God Dan
"You sound like you've already studied Hovind's challenge." --- Brad Reddekopp
"There's nothing to study. There is much to laugh at, though." -- God Dan
"Actually, I was born a fundy." -- Jim Stall
"No, actually, you were born a moron. The fundy part was the logical consequence." -- Karl Schneider
"Get yourself to Kalispell, Montana." --- God Dan
"Which is where exactly?" --- Howie Coombe
"Kalispell, Montana" --- God Dan
"You call yourself a 'Freethinker,' and yet you refuse point blank to recognise the POV of anyone other then an atheist?" -- Howie Coombe
"I recognize those points of view and I am willing to adopt any one of them as soon as someone shows me really good supporting evidence. I _will_ follow where the evidence leads. Without evidence, though, there's no reason to believe and so I don't. That's open-mindedness. That's being free to think. "That's what freed me from religion." -- Brad Reddekopp